Thinking of having kids but find the future a bit scary

Ironmaiden11

A few of my friends got pregnant recently so naturally I ran the thought through my head. But when I read about over population issues I become very hesitant. It looks like humans are growing in numbers- I guess mostly from developing countries- and most theories say the world won't have the resources to sustain us. That won't occur immediately but based on studies it looks likely. This puts me off having kids. Perhaps natural disasters will modify population growth, who knows.
It's a bit scary for me. Does anyone else think about things like this?

curlzy

Yeah I do sometimes. But if you live your life based on "what ifs" you gonna be sickened at the end of the day. For example:

I won't go on that amazing holiday in case the plane blows up.
I won't go to that brilliant football match in case there's hooligans at it.
I won't have kids because the world is going to be going into an ice age soon.
etc etc etc.

At the end of the day OP if you live your life like that you're gonna hit 80 years of age and look back on a long boring life of fear, missed opportunities and loneliness. Better off looking on the bright side. People have been prophesising the end of the world for centuries and it hasn't happened yet. Like you can worry about **** happening but at the end of the day it's gonna happen anyways, worrying won't change it, you can only life your life to the fullest and enjoy every minute as much as you can.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Yes, absolutely. But have gone ahead and now pregnant with first :-)

The way I see it, small families are ok. Even the Chinese have now mostly accepted that two kids per family are ok, as many people won't want or have children. Also do you want to leave the future in the hands of those who reproduce mindlessly? Of course, there are also lots of other ways to contribute, but my desire to have children was very strong... and I really believe that if everyone currently alive was responsible enough to keep their families small, we would be ok.

LegacyUser

Why not adopt? If your concern is over population why not raise ones that are already in this world that need loving homes? My reasons of not having children was based out of fear of pregnancy not overpopulation. Since I wanted children and did not want to have them I fostered then adopted 4. The best decision I ever made. There are so many children in this world that need a second chance.

Ironmaiden11

Hi. Thanks for the help. I hear what you are saying about everyone ideally being responsible but that is simply not the case. In many cultures women have 6,8,10 kids and sometimes even they +/- partner want that and are not bothered about thinking responsibly. What THEY want is the most important issue.
But still the world population is rising to an unsustainable level thanks to irresponsible people and lack of policy on these things and of course lack of female rights, cultural dependency on man and lack of access to contraception in some places and in many religions/ churches. In some of these religions they are instructed to reproduce as much as possible to populate the world with their own "type". That's kind of frightening because if everyone had that attitude things would be even worse.
Anyhow whether there will be enough resources for the next generation or the one after we will see.
I think adoption is a good way around that. Isn't it difficult to adopt these days and expensive too? I presume you have to be married etc to start the process. Where do Irish people adopt from these days?
Thanks for the advice

lazygal

Adoption is not an easy solution. Its a long, difficult and traumatic process. A friend of a friend recently adopted a baby from Mexico and it took five years. She and her husband had countless interviews, questionnaires and the whole process really affected their marriage financially and emotionally.

OP, I think you are over thinking this. Do you actually want to have children? Do you want to be a parent? I'm pregnant and tbh we started trying for a baby because we wanted our family and to have the joy that comes with raising a child. Some might say that's selfish, which it is a bit, but there's also the biological urge which is so strong no amount of thinking about population statistics and international geopolitical events can change it. I want to be a mum, end of.

Now, if you'd asked me ten years ago I probably would have been as analytical as you, thinking about the whole big picture and questioning why all the time. Then I me the right partner for me and we knew we'd have a family. I was very lucky to get pregnant naturally and I can't describe the joy of carrying a baby, its the most amazing feeling. Don't miss out on it because some women in a country you've never been too aren't as fortunate as us in the west.

Ironmaiden11

Maybe you are right. I'd just like to feel that the world will be able to support future generations. But perhaps a new energy source will be discovered and technology will allow us all to have enough of everything. And maybe global population will level off eventually- due to progress, access to contraception, economic forces ? Natural disasters. Who knows?

It would be great if the world had infinite resources and maybe it can ( I'm not a physicist) and people could do what their hearts desired but from what I read I think that's not the case. I wonder what will happen in the end.
But Ireland is not contributing majorly to the problem as far as I'm aware of birth rates.
Anyway that enough of this fatalistic talk. Itll be grand for a while anyhow and being a parent should be lovely.
I'm hoping you are right and everything will be ok. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.