Girl at work?

Pentecost

Right, I don't normally do threads in here, just throwing this out to everyone. Started a new job recently, getting on grand with everyone generally. I went out with a few of them recently and was talking to one girl I hadn't met until then.

Wasn't really thinking anything romantic, she seemed sound enough, we were all having a laugh, the girls were getting a bit tipsy on cocktails. I was merry I suppose, having a bit of fun but well aware and still reserved.

Anyway said girl was being kind of flirty (I think) offering me sips of her cocktail, asking if I was going dancing etc, danced with her for a while in a completely harmless way, didn't try anything because there were lots of reasons why it wasn't advisable as a new employee! I went home early enough they stayed out.

From that night to today she is completely avoiding any potential personal contact. We work in an open plan office, she was going to the printer then turned away when she saw me, I happened to make eye contact with her by accident whilst working another time, her eyes dropped to the floor.

If I had to throw on my amateur psychologist hat I'd say she seemed embarrassed rather than annoyed at me but neither of us are kids, both 30+ish I'd say, and I didn't do anything to her! Is that the problem or what?!

Apologies for the length, been brooding on this for a few days now. All comments/advice gratefully received.

JajaD

She feels rejected by you cos she made all the moves and u showed no interest by not reacting to her flirting. She's just embarrased. If u like her, maybe say to her the next time that you were on your best behaviour cos you were a newbie and cheekily tell her that you hope to have a good night out with them again:)

Pentecost wrote: »

Right, I don't normally do threads in here, just throwing this out to everyone. Started a new job recently, getting on grand with everyone generally. I went out with a few of them recently and was talking to one girl I hadn't met until then.

Wasn't really thinking anything romantic, she seemed sound enough, we were all having a laugh, the girls were getting a bit tipsy on cocktails. I was merry I suppose, having a bit of fun but well aware and still reserved.

Anyway said girl was being kind of flirty (I think) offering me sips of her cocktail, asking if I was going dancing etc, danced with her for a while in a completely harmless way, didn't try anything because there were lots of reasons why it wasn't advisable as a new employee! I went home early enough they stayed out.

From that night to today she is completely avoiding any potential personal contact. We work in an open plan office, she was going to the printer then turned away when she saw me, I happened to make eye contact with her by accident whilst working another time, her eyes dropped to the floor.

If I had to throw on my amateur psychologist hat I'd say she seemed embarrassed rather than annoyed at me but neither of us are kids, both 30+ish I'd say, and I didn't do anything to her! Is that the problem or what?!

Apologies for the length, been brooding on this for a few days now. All comments/advice gratefully received.

Pentecost

Hmm, cheers, I don't know if I "didn't respond" as such I mean obviously I didn't try a kiss or anything but I did chat away to her and wasn't slow to go dancing with her or whatever. it just wasnt the right setting for anything more, the place was pretty quiet for one thing and one of the lads was videoing us on his phone for another thing! I didn't really feel it was "on", I don't know,.

I don't work with her directly but we'll see. I'm not even sure I actually even like her enough to be bothered overcoming what seems like pretty much a non issue to me, but we'll see if we're ever in a social setting again. Any and all further opinions welcome btw

ted1

She may married and is embarrassed with the way she was acting.

Big Bag of Chips

Yeah first thing I thought was maybe she has a boyfriend/husband whatever.

Or maybe without drink she's just really shy.

I wouldn't think its a case of her being annoyed because you didn't make a move on her, but more a case of her being embarrassed by her own behaviour, for whatever reason.

ButterflyABC

Pentecost wrote: »

Right, I don't normally do threads in here, just throwing this out to everyone. Started a new job recently, getting on grand with everyone generally. I went out with a few of them recently and was talking to one girl I hadn't met until then.

Wasn't really thinking anything romantic, she seemed sound enough, we were all having a laugh, the girls were getting a bit tipsy on cocktails. I was merry I suppose, having a bit of fun but well aware and still reserved.

Anyway said girl was being kind of flirty (I think) offering me sips of her cocktail, asking if I was going dancing etc, danced with her for a while in a completely harmless way, didn't try anything because there were lots of reasons why it wasn't advisable as a new employee! I went home early enough they stayed out.

From that night to today she is completely avoiding any potential personal contact. We work in an open plan office, she was going to the printer then turned away when she saw me, I happened to make eye contact with her by accident whilst working another time, her eyes dropped to the floor.

If I had to throw on my amateur psychologist hat I'd say she seemed embarrassed rather than annoyed at me but neither of us are kids, both 30+ish I'd say, and I didn't do anything to her! Is that the problem or what?!

Apologies for the length, been brooding on this for a few days now. All comments/advice gratefully received.

She's 100% shy, she is acting the same way as I would totally shy. Seriously! And by the way I'm 30 too. Suppose it seems sad to some to be so shy at such an age but I'm telling you that's what it is. She is behaving exactly how I would.
Go talk to her it'll make her day.
That's just my take on it anyway.

Pentecost

Don't think she has a boyfriend or anything she was talking generally about guys she'd been with recently. Doesn't strike me as shy in a work setting but you never know I suppose, I'm shy too but wouldn't take it that far. Cheers for the replies btw I'll bear them all in mind!

LovelyLottie

It's impossible to say for sure why she's acting like that, but on work nights out you can get a bit tipsy and be friendlier/more open with work people than you normally are, and then afterwards worry that maybe you did/said things you shouldn't have. Perhaps she was a bit drunk and then thought afterwards that maybe she had come onto you, and maybe she's now a bit embarrassed. Perhaps she's worried that you think she fancies you because of the way she acted, and now has gone in the opposite direction, avoiding all contact. Us girls do tend to overthink things... Who knows, but she's certainly now turned it into a bigger deal than it was in the first place :rolleyes:

Pentecost

Forgot to come back to this. Lottie your post above is exactly what I've been running through myself, all of those scenarios. It's just funny in that I'd be more than ok with her not being interested and having been just flirting for the fun of it, that was more or less what I was doing!

I'm not sure why as a girl in a pretty successful career situation and old enough to know how to handle such situations she's being, to my mind anyway, really odd. It's not going to really affect what I do from day to day so just going to leave things unless and until we're ever away from work again. Even then I'll have to play it by ear.