Strong Mutual Attraction To Girl In Relationship With A Mate

Jordo141

Hey guys... hoping for a bit of advice here.

So basically... I met this girl a while back because she is one of my mate's girlfriend. While I have been in relationships based off infatuation before, I have never been in a serious relationship before (19 years old).

Well anyway after we met we really clicked; we have the same interests, mutual philosophies so forth... Basically I think this girl is the one. I'm pretty sure she feels the same towards me. I believe this through the body language and how she talks to me about really personal stuff; except... relationship stuff. Basically she thinks of me uniquely from all the other guys in her life. We have met up loads of times and same story...

Normally if she were single, I would have no problem about telling my feelings for each other... but she is in a relationship with a really sound guy whom I respect greatly... Basically I don't know weather to tell how I feel... with the possibility of winning her over but ruining a friendship... or waiting... and hoping for her to become single.

Any advice?

floorpie

She's not the one, she doesn't necessarily feel the same way, move onwards and upwards. It'll only be one giant headache.

Whatever you decide to do, don't reveal your feelings thinking that it'll win her over.

Jordo141

I guess that's true. I'm not in any real position to impact other peoples relationships.

floorpie

Jordo141 wrote: »

I guess that's true. I'm not in any real position to impact other peoples relationships.

In what sense? If you mean what i think, that's why i'm saying not to reveal feelings, because the chances of her running off with you into the sunset are slim. It'd be more likely that you'd just regret saying it, in terms of your friendship with her, friendship with your peers etc.

You can learn from it though, e.g. if you find that having the same interests is an important factor in the attraction, you can keep your feelers out for people who also have similar interests.

gypsy_rose

Bide your time and see what happens. Be good to her and show her that you are reliable and a trustworthy friend, maybe something will develop

LovelyLottie

I'd say don't go there.

If they break up, then feel free to tell her how you feel. But he's a friend and she's his girlfriend.

I don't mean to sound patronising, but at the age of 19 you can think someone is 'the one' quite easily. If she really is the one, their relationship won't last and you can swoop in. For the moment, don't go there.

Arpa

LovelyLottie wrote: »

I'd say don't go there.

If they break up, then feel free to tell her how you feel. But he's a friend and she's his girlfriend.

I don't mean to sound patronising, but at the age of 19 you can think someone is 'the one' quite easily. If she really is the one, their relationship won't last and you can swoop in. For the moment, don't go there.

I was 19, and in a similar situation, was crazy about one of my best friends gf. We had exactly the same interests, could talk for hours on topics no other girl could discuss. She even told me she preferred our conversations to her conversation with her bf. In fact I was pretty certain we would be together if she wasn't with this guy. It seemed like it was fate...anyway my impatience go the better of me and after a few too many drinks one night stupidly I made a move on her. on reflection it was a cruel, evil thing to do, especially as this guy considered me a mate. I have hated myself ever since for it. Anyway that night when I made a move at first she kissed me and imagined we would sail off into the sunset together...but she pulled away and eventually she rejected me....bang...there goes my chances with her...and I lost a mate too...he didn't find out, but I could never look him in the eye again...

OP it's not worth the heartache...just leave it...find someone else.

I am a friend

You are only starting out with girls and, at 19, have many years ahead. Dont start off treating girls and friends like this as its best to start off your romantic life with integrity and honesty. You wont do yourself any favours if you go after her.

Another thing to consider is the value you put on yourself. You deserve more than a girl who is willing to cheat on her boyfriend to be with you. That shows she is capable of cheating and Im sure you want more from any partner than that.

DOBBER112

Simply put if you interfere its only a disaster waiting to happen. Beware of the karma fairy my friend as she has a habbit of coming full circle and biting you in the ass further down the road.
Be patient, you're a young lad with plenty of time to find "the one" if its her then sit back and wait as whats for you won't pass you by.

Good luck kid

That is all...

Missy Moo Moo

Theres always an element of being attracted to "forbidden fruit", something we're all guilty of at one time or another. If you make a play for her, one of two things will happen. She will reject you, tell her boyfriend, friendship over. She will dump him, get with you, friendship over. You'll be both plagued by guilt, which may taint the relationship.

Leave it be, plenty of other women out there. If you're really meant to be, let them split up of their own accord and see what happens in the future. By no means should you wait around for her, or even for them to break up.

You're 19, you'll meet plenty of other girls like her and better!