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30th Birthday Card

  • 17-01-2012 10:21pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,381 ✭✭✭✭


    So, a work colleague is 30 this week and there's a card being passed around. What should i write in it? Something funny and mildly abusive/aggressive would be great!


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,070 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL




  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    "Happy Birthday, you ugly, fat cunt."


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭Praetorian Saighdiuir


    Happy Birthday cocknose, sorry for pissing in the water cooler/coffee machine/favourite cup for the last few months.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,564 ✭✭✭✭whiskeyman


    Something funny and mildly abusive/aggressive would be great!

    Why did the dead chicken cross the road?
    To get to the other side of course you stupid dickface!
    Yeah, you suck monkey balls!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,030 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    You're dead.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    "What happened at the Christmas party is our little secret. Happy bday"


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    Merry christmas,subtle enough to offend by expressing the lack of knowledge of the person/event.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,663 ✭✭✭Immaculate Pasta


    If it was me personally, now this might just be me so my suggestion might be bat shit crazy to you but my message would involve wishing the person a Happy Birthday of some sort and wishing they have a good day. Also considering the birthday is somewhat of a milestone I would probably acknowledge that in the birthday message as well. I would also finish the message by writing my name so the reader will know who wrote it. Now this is just me mind :cool:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    'go fuck yourself'


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,332 ✭✭✭Guill


    Write:

    Most people in your condition die at 60, happy Midlife!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 901 ✭✭✭ChunkyLover_53


    pmcmahon wrote: »
    Merry christmas,subtle enough to offend by expressing the lack of knowledge of the person/event.

    Also "Sorry to hear you're leaving, best of luck in the new job."


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Wetai




  • Closed Accounts Posts: 901 ✭✭✭ChunkyLover_53


    "I posted a video of you on meatspin.com. Enjoy!"


    (NSFW!!!! BTW)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,059 ✭✭✭Sindri


    Ask them for money?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 810 ✭✭✭Fear Uladh


    "You can't emigrate now!"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,438 ✭✭✭✭El Guapo!


    "I've been rubbing your computer mouse on my sack everyday for years. xxx"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    "In gay years, you are 60 years old"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    "Note to self: Pick up suit from dry cleaners on way home.

    or a message to the birthday boy
    " Happy Birthday, I'm having sex with your wife"
    That covers salutations and mildly abusive.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,596 ✭✭✭hairyslug


    Been great working with ya, shame to see you leave


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,089 ✭✭✭marketty


    Tis better to be over the hill than buried under it


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,543 ✭✭✭JerryHandbag


    'Happy birthday, smurf penis'


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,415 ✭✭✭Archeron


    You dont have to write anything, a well placed pickled onion can liven up any greetings card.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 864 ✭✭✭Kxiii


    Sorry for you loss.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 969 ✭✭✭some random drunk


    "Happy 50th Birthday!!!"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,783 ✭✭✭Hank_Jones


    Your internet is being monitored.

    Just so you know, this is me blackmailing you.

    Oh, Happy Birthday.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    Happy Birthday...hope its your last.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,808 ✭✭✭FatherLen


    just spell their name wrong. its subtle but effective.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,288 ✭✭✭✭Standard Toaster


    "Happy birthday Jim." should cover it.


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