Feel judged by friend for taking drugs

LegacyUser

I'm a 24 year old woman, and took MDMA for the first time on Saturday night. It was the only time I've ever done drugs, I trusted the person I got it from, and it was a real 'if I'm ever going to do it I'm doing it now' moment. It felt good but I'm not doing it again. I'm chalking it up to a life experience and leaving it at that.

My problem is- I texted my best friend to tell her I'd taken it, and got what felt like a torrent of abuse back- "what the fcuk are you doing, I've no time for this bull****, you're an idiot"- etc. Rang her tonight to try sort it out and just got the same, she's sticking to what she said- "everyone who does MDMA is an idiot."

The thing is, she did coke a few months ago, and has done pills in the past, so I thought she'd understand. I was there when she did coke and declined it myself. I expressed concern but was in no way harsh with her at the time.

All she made me feel was that I wouldn't go to her if I was in a bad situation. I felt so judged. I'm fully aware of the dangers of drugs, but don't see how one class A drug is different to another. Both could have been cut with anything, and that's the truth of it.

Any advice? I feel quite down about this and just want things to get back to normal with her. Thanks.

gerryk

I don't think you're going to be able to do much to change her opinion. Judgemental people tend to judge. She'll probably get over it in time, but personally, I find double standards, judgementalism and general intolerance difficult to have around.

Assuming you are sure of the purity of the MDMA and do some research on how to properly look after yourself while on it, it's a pretty safe thing to do. Apart from total abstinence, it seems that you behaved in as safe a manner as you could, and I would consider this relatively sensible rather than the actions of an idiot.

Rosy Posy

It sounds like there's a bit more going on here than a simple case of her being judgemental- unless she's comfortable with blatant hypocracy?

not knowing the situation, I might guess that either she had a bad experience when she tried drugs in the past and is trying to discourage you from having similar, or perhaps, since you turned down and expressed concern with her trying drugs in the past, that she's feeling put out that you wouldn't share this experience with her but would try it with other friends? I can't say but you should really sit down with her and try to cut through the abuse to whats really going on for her.

From my experience, when a friend starts taking drugs, the biggest threat to the friendship is that they will want to start hanging out with new druggy 'friends' and neglect their old friendships, maybe this is her concern? If, as you say, this was a one-off you should stress this to her, and reassure her you are still her best friend.

All the best, OP.

xzanti

what the fcuk are you doing, I've no time for this bull****, you're an idiot"

everyone who does MDMA is an idiot

So she knows that there's MDMA in pills right? or at least there's supposed to be.. also when it comes to pills you're never really sure of what you're getting, so she put herself more at risk than you by taking them, technically speaking..

I'd go with what someone else said about there being more to this than her just being judgmental.. If it is as 'cut and dried' as you have outlined it.. then she is just a HUGE hypocrite.. and it could be read as her being jealous that you went out and did these things or went experimenting without her.. maybeeeeeee?

Miss Fluff

Feeljudged wrote: »

The thing is, she did coke a few months ago, and has done pills in the past, so I thought she'd understand. I was there when she did coke and declined it myself. I expressed concern but was in no way harsh with her at the time.

Sounds to me like she's miffed that you experimented without her there and yet turned down her offer of doing some coke with her. Really quite childish of her but she'll get over it.

If on the other hand this is purely do with her objecting to you taking MDMA while she's done it before, that's just hypocisy of the worst order and I'd be calling her up on it

Eve_Dublin

Yep...agreed. Sounds like a dose of envy. You were having the craic without her. Tell her to grow up and stop being such a judgemental hypocrite. And the things she said to you - I don't have any friends who'd speak to me that way. If they were genuinely concerned, they wouldn't call me an "idiot" :eek: With friends like that....

Danniboo

Just wondering what age was your friend when she took drugs? Is she particularly anti-drugs? I do think there's a difference in being young and experimenting than taking drugs as a lifestyle choice, ie every weekend as casually as having a drink.

