THE ITALIAN WEDDING TEST

billythepig

I was a very happy man.
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.
so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me..

It was her beautiful younger sister, Sofia.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini
skirts, and generally was Bra-less.

She would regularly bend down when she was near me.
I always got more than a nice view.

It had to be deliberate.
she never did it around anyone else.

One day she called me and asked me to come over.
'To check my Sister's wedding- invitations' she said.

She was alone when I arrived.
she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me.
she couldn't overcome them anymore.

She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married.

She said "Before you commit your life to my sister".
Well, I was in total shock, and I couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom" she said.
"if you want one last wild fling, just come up and have me".

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

I stood there for a moment..
Then turned and made a bee-line straight to the front door.
I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lord And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me.
He said, 'Sergio, we are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family my son..'

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

jayboi

Billy you so crazzzay!

MitchKoobski

Pfft heard it :pac:

giles lynchwood

What has this got to do with waterford.

ROCKMAN

giles lynchwood wrote: »

What has this got to do with waterford.

Have you not heard of the Waterford Mafia ??

Their everywhere :cool:

billythepig

giles lynchwood wrote: »

What has this got to do with waterford.

its called sharing a joke with my fellow waterfordians

Funfair

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually
attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.
So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said,
'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there,' and indicated the
sender with a nod of his head.


She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man,
then decided to send a reply to him by a note.
The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the
note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have
a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and '7' inches in
your pants'.
After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his
own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed
him to deliver it to the lady.

It read:
'Just to let you know things aren't always
what they appear to be: I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600 and
a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen and
Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million
dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as
beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches. Just send the wine back....

prettygurrly

very good...new to me!

MitchKoobski

You know ye could at least change the font or formatting to make it look like you didn't just paste it from somewhere else.

scotty_irish

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaXKGj2DwFo

Funfair

MitchKoobski wrote: »

You know ye could at least change the font or formatting to make it look like you didn't just paste it from somewhere else.

What's the point..do I look like the kind of guy that would write that crap

giles lynchwood

ROCKMAN wrote: »

Have you not heard of the Waterford Mafia ??

Their everywhere :cool:

No i never heard of Waterford or Irish mafia,only Irish crime gang´s.Gardai being the largest by account´s and recent court verdict´s

membersonly

MitchKoobski wrote: »

You know ye could at least change the font or formatting to make it look like you didn't just paste it from somewhere else.

I don't think they were claiming to have written the jokes themselves in fairness.

dayshah

giles lynchwood wrote: »

No i never heard of Waterford or Irish mafia,only Irish crime gang´s.Gardai being the largest by account´s and recent court verdict´s

The Irish mafia are just way better than the Sicilians at keeping themselves secret.