What do I do?

LegacyUser

It all started last year when I lost my house and had to move in with my ex into his small house. There was no other option for me as I was cash strapped with debts. We have a child who is still attending college and is doing the leaving in two years. I have been looking for work for a while now and its been painful. I need a job badly as I want to get out from here.

He is constantly breathing down my neck and then later apologises for what he said. We have really different personalities. He also is very much involved with his faith, ( born again and quoting the bible a lot and watches the God channel. I am not religious and do attend these meetings he goes too, but he tells me that I need to be saved and looks down on me as if I am bad and I don't do anything right. He hates spending any money but will treat his friends to meals and such. I have never been out with him only to the shops to buy some food.

I cook him dinner, make he tea, write him letters, clean the house as way of payment for staying here. I cannot give him money as I do not have any to give and I have bills from my old place that need to be tended too. He is very argumentative and always feels he is right and I have to do things his way or else I will have to move. He is constantly makiing me feel like crap and I feel so uneasy.

I sit alone at night and cry at what my situation is and where I am at. I want to so get out from here this year, as I need to breathe. My ex has been aggressive towards me in the past. I don't want that to happen again. I just feel nothing I do is right. I have put up weight due to stress and comfort eating, which I hope to lose this year. I know I need to think positive, but sometimes its hard when I have someone roaring at me and making me feel like a skivvy.

I have no idea of what to do or such. Oh I am not depressed or on any medication. I don't drink or smoke so I have no needs there. I just want to get a good start on this year and make it the best, but it is hard to see it when I am being bombarded with negative words.
Just need some advice or pointers.

Thank you for reading this. Please be nice as I am having a fairly tough time.

Thank you

Xterminator

first up, i sympathise with your very difficult situation does sound very hard on you.

this person, your ex has taken you in to a small house, without payment. i think this is a very admirable action on his part. i dont want to down play this kindness even if he is very hard to live with by his other actions. you are lucky to have this option available, and it might help a litle to keep this in your mind. IE when your feeling down, try to remind yourself of the positive aspects of this person.

i do believe that you would be mentally better off out of his house, and that attempting to confront this person or change their behavior is unlikey to bring much success.

i see you mention you have bills that are outstanding. and you are trying to address these bills. When they are paid off will that leave you in a position where you can move out ? if so, how long will you have to endure your current situation before the bills are paid?

have you considered contacting mabs to get your debt repayments reduced? i would suggest this be the very 1st thing you do. once your out of debt, you can attempt to get your own place. if you have a date you wil be out of debt, this will give you something to look forward to.

if you cant wait or are unable to deal with it, you should look at this section of citizens information. http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/housing/losing_your_home/homelessness.html

your situation appears to meet the definition of homeless, and your local authority should be able to place you on the emergency list for accommodation. again this will take time, but should offer you a route out of your current situation.

good luck, and try to keep a positive frame of mind, and not let yourself focus on the negative stuff.

X