Oryx

Youve already been given opinions on the cause of her reaction, but you want to get back to normal with her. Why dont you try just doing that? Phone her up as you would normally, dont refer to the drugs issue, just behave like youve always done. If you normally meet up or go out together, ask her to. See how that goes. This issue might still be there, but you need to get things back to a normal standing first.

If she brings up the drugs issue, then say your piece as you said it here, and you can also tell her how you feel about her own drug taking, and how hypocritical you think she is being. But I think that has to be done face to face.

xzanti

Oryx wrote: »

If she brings up the drugs issue, then say your piece as you said it here, and you can also tell her how you feel about her own drug taking, and how hypocritical you think she is being. But I think that has to be done face to face.

+1, and if she persists with the judgmental crap.. show her this thread.

LegacyUser

Feeljudged wrote: »

The thing is, she did coke a few months ago, and has done pills in the past, so I thought she'd understand. I was there when she did coke and declined it myself. I expressed concern but was in no way harsh with her at the time.

1. There is mdma in pills. The powder/crystal form of mdma (presuming its good quality) is alot safer than pills as there is other stuff added to pills.

2. Its proven that MDMA is safer than coke. eg http://g.psychcentral.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/chart1.lrg_.jpg . MDMA in its pure form is relatively harmless compared to coke.

So, i recommend that you show your friend the facts and maybe she wont be so quick to judge.

ButterflyABC

She's being a hypocrite, she took drugs but it's not ok for your to try it too. I think she's totally in the wrong going on what you have told us. It's something you wanted to experience and she might just be annoyed you did it without her.

Overheal

I would smoke pot but I recall once my friend talked about going out to Dublin and doing E with his cousin and I had a very similar reaction. Some of it is hypocrisy, the rest of it is the drug's reputation for lethality: unless you get the dose from a trusted source (And what's trusted in the black market?) it can be cut with basically anything, and/or if synthesized improperly can have serious ramifications.

Another concern associated with MDMA use is toxicity from chemicals other than MDMA in ecstasy tablets. Due to its near-universal illegality, the purity of a substance sold as ecstasy is unknown to the typical user. The MDMA content of tablets varies widely between regions and different brands of pills and fluctuates somewhat each year. Pills may contain other active substances meant to stimulate in a way similar to MDMA, such as amphetamine, methamphetamine, ephedrine, caffeine, all of which may be comparatively cheap to produce and can help to boost overall profits. In some cases, tablets sold as ecstasy do not even contain any MDMA. Instead they may contain an assortment of undesirable drugs and substances, such as paracetamol, ibuprofen, talcum powder, etc.[84]

There have been a number of deaths attributed to para-Methoxyamphetamine (PMA), a potent and highly neurotoxic hallucinogenic amphetamine, being sold as ecstasy.[85][86] PMA is unique in its ability to quickly elevate body temperature and heart rate at relatively low doses, especially in comparison to MDMA. Hence, a user believing he is consuming two 120 mg pills of MDMA could actually be consuming a dose of PMA that is potentially lethal, depending on the purity of the pill. Not only does PMA cause the release of serotonin but it also acts as a monoamine oxidase inhibitor, MAOI. When combined with an MDMA or an MDMA-like substance, serotonin syndrome can result.[87] Combining MAO inhibitors with certain legal prescription and over the counter medications can also lead to (potentially fatal) serotonin syndrome.

One poster mentions MDMA 'in it's pure form', but you have to wonder if that's what you had. And in general terms it isn't always. Similarly I've seen Hash that was cut/baked with dirt and plastic before: while not fatal, that wouldn't have been good at all for someone's lungs.

all of that said though, the MDMA issue was an extremely brief footnote between me and my friend, and we didn't speak about it much after that; we carried on to chum as we always did.

calex71

When did the kids stop calling them E's

Anyway, she did coke ? I'm sure that was pure china white and had no rat poison in it what so ever

Sounds like she learned a lesson at some point and is inflicting that on you OP either that or she truly is a hypocrite

I'm anti-drug for what it's worth but if a pal decides to use what ever thats fine just not in my company.