Slept with Flatmate

LegacyUser

I'm a university student sharing a place with 4 others, 2 boys and 2 girls. We all get along great and I've always gotten along especially well with one of the lads, lets call him John.

A few months ago when we were all out on a night out, we got a bit tipsy and John and I ended up kissing. We just laughed it off the next morning but it happened again a few weeks later. Then a couple of weeks ago we got very drunk and ended up sleeping together.

We've since spoken about it and agreed that it was just a drunken mistake and that it shouldn't happen again, especially as we don't want there to be an uncomfortable atmosphere in the house. The problem is, I think I want it to happen again!

I've always been attracted to him (he's very good-looking) and he's so lovely, and I think I'm really starting to like him. I'm fairly certain he doesn't feel the same way though. I know as well that it's not worth it, as I don't want things to be awkward and I really don't want to lose him as a friend, yet I can't help but wish differently.

I know that it's not a good idea and that he doesn't want to get involved, but I don't really trust myself. I'm afraid that if we go out on a night out together again then I'll be trying to get with him, and he's the kind of lad who's very fond of the shift when he's drunk so I don't think he'd say no!
I don't know what to do, I can't stop thinking about this.

Ickle Magoo

Getting involved with flatmates on a casual basis can work if neither of you are interested in it going any further and you are both very easy going...if, however, either falls for the other as you seem to be falling for him then having to witness/possibly hear him with other women, the added stress and over-involvement in immediately living with someone you are romantically involved with, dealing with the aftermath of any awkward fall out and the embarrassment factor/difficulty of trying to move on while seeing the guy every single day is just not worth it the vast majority of the time.

If you are interested in pursuing this then I'd definitely advise you to find a new flat first.

All the best.

LegacyUser

Thanks for your advice.

The problem is that yes, I think I am actually starting to fall for him and to think of him as bf material, and as you both say I don't think I'd be able to keep it casual.. and I'm pretty sure that's all he'd ever want! Just don't really trust myself ariund him if we've been drinking..

I think I'm going to have to try and forget about it, no matter how hard that may be living in such close proximity with him. Though even now the thought of him being with someone else bothers me a bit! This won't be easy!

Oh, and enjoy your time in college - they were seriously the best three years of my life

I'll certainly try, just hope that my remaining time in college won't be as messy as this!

LegacyUser

Well, in fairness OP, we're in mid-January. I assume you'll be moving out in May/June so I wouldn't worry about it. You two won't be flat mates forever, so just do whatever you want