Emotionless, Robotic, a Cheater and Lack of Empathy

LegacyUser

I tried to make a thread here about 2 months ago and it was never published. It talked about me cheating on my amazing girlfriend about how i have sex with girls all the time about how I cheated on my girlfriend and how I do the most diabolical things with them in terms of how much it would hurt my girlfriend. How ive had sex in my car, in our apartment, in my business when its closed. But PI never published it. And I said ok. That was months ago and now ive done it again and i feel lower than ever and basically im scum. But thats just me, i dont feel emotions for anyone, my family is in dire straits, my dad is ill and i dont care. Its so scary because i actually dont have emotions. I feel like I can do anything that im really evil because i literally dont care. Why dont i have emotions? I only feel loyalty towards my family and my girlfriend. I try to be nice not because i want to but because i think they're good people and deserve it. Thats horrible. Am I a pyschopath? I would never be able to kill someone or even hurt an animal but I feel like I have all the characteristics otherwise. Or maybe im just horribly selfish. I dont know.

Maple

OP, please do not refer to women in such derogatory terms.

Also I believe that this is your previous thread, please review the advice received http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056405353

Folks, please do not try to diagnose the OP. Any attempts to do so will result in the thread being locked

Maple

gmac102

wcilsdf wrote: »

I tried to make a thread here about 2 months ago and it was never published. It talked about me cheating on my amazing girlfriend about how i have sex with girls all the time about how I cheated on my girlfriend and how I do the most diabolical things with them in terms of how much it would hurt my girlfriend. How ive had sex in my car, in our apartment, in my business when its closed. But PI never published it. And I said ok. That was months ago and now ive done it again and i feel lower than ever and basically im scum. But thats just me, i dont feel emotions for anyone, my family is in dire straits, my dad is ill and i dont care. Its so scary because i actually dont have emotions. I feel like I can do anything that im really evil because i literally dont care. Why dont i have emotions? I only feel loyalty towards my family and my girlfriend. I try to be nice not because i want to but because i think they're good people and deserve it. Thats horrible. Am I a pyschopath? I would never be able to kill someone or even hurt an animal but I feel like I have all the characteristics otherwise. Or maybe im just horribly selfish. I dont know.

you said you feel nothing but yet the over tone of your message conveys fear, fear is an emotion.

saa

You're not a monster, you sound like you're in distress and this problem hasn't gone away by itself. It could be the path for you to talk to someone if it suits you can call The Samaratins they provide their services for people under stress about anything or AWARE, or you can get counseling services through you GP or privately.

Sometimes it can be very difficult to feel emotions for other people when we are experiencing very low and difficult ones ourselves, talk to someone and does not mean you need to deal with labels or that the person you go to is going to think you are a bad person they won't for the cheating they will be understanding and respect the fact you're doing something to get things under control.

saa

gmac102 wrote: »

you said you feel nothing but yet the over tone of your message conveys fear, fear is an emotion.

He says he feels low but cannot feel emotions concerning other people.
If I read that correctly.

saa

And you said OP your Dad is ill, my mother was ill growing up and I didn't care, I was as happy as Larry because it was too much for me to deal with so I dissociated, blocked out dealing with it, and that was okay at the time protected me, it was perfectly normal considering it was a difficult time you're not a bad person, I felt the same at one time and I'm a very caring and normal person I hope.

LegacyUser

No, I dont think you're a pyschopath. Now you obviously need to see a therapist, because though you say you don't care, you are coming on this looking to vent your guilt about things by telling strangers. So its not like you're the terminator or whatever, he's not likely to be on boards saying he'd 'never hurt an animal'. A therapist will help you sort out your issues, diagnose you, or help you understand better why you feel like this.
I nor anyone else can diagnose you. But if you are looking for advices/opinions on yourself, what comes across in your post is just immaturity, plain ol not taking responsibility for actions, innate selfishness, the list goes on. Sorry for being blunt but it seems you are a spoilt, lazy person that maybe has had things handed to them, perhaps never really had to work tirelessly to achieve something, has not gone after anything they might be passionate about, had goals etc. A person changes themselves and their feelings by changing their actions. It will take effort to be nice to people, to be kind, and honest. But you have to put it into practice, and more and more you will become that person. We could all go around in our little worlds not giving a toss, because its the easy way out. But you don't like the person you are, no you say don't care but if you were a total sociopath you wouldn't be on this worrying about being this person.

As for your girlfriend, it seems like once you had cheated and got away with it, what difference does it make if you do it again and again, another 100 times. You'll still feel the same. Nothing is going to shake you out of it, because you can do it, get away with it etc. You've never admitted it to her so you will stay the same, besides you enjoy it, why would you stop if you don't care. But f you were living any kind of fulfilling life you would care. Maybe you just dont love her. So, either you admit to at least one of these times to her, and stop making a fool of her, or break up with her and go do what you want. If you don't take either of these routes, you might change for a while but my guess is you'll go back to the same thing like you have. All in all while I dont think there's anything majorly wrong with you, but definitely should go talk to a therapist/counsellor, if you want any change to happen you will have to make the effort.

gmac102

saa wrote: »

He says he feels low but cannot feel emotions concerning other people.
If I read that correctly.

in his post he says and i quote "Its so scary because i actually dont have emotions" along with saying he feels no emotions towards others

InReality

I felt pretty blank and unemotional when my dad was very ill , it was the only way I could cope at the time.

If your family is under stress its only natural your own emotions and responses can be "extreme".

I'd talk to a GP or ring the samaratins.

greenprincess

i think you need to break up with your girlfriend this is really unfair on her

wylo

speak to a professional,

Your unhappiness/depression/self loathing is drowning out your empathy and joy and care for others.

up for anything

wcilsdf wrote: »

I only feel loyalty towards my family and my girlfriend.

How can you feel loyalty towards your girlfriend when you are constantly having sex with other women, unless she knows and it is an arrangement you have which it obviously isn't from your OP?

Not only are you betraying her in a horrible way, even to having sex with someone else in her own home, but you are putting her health at risk. It doesn't matter if you practice safe sex with these other women or not - there can always be a accident. As well as that although condoms greatly reduce the risk of getting an STD, they do not prevent them 100%.

how I do the most diabolical things with them in terms of how much it would hurt my girlfriend

This is reprehensible and perhaps one of the nastiest aspects of your post. :mad:

Speak to a professional but firstly afford your girlfriend some respect and tell her what you have been doing and let her make a decision regarding your life together.

naturallydyed

I was having issues and went for hypnotherapy...I found it to be a life changing,transforming and uplifting experience , would recommend to all...any bad behaviour is a person screaming for help....plase go get some , for everybodys sake!