Is marriage for you?

MagicSean

My own personal view is that I will be getting married for tax and pension purposes as well as rights to any future children. I was going to get a civil partnership but I can't because of my sexual orientation. If I could stay co-habiting and get the same rights with my partner I would. I will not be going to a church but I will probably have a bit of a shindig in a hotel.

So what is your view? For what reason and how will you, or did you, get married?

The Hill Billy

Because I love my wife.

Logical Fallacy

MagicSean wrote: »

My own personal view is that I will be getting married for tax and pension purposes as well as rights to any future children. I was going to get a civil partnership but I can't because of my sexual orientation. If I could stay co-habiting and get the same rights with my partner I would. I will not be going to a church but I will probably have a bit of a shindig in a hotel.

So what is your view? For what reason and how will you, or did you, get married?

"We have been together for a while now, and i think you are a suitable candidate with regard to tax and pension benefits, and i would like to ensure some degree of security with regard to my relationship with possible children in the event of divorce....so will you marry me?"

Romantic.

Joe10000

The Hill Billy wrote: »

Because I love my wife.

Come on now keep this serious.

MagicSean

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

"We have been together for a while now, and i think you are a suitable candidate with regard to tax and pension benefits, and i would like to ensure some degree of security with regard to my relationship with possible children in the event of divorce....so will you marry me?"

Romantic.

I have no need to prove my love with a meaningless ceremony.

Logical Fallacy

MagicSean wrote: »

I have no need to prove my love with a meaningless ceremony.

Not saying you do , or should.

I am saying that loving someone is the reason you will marry them.

FatherLen

i have no feelings towards it. if i meet someone i want to marry and she wants it to be a church wedding then so be it but i couldnt care less.

MagicSean

FatherLen wrote: »

i have no feelings towards it. if i meet someone i want to marry and she wants it to be a church wedding then so be it but i couldnt care less.

I'd say that falls under option 2

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

Not saying you do , or should.

I am saying that loving someone is the reason you will marry them.

Loving her is why I want to be with her. Joint assessment is why I want to be married.

niamhx

I've been with my partner 20 yrs (I was 13 when we met), we've never felt there was a reason to get married. We've kids, a mortgage, he's secure that if anything did happen to our relationship, I'd never get between him and our children. Tax reasons would be the last reason we'd ever consider getting married.
Maybe one day we'll get bored and do it....doubt it though ! I've just no interest in proclaiming my love to him in front of anyone.
So no, marriage isn't for me

Sindri

You only marry someone if you want to stop having sex.

Buy a cigar cutter, it's cheaper!

FatherLen

Sindri wrote: »

You only marry someone if you want to stop having sex.

Buy a cigar cutter, it's cheaper!

Sindri wrote: »

You only marry someone if you want to stop having sex.

Buy a cigar cutter, it's cheaper!

Sindri wrote: »

You only get married if you want to stop having sex.

Buy a cigar cutter, it's cheaper.

Sindri wrote: »

You only get married if you want to stop having sex.

Buy a cigar cutter, it's cheaper.

ah now come on

starviewadams

Nah,would never trust any woman enough to bother going through all that shíte.

niamhx

Sindri wrote: »

You only get married if you want to stop having sex.

Buy a cigar cutter, it's cheaper.

Poor fecker, OCD ?? Or are you just that stupid !!

Robdude

Getting married was the stupidest financial decision I ever made.

stovelid

It's provides more of a solid emotional and legal framework in which to fart putridly n shared relationship spaces.

Sindri

niamhx wrote: »

Poor fecker, OCD ?? Or are you just that stupid !!

Internet is ****ed and when I posted it didn't load the page so I kept reloading.:o

Napper Hawkins

Don't do it.

ElleEm

I really want to get married.
I've been with my partner for six years now, and love the idea of being his wife.
There is just something so solid about it.
I see marriage as being for life, so when we make that decision to marry, we will do it intending to be together forever. That feels really special to me.

Yahew

I take the "Not getting married" pollsters with pinch of salt. Heard that so often from singleton friends of mine, who then would appear with a new gf ( or bf), disappear off the planet for a while, and next thing a day out for us all.

Logical Fallacy

MagicSean wrote: »

Loving her is why I want to be with her. Joint assessment is why I want to be married.

So would you marry someone you didn't love for joint assessment?

Edit : Poll wise we are doing the Registry Office followed by a shindig. Should be fun.

dvpower

MagicSean wrote: »

I was going to get a civil partnership but I can't because of my sexual orientation.

Out of interest, what are the advantages of civil partnership over marriage?

niamhx

Sindri wrote: »

niamhx wrote: »

Poor fecker, OCD ?? Or are you just that stupid !!

Internet is ****ed and when I posted it didn't load the page so I kept reloading.:o

Yep just stupid, kinda like the statement you made !

Sindri

niamhx wrote: »

Yep just stupid, kinda like the statement you made !

OK...

Please don't hurt me.

Haha this must be what marriage is like!

Freddie59

MagicSean wrote: »

I have no need to prove my love with a meaningless ceremony.

Far from meaningless IMHO. Each to their own.

Killer Pigeon

Love, pfft. Love makes me sick.

Galwayguy35

Yeah i would like to be married when the right person comes along.

The Jammy dodger

There should be an option: ''Got married in a civil ceremony and received a blessing upon our marriage from Catholic priest afterwards'' as some people do this.

NiCiarain

Although the expense of the ceremony is a turn off I would chose to get married. Besides the loving someone aspect & the security aspect, its just to most socially acceptable thing to do.

