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Recent Split - Boyfriend still texts me

  • 20-01-2012 1:47pm
    #1
    caratt1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10 ✭


    hey,

    I was going to post a similar topic but maybe it's better if I join in on this one as it is virtually the same, I'm not trying to deflect it away from you but our stories are so alike maybe it will help you also.

    I was with my boyfriend for many years and then suddenly after a heated argument he decided he needed time and space to do his own thing. Like you I pleaded with him to not break up but he was sure it was what he wanted. I'm not sure if it was just him saying that because he was angry or if he meant it, I often say stuff I don't mean when I'm angry. So I decided to give him his space.

    That was a few days ago. He has since text me roughly 6-7 times asking how I was and that, I've only replied to 2. Again it's not to be nasty but he broke up with me so why should I respond to his every text as if nothing happened. The last message we communicated in was me telling him I needed my space to get on with my life. He hasn't responded since, maybe it's because he's mad now that I'm not pleading with him anymore or maybe it's because he truly wants to move on.

    I don't want it to be over but I feel like if I reply to all of his message's telling him how much I miss him or am eager to speak with him he will always know I am there as a second option, as a fall back.

    I'm not sure what the best way to approach this is? We've broken up before but we do love each other.


Comments

  • #2
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    OP - we have given you your own thread for your issue.

    Taltos


  • #3
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    OP, he asked for some space - you're giving him space. If he is annoyed that you're not replying to him well you just have to say that it was him who wanted the space so you are giving him that now.

    I find it sad that you think his reason for texting you so much is an ego-boost for him rather than he misses you and is concerned for you.


  • #4
    Missy Moo Moo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 238 ✭✭Missy Moo Moo


    tinkerbell wrote: »
    I find it sad that you think his reason for texting you so much is an ego-boost for him rather than he misses you and is concerned for you.

    Why is this sad? Yes, its possible that the OP's ex misses her and is concerned for her, but to be fair, he did finish with her and said he needed his space. He can't have it every which way and its not fair to text her and mess with her head just to ease his own guilt/ missing her, etc. He made his decision so he needs to work through it himself.

    OP, for what its worth, you absolutely did the right thing telling him you needed space to get on with your own life. Maybe it will make him realise he misses you. Maybe it won't. Either way, you'll win, as by cutting contact you'll have moved on with your life and won't be analysing every text thats sent to you. Whats that saying, if you love somebody, set them free, if they love you they'll come back, if they don't, they were never yours in the first place.

    Maybe he didn't text back because hes respecting your need for space but I do feel he could have done the decent thing and acknowledged your need for space and that he understood. Either way, OP, you handled it well so hold your head up high.


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