My sense of hummer

Attie

Old lady fed up with hardship and life in general decides to shoot herself in the heart as she didn’t want to ruin her good looks.
Not knowing where her heart is decides to ask doctor who tells her it is 2 inches below your right nipple so she went home and promptly shot her self in the right nee.




Paddy wants to become a Priest, so he goes to see the Bishop who says, "1st you must answer 3 questions on the Bible".

1st, who was born in a stable?'

"Red Rum" replies paddy.

2nd, "Do you know anything about Damascus?".

"It kills 99% of all known germs"
says paddy.

3rd, "What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive?".

"Not sure about that!", says paddy!.

"Did Popeye kick the fookin' sh!!e out of em!!??....




An Irishman is sha**ing a Jewish girl & says 'You're not very tight for a
Jew!'
She says 'Well you're not very thick for a Paddy!'

Cathquig

Dentist sees an old female paitent with a real sour face on her so decides to tell her a joke to put her at ease.

He says "You see these gloves? Do you know how they're made? They have a bunch of fellas in a factory with all different sized hands. They dip their hands in rubber then wave them about to dry."

Old wan doesnt even smile so the fella decides to just begin the check up and get it over with.

Half way through she starts laughing her head off.

"what's so funny?" he asks

"i was just imagining how they made condoms"

Attie

Cathquig wrote: »

Dentist sees an old female paitent with a real sour face on her so decides to tell her a joke to put her at ease.

He says "You see these gloves? Do you know how they're made? They have a bunch of fellas in a factory with all different sized hands. They dip their hands in rubber then wave them about to dry."

Old wan doesnt even smile so the fella decides to just begin the check up and get it over with.

Half way through she starts laughing her head off.

"what's so funny?" he asks

"i was just imagining how they made condoms"

Liam Byrne