And I have a serious hate for the the term "my partner" *shudder*

Lia_lia

Doubt it. Grown up seeing marriages failing all around me. My parents never got married, and rightly so!

saa

Civil marraige is symbolic, I have no problem with a ritual and a party to celebrate the rest of your life together, for me it will be about us and taking time out to travel and reflect on our relationship as we become a family.

I could have a family and set up house without doing the ceremony but I think I will make it legal but its not the be all end all I could live the rest of my life being engaged.

Ryuken

Happily married man here, I love my wife more than life. Sorry to disappoint the cynics.

amacca

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

Love, pfft. Love makes me sick.

what was his/her name?

(I kinda like the idea of marriage if the person feels the same way about me as I do about them)

Sleepy

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

Poll wise we are doing the Registry Office followed by a shindig. Should be fun.

Congrats on the engagement.

Myself and my fiancée are going the civil wedding too. Would've been the "never getting married" type myself until I met my partner.

tashiusclay

Ryuken wrote: »

Happily married man here, I love my wife more than life. Sorry to disappoint the cynics.

And to each their own

Princess Peach

I'm either having a Nintendo or a Beetlejuice theme wedding. Probably in Vegas. I like things to be funny.

I want to be married but not into the idea of a big fussy wedding, its just not me.

whatdoicare

I clicked civil ceremony with party but what we actually had was a celtic blessing in a castle :P Great time had by all! Marriage still going strong!

hatrickpatrick

If misandrist divorce laws are ever reformed, absolutely.
As it stands, I won't sign a contract which gives the other party all the cards should either of us decide to terminate it early. It's completely bonkers.

Kojak

No way in hell I am getting married at all. Marriage is just a sure fire way to loose your money.

Babybuff

I can understand why people want to get married and for all the right reasons and think it's great when someone meets "the one" to do that with. I'm just not the marrying kind, not because I don't want to but I don't think I was born to and never felt inclined to. I'm going to be like your old spinster aunt who never married. It's weird, been told several times before I would have made a good nun.. by nuns. and psychic's. They've been telling me that since I was little.

Dudess

MagicSean wrote: »

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

"We have been together for a while now, and i think you are a suitable candidate with regard to tax and pension benefits, and i would like to ensure some degree of security with regard to my relationship with possible children in the event of divorce....so will you marry me?"

Romantic.

I have no need to prove my love with a meaningless ceremony.

Well I think that's his point.

uch

I got married, Full Stop.

Bullchomper

Got engaged, then got vacant, like a public toilet, so to me marriage means ****.

jay phelan

I like the idea of marriage and what it stands for I would like to see myself married in the future. I don't think it's a necessity. Many couples I know have been together for years and are doing fine without a piece of paper.

Temptamperu

Nah its not for me and the current girlfriend is divorced so she dosent want it either

LighterGuy

If I was to get married I could see it being a smaller service.
I just wouldnt trust alot of people who were invited to actually accept the invitation (bar family of course) ... I would expect alot of "ahhh sorry i really wish i could come, i genuinely mean that, its just XXXX"

grenache

Marriage? I'm not one to put all in my eggs in the same basket, and i don't intend to start doing it anytime soon.

Partners is the way to go.

later12

Don't believe in love as some mysterious or unique force, I certainly don't believe in marriage as anything but a tax arrangement and next of kin rights.

In an ideal world, a marriage would only operate on a temporary basis; ie a 'lease' of conjugality that automatically expires if not renewed. I know couples in their 60s whose relationship is effectively over (in terms of passion and attachment) when their kids have grown; but whose marriage survives because they believe they need a better excuse to go through the hassle of divorce.

smallBiscuit

To all the people who are with someone but said no to marriage .....

The purpose of a marriage (whether civil or church) is to proclaim before the world. I love this person, this is the person I want to spent the rest of my life with. He/She and no other, come what may. It is a further commitment, regardless of how committed you already are

Have a read of the wikipedia article on marriage vows. Look at the example vows. Ignore the religious references (or not, your choice)
The Traditional Roman Catholics Vows:

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life

English Vows
Groom: I,____, take thee,_____, to my lawful wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.
Bride: I,_____, take thee,_____, to my lawful wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey*, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

You are declaring in front of witnesses I love this person. I feel sorry for people who don't see that.

*I think the obey part can be ignored

MagicSean

smallBiscuit wrote: »

To all the people who are with someone but said no to marriage .....

The purpose of a marriage (whether civil or church) is to proclaim before the world. I love this person, this is the person I want to spent the rest of my life with. He/She and no other, come what may. It is a further commitment, regardless of how committed you already are

Have a read of the wikipedia article on marriage vows. Look at the example vows. Ignore the religious references (or not, your choice)
The Traditional Roman Catholics Vows:

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life

English Vows
Groom: I,____, take thee,_____, to my lawful wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.
Bride: I,_____, take thee,_____, to my lawful wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey*, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

You are declaring in front of witnesses I love this person. I feel sorry for people who don't see that.

*I think the obey part can be ignored

I think out joint martgage tells the world that. It's much more binding than a marriage.

Well, call me the last romantic left in AH then

ah no, but i do like the idea of it

later12

smallBiscuit wrote: »

You are declaring in front of witnesses I love this person. I feel sorry for people who don't see that

Why do you 'feel sorry' for someone like that.

I don't want to marry and I have no desire for your pity. Whatever I feel for a woman with whom I share a relationship is between her and I alone. Any of our friends or family can observe what the other means to us through how we treat one another in our real lives, not in the wearing of some gaudy wedding attire for one day of our lives and swapping jewellery.

I have no problem with people who want a marriage ceremony; I don't 'feel sorry' for them, I respect their difference of taste or opinion as something that I shouldn't dwell on, because frankly it's none of my business.

I suggest you ought to learn some respect for other people who don't share your opinion of marriage ceremonies too.