Hard to get?

budweiser90

I have been seeing this guy for the last few weeks. It started out as just sex but I started getting attached to him. He was telling me how much he missed me, he even picked up on my habits. Now I took everything he said with a pinch of salt. Anyway about halfway through he stopped texting me, so I assumed we were done and didnt text him back.

Then I saw him in a club over the xmas and he was all over me. Asked me back to his but I refused. Anyway he started texting me again and ringing me, telling me how much of a ****head he was. I accepted his apology.

Anyway we started texting back and forth again. We then met up and I asked him what was going on between us and he said he would make more of an effort and he was still interested.

Fast forward till now and he's been distancing himself again. I'm fairly certain I have to end it before I make myself feel worse. Anyway my question is if I didnt sleep with him straight away could I have changed things for the better.

Did I come across as easy or is this something I have no control over? I am no way a clingy person, he was the one who initiated everything at the start. I would just text him back whenever I could. Sorry for the long rant guys just need to vent. I am trying to study but it is not happening he has been on my mind the last few days. Does every good relationship have go by "hard to get" at the start. Am I doing things wrong?

LovelyLottie

No, every good relationship doesn't start off by the girl playing hard to get.

I had a lovely 1.5 year relationship which started off with us sleeping together the second time we met.

In my last relationship, i was very cautious and tried not to get too close too soon, and it didn't work out.

I think because your 'relationship' started out as just sex and not an actual relationship, that's what he thought you wanted. If you're using sex initially to get a guy interested, and hope that it'll develop into a relationship i'd discontinue this tactic! (Not sure if you are, but just in case you are).

I've no idea if you came across as easy, but you probably came across as someone who just wanted sex. If that's what you want, continue as before. If that's not what you want, hold off on having sex for a while until you know that he's looking for a relationship too.

Good luck.

IrishEyes19

Im sure there is the exception, but Ive yet to see one. In my opinion, OP, the moment you start game playing by playing hard to get or sitting at home wondering why he hasnt texted in weeks, yet some random night at 1am and 4 vodka's later he is delcaring how sorry he is and how much you mean to him.......that is when you need to pull away.

from my own experience, I wish I had ended it from the first warning signs, the fact is, you've shown good restraint and respect for yourself by not going home with him that night, but getting back texting him later is just giving him the wrong idea. Im not going to tar this guy with the same brush as others, but I really do believe if he liked you romantically and respected you, he would be treading on egg shells not to displease you or at least treat you the way you should be treated. Instead he has realised that you do want to be treated properly, however if he says sorry and makes false promises, you will forgive him.

you are obviously intelligent, hence why you are questioning his motives, but there is nothing to lose by telling him where to go and your reasons for it. Considering he hasnt put anything worthy on the table realtionship wise anyway, end it and stick to your guns. If he truly respects you and this goes for man and woman, he will treat you properly. But its up to you.

You cant force someone to commit. But you can decide who to let into your life and how they affect you. So far this guy has not delivered on anything. I would end it. good luck