Male opinion needed!

Poco Loco

Hi guys,

Not a big dilemma compared to most on here but would really like to get some perspective on something.

Have met a guy who I like very much - it's exceptionally early days (2 dates?) but seems to potentially be something good. It's been a while since I met someone who got under my skin like he has and he seems to be quite taken by me too.

So I guess all I would like to know is how long do you wait before sleeping with someone??

I like this guy very much and don't want to jeopardise it at all BUT at the same time the chemistry is amazing on top of everything else so I'm afraid if the opportunity presents itself, I will find it hard to resist. So trying to put a bit of perspective on it....maybe I'm worrying about nothing!

you are overthinking it
just do it when you want to

if he thinks worse of you for it, he wasn't that great to begin with

LovelyLottie

Why do you need a male opinion on it?! Go with your own opinion.

If you really like the guy, just go with what you feel comfortable with. If he really likes you he will want to keep seeing you until it happens naturally.

Sometimes if you wait a bit before sleeping with someone you can weed out the ones who are only looking for something casual. But not always. Just because he waits for a month or so (or whatever length of time) doesn't automatically mean that he's a keeper. Go with what you feel comfortable with, and see what happens naturally.

'The Rules' don't always work - i've tried them!

Miss Fluff

Start imposing rules and norms and you're going to wreck your own head. This nonsense of phoning after three days and sleeping with someone after so many dates. It's contrived and won't actually make one jot of difference if the person in question actually is or is not interested! Go with your instinct, do what feels right at the time. And if as Bluewolf very rightly says someone sees you as "easy" (:rolleyes:) because you've decided you want to sleep with them before you ought to - they are in fact a loser and you've had a lucky escape hon! By the same token if you're not sure don't feel pressurised because you've had a certain amount of dates you ought to be getting juiggy with it. See what unfolds and if and when the opportunity presents itself and you're happy with it then go for it, whenever that may be

darraghdoyle

What everyone else has said - do it when it feels right, but I think it's important to stress that safe sex is not something you should compromise on - if he respects you enough to sleep with you (I know there's an oxymoron there but at the same time, if he likes you for you and not just for your body, then great), he should respect you enough to wear a condom.

Guys will never turn down sex, but he also shouldn't turn you down for not wanting it. There's other ways and means of having fun too...

Good luck with it

solarsystem

Hi OP,
When my wife and I went on our first date ten years ago the chemistry was just right. We didn't quite manage to get it on on that first Sunday night, but we sure made up for that on Monday night! 36 hours after we first 'stepped out together', we were between the sheets. We've never looked back. We got married two years ago and are expecting our first child any day now.

Don't waste this opportunity. Never take passion for granted. The sad reality is that most people live dull passionless lives. Even where there is passion, it can die out in the blink of an eye. Enjoy it while you are lucky enough to feel it.

The early part of a relationship is the best; enjoy every inch of it.

In short, hit those sheets quick!

Mickey Dazzler

Honestly from a male prospective as long as you don't sleep with him on the first date you're fine.

Poco Loco

Thanks everyone, very reassuring opinions there! And very true - I am an overthinker! Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read and reply.

I am a friend

poco loco, I think it depends on yourself. I am not great for compartmentalising sex and feelings so its alway better for me to wait a while to ensure the guy feels as i do, so as not to get over invested and hurt (if possible)... If you would be upset if he walked away after you slept with him then dont rush into it. If you think you can handle it then work away.