Contact from ex

LegacyUser

A guy I have a bit of a history with (years ago) but whom I am still on very good terms with and see eachother on nights out etc has suddenly resumed contact via text. Its been going on for maybe 2 weeks now and I am uncertain where its leading.
Has anybody had experience of this and should I remain contact or could it just be a thing where he might miss me to an extent but also be perhaps lonely or bored? I do still have feelings for him but I don't want to continue texting and have him disappear again but then I don't want to quench any potential chances there are for a reconciliation!

Any thoughts please?

Miss Fluff

Not being funny but there's a veritable myriad of reasons why he has resumed contact. These could range from wanting to get back together to being horny to needing something to boredom to realising what he's lost. Really and truly, there are countless reasons so anyone here would only be speculating if they told you he's been in touch for something specific. Are the texts sexual in nature? What's he saying? Has he suggested meeting up? Have you thought of actually asking him why he's in touch again?

Lolajay

I'm not sure you are giving enough information. When you say history do you mean you had a few drunken fumbles? Or was it a relationship? And on what grounds did you become friends again?

Assuming it was a relationship - because you've called him your ex and because you say you still have feelings for him 2 years on then I think you're probably on fragile ground.

What are the nature of his messages? Is he flirting with you?

I know I was in a similar situation a few years ago with an ex - who'd broken my heart and I was still carrying around feelings leaving me a little vulnerable to his comeback.

I now wish that I had asked him immediately what had brought on the contact and also what he was hoping to achieve!

Although, it's tough advice to take on board sometimes - my friends always remind me that there are 2 people in any situation and you should never lose what you want trying to work out what he does.

LegacyUser

Miss Fluff: No the messages are not that way inclined atall. More so just general chit chat, asking how my day was, how college is going, what he's been up to, plans for the summer. He hasn't suggested meeting up but enquired what my plans for weekends have been and that but hasn't really acted on anything. I don't know if he's building up and see how my interets lie ie. am I responding to texts and how my attitude is towards him?

Loljay:We were together for a few months and remained on good terms because the only reason we broke up was because I had to leave the country for 8 months for work. I feel I can't ask him outright like that because we are friends so its not like we've gone months and months with no contact at all but its just this time its a lot more consistent rather than one day of texts every few months even though I know I should ask really I don't want to walk away in case there's a chance but then I don't want to be clutching at straws either...he has been badly hurt by a girl years ago and so that may have something to do with it but I really don't know....

Miss Fluff

unregistered wrote: »

We were together for a few months and remained on good terms because the only reason we broke up was because I had to leave the country for 8 months for work.

Aw ok, well it sounds to me like he could be interested and is perhaps guaging your interest too. That's only a guess but I would definitely keep an open mind and keep in contact if you still like him. Sounds like you may be quite cautious and he is too so maybe a little bit of gentle encouragement would do no harm at all

LegacyUser

Thanks Miss Fluff, another thing that I'm wondering is the amount of contact to keep up...its say "my turn" to reply because I fell asleep last night! So to maintain texting tonight maybe or perhaps hold off until tomorrow? Don't get me wrong, I am the last person to play games so I'm not leaning towards that but I don't want to come on too full everyday but also I definetly want him to know that I am interested?

Miss Fluff

Don't overthink it, if you want to text him this evening then text him this evening

LegacyUser

That's my downfall, I overthink everything!! But thanks for your help Miss Fluff :-)

Jupitermars

hi op. yes i have had experience of this in the past. in fact i had one recurrent ex who kept re-contacting me. and indeed we would end up back dating. i generally think that if an ex re-contacts , they are seeing the lay of the land , sussing it out. is there much chit chat, do you think it might lead to a catch up coffee/drink/dinner. and we all know what follows from that

If you want to revisit that relationship then maintain contact, hell if you really like him why dont you just suggest catching up (depending on general communication and tone of communication). if not then let it drift off.