Charity donation wedding presents

poppet1

Hi all,

We are having a small wedding with immediate family only during the day and about 100 guests in the evening for a party. It might be a bit strange for our guests when it comes to gifts since it is a bit out of the norm. People might not know what they should do. We've been living together for a while and so don't need many house things and we wouldn't expect the usual cash gift you would get for a big event. So we thought that we might say that we would be happy to accept donations to a charity instead if people are not sure what to give us. So my questions are: Is this a good idea or would people find this even stranger? And if it is a good idea how do we put this, on the invitations or just tell people or what?? Any feedback would be appreciated.

Thanks!

amdublin

Great idea fair play to you!

Stheno

I like this option and I'd choose a neutral charity like the Cancer Society as a pointer for people.

They need never know how much you gave, but I think you can get a gift receipt from them saying you donated on a particular occasion in your name.

People can add that in their cards, and not feel worried.

Cathmandooo

I'm not fond of the idea. It's very noble but I don't like the idea of anything gift related being mentioned in the invitation. You're inviting them to come celebrate your big day with you (or in your case the evening). It should be their choice whether they give anything or not.

If they give you a cash gift then you can go donate it to a charity of your choice but I wouldn't be announcing that. It's not a fundraising event and surely knowing yourselves that the money is being put to a good cause is enough?

Just my 2c anyway.

amdublin

Cathmandooo wrote: »

I'm not fond of the idea. It's very noble but I don't like the idea of anything gift related being mentioned in the invitation. You're inviting them to come celebrate your big day with you (or in your case the evening). It should be their choice whether they give anything or not.

If they give you a cash gift then you can go donate it to a charity of your choice but I wouldn't be announcing that. It's not a fundraising event and surely knowing yourselves that the money is being put to a good cause is enough?

Just my 2c anyway.

Interesting

you could always just say nothing in the invite but get the word around other ways eg. If someone asks you what you tell them. Or more commonly people ask relatives (parents/siblings) and they can tell them. Or just mention it in conversation if your wedding comes up for discussion.

But I say fair play to you again!

baby and crumble

OP, I think what we're doing is we're going to do up a 'booklet' type thing, like a guide to our event- it's not a wedding, it's a civil partnership so it's not really traditional- we need to let people know what's going on and when. I think if you do it right, in a fun way, you could introduce the idea there. We will be sending out the booklets to everyone with their invites.

This might only work if you're having a pretty non traditional wedding though, if you're doing the 'elegant' thing people might not get it.

lazygal

We just let our parents tell relatives who asked that we'd be delighted if donations would be made to the Irish Cancer Society. We told our friends ourselves when they asked what we'd like. We were really touched by people who made donations and a lot of people appreciated the idea. In fact, my cousin is getting married this year and has decided to do the same.

dory

I think it's a great idea. You could put something on the invite if you wish, or just get the word out yourself. I don't think anyone would have a problem with that.

poppet1

Cathmandooo wrote: »

I'm not fond of the idea. It's very noble but I don't like the idea of anything gift related being mentioned in the invitation. You're inviting them to come celebrate your big day with you (or in your case the evening). It should be their choice whether they give anything or not.

If they give you a cash gift then you can go donate it to a charity of your choice but I wouldn't be announcing that. It's not a fundraising event and surely knowing yourselves that the money is being put to a good cause is enough?

Just my 2c anyway.

I understand what you are saying and I too feel weird about asking for presents as if we are presuming that people will be splashing the cash for our celebration. But we were thinking of doing an 'info booklet' to go with the invitations like baby and crumble mentioned. We would give directions to the venue and suggestions of places to stay for people who are travelling and we could mention it there. We are having a civil ceremony that will be pretty non-traditional so it might work that way but we could also just put the word out and let people decide for themselves like other posters mentioned..

baby and crumble

If you are looking at info booklet and non traditional ways of getting information out there, i'd recommend off beat bride- we're getting huge amounts of inspiration from there.

Cathmandooo

poppet1 wrote: »

I understand what you are saying and I too feel weird about asking for presents as if we are presuming that people will be splashing the cash for our celebration. But we were thinking of doing an 'info booklet' to go with the invitations like baby and crumble mentioned. We would give directions to the venue and suggestions of places to stay for people who are travelling and we could mention it there. We are having a civil ceremony that will be pretty non-traditional so it might work that way but we could also just put the word out and let people decide for themselves like other posters mentioned..

I'd just spread the word then, nobody would mind it being suggested when they've specifically asked what you would like (or asked relatives what they think you'd both like).

But honestly the idea itself is very lovely and generous, your heart is in the right place!

kittex

It's normal to put your gift registry dteails on the wedding invite. So it's acceptable to say "In place of a gift registry the bride and groom request that donations be made to..."

I've had at least 2 wedding invites that state this. Was no issue at all.

I wouldn't rely on word of mouth as people may feel it's not 100% rock solid and just someone's opinion then feel weird facing you without a gift. It is your wedding, so you should communicate what you want directly without any worry.

It's a lovely thing to do - good for you.

kittex

kittex wrote: »

It's normal to put your gift registry dteails on the wedding invite. ...............

Wouldn't be considered normal to me.

groovyg

kittex wrote: »

It's normal to put your gift registry dteails on the wedding invite. So it's acceptable to say "In place of a gift registry the bride and groom request that donations be made to..."
I've had at least 2 wedding invites that state this. Was no issue at all.
I wouldn't rely on word of mouth as people may feel it's not 100% rock solid and just someone's opinion then feel weird facing you without a gift. It is your wedding, so you should communicate what you want directly without any worry.
It's a lovely thing to do - good for you.

+1 I have had the same where couples have put a wedding list of things they want from a particular shop and you buy them a gift from there.
Arnotts and BTs and other stores offer this kind of service.
A friend of mine got married a few years ago and asked people if they intended to buy gifts to make a donation to a particular charity they had chosen. Like you they both had been living together, had their own home and didn't really want people giving them gifts or money.
I don't really understand why people would be offended. Its better to let people know what you want rather than ending up with random stuff you don't need.