19 reasons seagulls are evil b*astards.

sNarah

1. Their special curved beaks are designed for gulping out eyes.
2. They steal icecream and lollipops from small children.
3. Seagulls have been known to associate with Nazi's.
4. Seagulls are selfish.
5. When you are feeling sad, a seagull thrives.
6. Seagulls eat baby turtles for pleasure. As soon as they hatch, they catch the poor turtle, torture it for hours and then only eat their hearts.
7. Seagulls dislike Gary Busey.
8. Allegedly a seagull was behind the murder on both princess Diana and princess Grace of Monaco.
9. It's a little know fact that Elvis did not die from a bad lifestyle, but from a vicious seagull attack.
10. Seagulls earn money selling uranium to Iran.
11. Seagulls are responsible for making the dodo extinct, not the fault of Dutch traders as the public were told.
12. Seagulls can cause tsunamis by telepathic powers and the bastards hate Thailand. You do the math.
13. Seagulls built Auswitch for Hitler.
14. They also made Tsjernobil explode.
15. Seagulls hate panda bears and are cutting down bamboo worldwide.
16. They created Pierce Morgan in a laboratorium.
17. They invented phone hacking and taught Rupert Murdoch how to do it.
18. Seagulls created the Boston Tea Party.
19. They also instructed Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman the trades of politics.

Oranage2

Seagulls are awesome!

2. They steal icecream and lollipops from small children.

Seagulls are single handily(wingily) tackling the epidemic of childhood obesity!

6. Seagulls eat baby turtles for pleasure. As soon as they hatch, they catch the poor turtle, torture it for hours and then only eat their hearts.

Turtles are commonly referred to as the rats of the sea, this makes the whales happy.

Seagulls built Auswitch for Hitler.

Hitler told them it was a holiday camp - as seagulls are the most honourable bird they would not have built such a thing.

Seagulls hate panda bears and are cutting down bamboo worldwide.

Pandas are known man eaters that beat small children with bamboo sticks



So you see sNarah seagulls are good and actually our friends

FTGFOP

This dry old bird of an argument about seagulls is an

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ombnqWR3eA

around the neck of The Cuckoo's Nest.

sNarah

No no, you are mistaken.

See point 20:

Seagulls are pathological lairs and are very good in convincing other earth creatures that they have but good intentions. After that, they steal your watch and wallet.

FTGFOP

What do they do with these things?

sNarah

I refer back to my original post whilst I research the direful behaviour of seagulls.

FTGFOP

sNarah wrote: »

1. Seagulls hate panda bears and are cutting down bamboo worldwide.

This is unsustainable agriculture.

...
Oh, I'm sorry. I read 'hate' as 'eat'.

The above seems like a 'gotcha' photograph? How did you come to choose this particular shot?

starlit

I did not know that all those 19 reasons. Interesting facts! Really thought it were eagles?

Yes indeed, seagulls are very noisy woke me up many a time when living in dublin.

Deki

seagull got your granny :eek:

Oranage2

Seagulls are the Gypsies of the of the bird kingdom, they're attracted to shinny things and steal furniture from skips - And I dont even live anywhere near the sea :mad:



If only it wasn't racist to discuss crows!

Deki

I have seen seagulls at the lake. and in parking lots. They love to hang out in parking lots. What do you think they are up to? Should I call security?

Oranage2

Probably stealing trolleys deki.

TeddyTedson

There's a lot of people talking about things they don't understand in his thread. Seagulls are burds of prey. And need to be respected and treated as such.
They're to be wined and dined if you want to get best results. For centuries people have argued where or not they were the dominant burd, and now for the first time ever, scientists have come out and given us the definitive answer, "most likely".

To me there was never any doubt, from the moment I stood in the line in senior infants and the seagulls who cleaned our yard crapped on me one lunch time, I knew they were special. Such an honor to be chosen in such a special way. It's flattering really. You wouldn't crap on someone you didn't know very well, so I assume the seagulls were studying me for quite some time.

So evil, not so much. Precious burds of prey. This thread should now be locked and sNarah banned for posting such slanderous material. I thought we were ahead of the curve here in tCN but it seems like the bar is dropping. Sharky fix it !!!! :mad:

timesnap

Seagulls eat fingers and have no sense of smell........... Snuff said

TeddyTedson

A seagull representative came to me during the night and demanded sNarah make a full apology.

Sarky

Demanded while waving a golf club at you, I'll bet.

Bastards.

Plazaman

A seagull once stole my baby....... or watch........I can't remember which but both are missing.

Damn seagulls :mad:

Star Lord

Sarky wrote: »

Demanded while waving a golf club at you, I'll bet.

Bastards.

In fairness, Teddy was sleeping on their course, and the gull was trying to play through.

TeddyTedson

When you make friends with them you can call them Gulls :cool:
They are amazing people once you get to know more about their culture. Burds of prey.

Sindri

I heard they were ghey. This is reason enough to reverse engineer the seagulls back into the lizard people so they lose their greatest advantage over us humans.


The ability to defecate on other, stronger, creatures.

Plus they are the earth's super creature, like Jaws but with wings. This makes their power incomprehensible. They can swim, fly, defecate on other animals, and a single bird can bring down a whole plane! :eek: Plus they were behind 9/11. Obama Osama was actually a seagull who after a disappointing intern-ship at the World Trade Centre, where they refused to stock his brand of shoe polish decided the only thing to do would be to use a skywriter to skywrite a message in the sky detailing his grievances. And that, children, is how Papa decided he had a dissociative disorder. Oh and it was all the zombie Jews.