Getting over what I didn't have proving a bit harder that I thought...

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

This isn't exactly the most dramatic problem or whatever but I am just a bit lost and confused and struggling to move on.

In a nutshell I met a guy a few weeks back, we hit it off at the beginning, and as it continued we got on even better and better. We had a few dates and were talking on the phone/texting a good bit, he had told me a bit beforehand that he really liked me, etc and as time went on I was really beginning to fall for him, like the first guy I had ever clicked so well with in almost 4 years.

Then suddenly out of nowhere there has been no contact from his side, not answering my calls or texts, I haven't exactly been pushy or whatever (because I don't want to be) but although I have accepted that nothing is going to happen, I am kind of struggling to move on from this because things were going so well and I haven't heard a thing now in about 2 weeks. Also this guy has some of my things which I want to get back, my last message was asking if he could send them on and of course no reply. Do I just let time pass and put it down to experience?

Miss Fluff

Aww of course you are disappointed, especially when you are enjoying someone's company and they seem to be equally keen.

Unless you're referring to family heirlooms and you merely left "stuff" there then I would just let it slide and forget about it. Delete his number and don't give it any more thought.

I will tell you something for sure though. I can absolutely GUARANTEE he will be in touch again. Not now, probably in a few months time or very randomly and when you least expect it. In my lengthy dating experience (;)) the "Mysteriously Disappearing Numpty" has a habit of reappearing and being really persistent. They are a law onto themselves and by not "finishing" with you he is merely keeping his options open and will come back to you with a rib-tickling excuse. :rolleyes:

MsAllybear

my god, this exactly what happened me before xmas,.
stings so bad, i know! we were getting on great (i thought!) and then left wondering why he suddenly disappeared!!

I texted after almost week of hearing nothing, (xmas eve) and first said wtf!? and then Happy xmas anyway.... yes i know i shouldnt have but i wanted it "finished" before xmas, i needed him to go right we're over! but instead he text xmas DAY, saying his son had lost phone and then he'd been sick etc etc, he'd call me later - i wasnt impressed. anyway I later a drunken msg and nice msg later, and heard nothing else from him back!!. he text me new years eve wishes and i replied nicely (i wasnt gonna be the bitch!) and he replied. and have not heard from him again.

Still would like to speak or meet to just go Right, so we're done.


See if he gets in touch!! I feel your pain/annoyance!

LegacyUser

Oh gosh, I'm ANOTHER one who had this happen to me over Christmas! Probably the first guy that I've ever really really liked (I'm 20), all going amazingly, then suddenly he dropped off the face off the planet. I was devastated!

I guess all you (or I, or MsAllybear!) can do is maintain your dignity and don't contact him to look for answers. It may be a case of genuine too busy or whatever, and hopefully in time you'll find out. But until then sit tight and relax, concentrate on yourself so you're looking and feeling your best if you run into him again, it's all you can do IMO. I empathize!

LegacyUser

Want to know something fairly crazy...he just got in contact with me! Got a big long explanation (it is pretty genuine) and apologies and wants to meet up again as soon as we're both free (and that my stuff is ok!). It was weird that I kept thinking there has to be a little bit more to this, and I'm kinda glad now that there was! Like that, I'm gonna keep my guard up a little bit this time. Tonight I'm gonna be thinking of the rest of ye, and I hope that these people come through as well Thanks again guys

allovertheshop

what is the story with the amount of guys that think it's completely acceptable to go on a couple of dates with a girl, spout the same old lines "I really like you" & "I can really see this going somewhere" etc and then all of sudden they disappear off the face of the earth. If they don't like the girl, can they not just come straight out and say it? it would be much appriciated

OP, you should see this as a lucky escape. The guy was obviously too cowardly to tell you to your face that he didn't think it was working out. Don't waste anymore time thinking about him, he's not worth it. just put it down to experience and move on

LegacyUser

Am wondering what the excuse is that he gave (must be a really good one) if you are prepared to forgive/forget after trying to contact him for 2 whole weeks? And zero from him?

Do you not think that this is something you should be asking/looking at yourself? I know you like him, but come on! Sounds like he got in contact with his excuse/reason, now your all happy, so what happens when he does it again (and am sorry, but he will)?

LovelyLottie

Unless someone is unconscious in intensive care (oh i hope that wasn't the genuine reason here...) there is no excuse for not contacting the other person for 2 weeks. Other than the fact that they just weren't @rsed.

If you really like this guy and you think he's genuine, give him another chance if you really want to. But don't be surprised if he does his disappearing routine again. Or other undesirable traits start to emerge. Good luck.

LegacyUser

Won't go into the nitty gritty but it was a fairly big emergency, and given that I know the guy only a few weeks it's fairly understandable, as in personally I would have dropped everything in a heartbeat as well, had no phone either (which was the only way I had been contacting him) and was abroad as a result. Like that if it was different circumstances I wouldn't be having any of it, and even from getting to know this guy I wouldn't have expected him to drop off the face of the earth for no reason, but it certainly has been a good caution for the future. We'll see what happens

Funny that you say that LovelyLottie...I actually saw a guy (very casually) a few years back that ended up in a coma for a few days, I really know how to pick em! At that I was the one who realized that it wasn't going to work out :P

Anyway I'll still be fairly away, I'm far more headstrong than I come across!

ButterflyABC

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Aww of course you are disappointed, especially when you are enjoying someone's company and they seem to be equally keen.

Unless you're referring to family heirlooms and you merely left "stuff" there then I would just let it slide and forget about it. Delete his number and don't give it any more thought.

I will tell you something for sure though. I can absolutely GUARANTEE he will be in touch again. Not now, probably in a few months time or very randomly and when you least expect it. In my lengthy dating experience (;)) the "Mysteriously Disappearing Numpty" has a habit of reappearing and being really persistent. They are a law onto themselves and by not "finishing" with you he is merely keeping his options open and will come back to you with a rib-tickling excuse. :rolleyes:

This situation seems to be quite common, do they get scared off or what?! I wouldn't contact him either, Hard as it may be to forget him.

I totally agree, you will definitely hear from him again. A similar situation happened to me about a year ago and 3 months down the line, out of nowhere, I heard from him again and he treated the situation like we were going to pick up where we left off!

I feel for you though, I really do. The dating game is hard enough without stuff like this.

Ickle Magoo

As your issue has been resolved OP, I'm locking the thread.

All the very best. :cool: