Fallen out with a Friend

Libra 2010

Hello I was wondering if anyone can help or advice me. I have fallen out with a friend who I was very close to at one stage. For the past 5 months, we have not spoken. To be honest I blame her for the falling out. I feel that she was a crap friend for months before the actual falling out. She was constantly cancelling on me when I tried to arrange meeting her. Most of the time she gave me no notice in cancelling on me. On a number of occasions I sat in my house waiting for her arrival for hours, until I would receive a text message from her saying she 'fell asleep' therefore didnt come to visit. Other times she would make unbelievable excuses not to meet me. This all happened around the time that she met her boyfriend and although I was happy for her to have met someone, I missed her. So eventually I said it to her, that I never see her anymore and she said that it would change and she would make time for me. But this didnt happen. Instead I saw less and less of her and when I would txt her, she wouldnt text back for 2-3 days later. Then 5 months ago, she failed to show up to an important event for me and when I told her how hurt I was, she became really angry, saying how selfish I am and how I only think of myself all of the time. She said that I should be more understanding in the fact that she only gets to see her boyfriend at weekends. However I pointed out that I only ever get the opportunity to see her at weekends also as during the week, she says that she does be too tired to meet up.

A few days after the arguement I txt her to say 'lets start again and forget about it all', to wish I received an angry and hurtful text message back from her. I tried to reconcile but to no avail.

Since then I have text her 'Hi' a number of times and sent her a private Facebook message but I never get a response.

Should I just forget about her?

Ickle Magoo

Hey there,

Given you your own thread rather than having you tack onto someone else's old thread. :cool:

amdublin

I think the signs she is giving are that she doesn't want be friends with you.

Frankly all that cancelling on you and not replying - you deserve a better friend then that.

Chinafoot

If she has made no attempt to speak to you in the last 5 months I would forget about her. You have made numerous attempts to sort things out but she has made it clear that she isn't interested.

She doesn't sound like a very good friend, and while I'm sure you miss I honestly think you'll be better off without someone like that in your life.

Its a crappy situation but I'd move on if I were you.

Dr. Manhattan

Libra 2010 wrote: »

A few days after the arguement I txt her to say 'lets start again and forget about it all', to wish I received an angry and hurtful text message back from her. I tried to reconcile but to no avail.

Since then I have text her 'Hi' a number of times and sent her a private Facebook message but I never get a response.

Should I just forget about her?

If you offered a way back, a true friend would have taken it. I can imagine it hurts, but I think you'll have to accept that this friendship is over.

Big Bag of Chips

The friendship doesn't make you feel good, and hasn't for a long time. So why put yourself through the agony of dragging it on?

Forget her. Move on. It's not nice, it's a horrible feeling, and I think beneath it all there is unfinished business between you (you feel wronged by her, and you were!) This is probably why you are clinging on to getting back in touch with her - so that she can see the error of her ways, apologise and things go back to normal.

Unfortunately, I don't think that's going to happen...

ABajaninCork

OP. I had an identical situation to yours with a friend I was as close to as family. We'd been friends for over twenty years. I was BM at her wedding, godmother to her son, supported each other through some really tough times.

She cut me loose after I called her out on something. It was a silly argument, and I thought we could move on and forget about it. It didn't happen, despite several attempts by me to extend an olive branch.

Looking back, I think she wanted to end the friendship for some time, and our dispute gave her the excuse needed to end it.

It hurt and still does hurt, but I've accepted the fact she doesn't wish to speak to me and moved on.

You have to do the same. Accept the fact the friendship for whatever reason is over. I wouldn't go looking for closure as there won't be any.

gaa131

To answer your question - yes - forget about her. Why on earth would you need someone like this in your life?

Libra 2010

Thanks everyone for the comments. All of you are so right. I think it is time to let it go and focus on the other people in my life.