Dats a good one, cud 'ave told dem dis from de start.

Xenophile

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Xenophile

Dats a gud one, cud 'ave told dem dis from de start

Amended Draft

In de forst year, "s" vil replac de soft "c". Sertanly, dis vil mak de sivil cervants jump wid joy. De hard "c" vil be dropped in favor of "k". Dis shud klear up konfuson, and kebords kan hav one les lete.

Der vil be growin publik ntusiasm in de sekond year ven de trublsom "ph" will be replaced vid "f". Dis vil make vords lik fotograf 20% shorte.

In de 3rd yer, publik akseptanse of de nu spelin kan be expekted to rich de stage ver mor komplikated changes ar posibl.

Governments vil enkourag de removl of dubl leters vich hav always ben a deternt to akurat speling.

Also, al vil agre dat de horibl mes of de silent "e" in de languag is disgrasful and it shud go vay.

By de 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasin "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

Durin ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontainin "ou" and aftr ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu undrstan ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be spekin German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

MonkieSocks

Xenophile wrote: »

speln eros

Brilliant

dermiek

+1 on briliant.
Also, ve al lov ze reason for editing, zenofil.