Intimidation at work

x3wiggles

Hi girlies.

Hypothetically if you were in this situation, what would you do?

Say you had a boss who you found very overbearing and intimidating. And he would make inappropriate jokes that ended in "you're fired".
And recently, for some unknown reason you were receiving customer "complaints". And you were brought to the office and reprimanded and warned that if there's one more complaint you're fired?

Yet, your 30-35 hour week is continuous and the hours haven't declined. And now after the last confrontation, the boss is avoiding eye contact with you and still intimidating you.

Money and a full time job are a big deal and because you're supporting your unemployed father, theres a huge strain to keep your job.

What would you do?

mikemac1

Don't attend one to one meetings, terrible idea
Bring someone else, maybe your team leader or maybe your teammate.
Their job is to ensure it doesn't get nasty and they can take notes

OP, they want you to quit and avoid paying you redundancy
These customer complaints do not even exist

So get a journal and write down word for word everything you think needs recording, what was said, who witnessed it and time and date.

If this escalates it goes to "he said, she said" and you need the records

And I'm betting you're not the only one who gets this treatment. So look around and see do you have a buddy in the same situation as you who you can discuss this with

Of course this is a hypothetical situation

I know this is TLL and you want the ladies perspective but I do post over in work forum a bit

ihsb

I would make sure that you join an union on the side... you don't have to join them through your payslip, you can join without your employer knowing.

Then once you have done this I would ask for advice from your Citizens advice Centre.

On a personal level. I would smile politely and act like it isn't bothering you. And when you are feeling stable and not as down that you might explode or cry. Maybe take the boss to the side and ask in a calm and collected way if he has a problem with you and the work you do.

If he is anything like my ex boss, this will shake him as he might not expect you to be so direct.

Anyway deffo do the first things, the latter were just what worked for me. (Also if there are emails or anything like that circulating about the bullying make sure you print them out)

hattoncracker

Join a union too if you can..

x3wiggles

mikemac1 wrote: »

And I'm betting you're not the only one who gets this treatment. So look around and see do you have a buddy in the same situation as you who you can discuss this with

There was. But even she's wondering why I'm getting singled out.


@ihsb, I would but the intimidation is too much. I don't know whats rubbed him the wrong way.

x3wiggles

What unions are available?

hattoncracker

x3wiggles wrote: »

What unions are available?

It depends on the type of company that you work for.. Retail have their own, telecoms have their own, etc.

x3wiggles

supervalu?

MagicMarker

mikemac1 wrote: »

OP, they want you to quit and avoid paying you redundancy
These customer complaints do not even exist

That's amazing, do you also have the winning Lotto numbers?

OP, what kind of company are you working for? Is it just a small place? Is there a HR department? How long have you been working there?

ihsb

x3wiggles wrote: »

I would but the intimidation is too much. I don't know whats rubbed him the wrong way.

Just remember that it is NOTHING about you. This is on him. He is acting unprofessional and it is probably to do with something on his personal level. Do not let him get into your head like that!

Siptu seems to have a department for everyone

hattoncracker

x3wiggles wrote: »

supervalu?

Mandate trade union! :-)

P_1

Mandate would be the best union for you, be warned though, I would suggest that you get a decent number (60%+) of your colleagues to join woth you at the same time.

The more people you can get into the union
a- The more the union will do for you
b- The more seriously your employer will take the union.

x3wiggles

MagicMarker wrote: »

OP, what kind of company are you working for? Is it just a small place? Is there a HR department? How long have you been working there?

it's a locally owned establishment. i've been working there about 9 months.

ihsb

If you are full-time contract then you have employment rights after nine months. If you have a part-time one then you have to work over a year to have rights (as far as I know)

P_1

ihsb wrote: »

If you are full-time contract then you have employment rights after nine months. If you have a part-time one then you have to work over a year to have rights (as far as I know)

Sadly you need to be working 366 (367 in a leap year) to have full employment rights.

The Work and Jobs forum should give you some more answers OP, you can post anon in the Work Problems section

x3wiggles

there wasn't an agreed contract. I started at 15 hours a week and now i have 30-35 hours a week. gosh this is so unorganized!

MagicMarker

x3wiggles wrote: »

it's a locally owned establishment. i've been working there about 9 months.

It sounds like you just have a complete prick as a boss tbh, intimidation is probably his idea of people management, and it likely works most of the time as he probably hires younger students mostly.

I know it's easier said than done but you just have to try and ride it out, don't let him get to you, he won't be the last gobshíte you work for so you may as well get used to it!

Just keep the head down and do your job, in the mean time you could keep a diary to record anything he does that's out of line, it may come in handy in the future!!

x3wiggles

The problem is, full time jobs are hard to come by so I have to stick this one out.

But the main reason why I posted this in TLL was to get women's opinions on male bosses intimidating them and what would they do.

He's just so overbearing.

the_syco

mikemac1 wrote: »

DSo get a journal and write down word for word everything you think needs recording, what was said, who witnessed it and time and date.

Check if your phone can record conversations if it's in your pocket (ensure it's on silent!), or maybe look into getting a small device (such as a watch) that can. It can be usefull for writing down notes after the meeting, esp if you were unsure what they said.

x3wiggles wrote: »

supervalu?

When you're in his office next, keep an eye for union propaganda. Join one that the boss isn't part of.

pithater1 wrote: »

I would suggest that you get a decent number (60%+) of your colleagues to join woth you at the same time.

Some unions need a percentage of the staff to join, which can be difficult if a large percentage are part-timers. Casually bring it up with some of the "furniture" (long time low level members) as they call themselves :P and see if they're already part of a union - it may be easier to build upon what's already there.

Bubblefett

Op, I had to leave a job because of awful male staff before, I know it's not easy.
What I did is I kept detailed records of everything, dates, times, what was said. When things got bad they were a lifesaver for me.

It's a very tough situation- is there anyone in your HR dep you could call and ask can you have an "informal" chat with? Tell them your issues as off the record (and insist they're off the record) and see what they say?

atila

This is the type of situation that gets very tricky and i dont envy you.

Probably, theoretically anway he has followed procedures by the sounds of things. He has had a meeting with you, told you of some job related issues arising from customer feedback and issued a warning. That all sounds pretty standard by the book type of stuff.

Now unfortunatley some of the things you have described thus far regards intimidating behaviour when written on paper sound a little vague. Citing jokes with the "your fired" catch phrase and not making eye contact is not really enough to backup your opinion that your being intimidated and that he is overbearing. Its not conclusive that that behaviour is as you percieve it.

Please dont for a minute think i dont believe you or that your exagerating, i just want to stress to you that when your going to confront somebody on something subjective it will really pay you to spend a lot of thought pining down and articulating clearly what it is about his behaviour you dislike, and want changed. The key here is to make sure you have a very clear line on what it is you want to change.

I appreciate its an internet post and you were probably taking shortcuts in your description of whats going on, but if your serious about a confrontation, you'll have to be aware that the timing is very bad. Objectively it could be portrayed as employee gets a reprimand, and then takes revenge by claiming intimidation. As much as it sucks, that is the hand you've got at the moment so my advice would be to proceed cautiously. Perhaps its better to give things time, and see how it develops.