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Worried and Low Confidence

  • 10-01-2012 2:29pm
    #1
    02572
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14 ✭


    Hi all,

    I have a slight form of social anxiety i think.
    (If you met me, I come across as a normal lad!)

    I need a job but I'm to scared to call companys and ask for a job (I dont know why, I just cant pick up the phone).
    I was at Mass the other day and I was too scared to go up and get Communion because 2 hot girls I know where in front of me and I didnt want them to see me. They made me feel lower then them I guess! and I got a bit shaky so didnt have the confidence to walk up the aisle because I thought they would judge me in there own head and make me feel bad.

    I just dont feel as good as other people, I am scared to go into pubs because I think that everyone will look at me, and comment or make jokes about me been weird and I worry they think Im a snob because I dont socialise with them . I want to but Im to scared to make that move!

    Any advice tips on the above? Please and thanks.

    I am self consious person because I am a little bit over weight and I am not as good a person as the other men who are in shape who get all the girls easy. I am a very courtious person however.
    I just wish I had the mind set to be happy and relaxed out of the house!!!


Comments

  • #2
    02572
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14 ✭02572


    anyone help me at all ?:confused:


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    You sound exactly like I used to be about 20 years ago.

    What age are you?

    I used to hate walking up the town or doing anything really as I felt people were looking at me.

    Have a read of a book The Feeling Good HAndbook by Dr. DAvid Burns. It has some prractical tips.

    Do things that make you feel good about yourself - do you have any hobbies?


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Yea would be interested to know how old you are. You may grow out of it if your young, but then shyness like this can stay with people and hold them back. I think you should concentrate more on what makes you happy as the other poster said. A hobby that will absorb you and you will feel better, if you do a sport you'll be fitter, with less time to worry about what others are thinking. Your issue is very broad so its hard to give specific advice but the main thing to remember is people really don't concentrate or care about other people that much at all, especially ones they don't know, most the time they're caught up in their own world and their own problems and stuff!
    I dont think a pub is the best place for you to make friends. People are generally very cliquey in them, and its very intimidating to try and socialise with people you don't know there. I think its better to meet people through evening classes/sports where you'll have something in common.
    And nobody actually enjoys ringing up about jobs, but you have to put yourself out there. I myself practically have a fear of phones! Remember that its only when people get out of their comfort zone, that they really start to live.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I used to be exactly like that but after reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle I realised that I was a victim of believing the negative thoughts in my head, I started by becoming the watcher of my thoughts, whenever I felt yuck I'd ask myself why and trace it back to a negative thought and then challenge this thought e.g. like is it really true that those girls going up to communion are thinking what I think they are thinking about me and then realise that no these are just my thoughts, those girls are probably thinking how they are going to spend the rest of their day or about an argument they had the day before or about I really like the coat that girl in front of me is wearing and this would then bring me to a place of realising that I don't know what's going on inside there heads no more than they know what's going on inside mine, God gave us the gift of freewill and this extends to what thoughts we think it's up to us to challenge the truth of our thoughts. I also found it helpful to say to myself what the heck for the rest of the day what have I got to loose by pushing every negative thought aside and replacing it with a positive thought, it's takes practice and awareness but after a while you get to a place where you find some space from the negativity, hope this information will help you.


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