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Feel isolated since breakup.

  • 06-01-2012 2:15pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Okay, so here's the story. I broke up with a girl a few months ago. No need for details, just to say we broke up over irreconcilable differences. It came as a shock to me, as I thought we were solid and I was pretty devastated. It's been difficult, but I'm getting better. The thing is, we haven't spoken since the break up, and that in itself has left me feeling empty. We didn't end on good terms, and even though I'd like to bury the hatchet, I doubt she'd talk to me. There were angry words on both sides and I don't think she'd want to hear from me.

    But since then, I've found myself getting isolated from a group of mutual friends. We met through the group, and I had gotten on well with them even before meeting the girl. She knew them longer, and I can understand loyalty they'd show towards her. But it's like getting dumped twice by gradually getting phased out. I guess I should have seen this coming. And I did mention to her that if we did break up, I'd be the one to lose out. Should I cut my losses and just walk away? I don't want to, as I really like all the people involved, and would even like to talk to the girl again, if the situation arose. But feeling like I'm just fading into the background is really hurting.

    And that's the end of this episode of Friends! :P


Comments

  • #2
    fluffybiscuits
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 152 ✭✭fluffybiscuits


    PhaseOut wrote: »
    Okay, so here's the story. I broke up with a girl a few months ago. No need for details, just to say we broke up over irreconcilable differences. It came as a shock to me, as I thought we were solid and I was pretty devastated. It's been difficult, but I'm getting better. The thing is, we haven't spoken since the break up, and that in itself has left me feeling empty. We didn't end on good terms, and even though I'd like to bury the hatchet, I doubt she'd talk to me. There were angry words on both sides and I don't think she'd want to hear from me.

    But since then, I've found myself getting isolated from a group of mutual friends. We met through the group, and I had gotten on well with them even before meeting the girl. She knew them longer, and I can understand loyalty they'd show towards her. But it's like getting dumped twice by gradually getting phased out. I guess I should have seen this coming. And I did mention to her that if we did break up, I'd be the one to lose out. Should I cut my losses and just walk away? I don't want to, as I really like all the people involved, and would even like to talk to the girl again, if the situation arose. But feeling like I'm just fading into the background is really hurting.

    And that's the end of this episode of Friends! :P

    Very sorry to hear what happened and you have spent some time apart so perhaps time is a great healer.

    There is two options here in my opinion.

    Fristly do you have a close friend or a contact within that group of friends who you talk to and are somewhat close to? Discuss with him or her that you would like to remain friends with your ex and you would like to be their friend and you understand that they have loyalties but you are not questioning that. You just want to be friends with them .

    The other option is the tougher option but try and make a new gang of friends. Can be very tricky but it can be done, meeting new people and building up a network. You act as the link in the chain to form a new group of friends.

    Wish you all the best a chara!


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