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Really Good Deed

  • 15-02-2012 10:47am
    #1
    Tauriel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,564 ✭✭✭✭


    A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness.

    Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"

    Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life.

    Without them we wouldn't be here."

    Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.

    To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?"
    ________________________________________________________

    A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week.

    "Next Sunday," she said, "we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for our lesson I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark."

    The following week, at the beginning of the class meeting, the teacher said, "Now then, all of you who have prepared for the lesson by reading the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please step to the front of the room."

    About half the class rose and came forward.

    "The rest of you may leave," said the teacher, "these students are the ones I want to talk to. There is no Seventeenth Chapter in the Book of Mark."
    _________________________________________________________
    This guy arrives at the Pearly Gates. He has to wait to be admitted, while St. Pete leafs through his Big Book.

    He's checking to see if the guy is worthy of entry or not. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did lots of good in your life but, you never did anything bad either.

    Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in."

    The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Well, there was this one time when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a Biker Gang assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, that's what they were doing. There were about 50 of 'em torturing this chick.

    Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron from my trunk and walked straight up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the Gang formed a circle all around me.

    So I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone, you slime! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"

    St. Peter, extremely impressed, says, "Really? Wow, when did all this happen?"

    "Er.. about two minutes ago."


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