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Somehow you just know

  • 27-12-2011 11:44pm
    #1
    Deliverance
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,674 ✭✭✭


    This is something that I have learned the hard way:

    As a kid I remember massive arguments, mostly between myself and my dad. We did not like each other. he was a bully and liked a drink, I was a rebellious little bastard who always spoke my mind.

    I conflicted my dad all the time due to nothing more than wanting to assert myself as an individual. My dad went out of his way to shut me down for some reason. This made me fight more, this made my dad hit more. Punch to the head as a smackdown was one mistake that he made, it made me lose my temper.

    As a teen, I beat my dad down physically, after he attacked me, I wrestled him to the ground and gained the upper ground with the ability to beat him into submission. I ended up leaving him up and let him think that he had won for the sake of keeping family peace. The man did not like me.

    I found out some time later that he was not my real dad. It made sense because dads are supposed to be proud of their kids achievments.

    I went on to work hard and achieve as much as I could to show my dad that I could do well. I went on to achieve my Bachelor of Arts, then I did my Masters.

    Sometimes though I feel so alone in moving forwards because sometimes I want my real dad to be proud of me. That is impossible though as my real dad is gone now and I never knew him.

    I think that he would be proud of me though.

    That is life though. A dad does make a difference is the point I'm making, I miss the real one that I didn't have.


Comments

  • #2
    Frowzy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 516 ✭✭✭Frowzy


    Are you saying that because you didn't get on with your Dad growing up that you always knew that he wasn't your biological father?

    I don't mean to belittle your post OP but that reasoning would mean that 80% of us werent raised by our biological parents.

    There are lots of issues in your post which have had an effect on who you are today, did your mother stick up for you?, what happened your real Dad?, the drinking etc etc.

    I'm delighted that you got a good education as that will stand to you forever, however we don't measure life's success/happiness on our level of education.

    You might get better advice for your situation in Personal Issues. Best of Luck!


  • #3
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    Moved to Personal Issues


  • #4
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Everyone that had/has the power to influence us has the power to make a difference - not to make light of what you have posted but there are very few people who would not be able to relate to some degree regarding a particular parent or close family member.

    Drinking, violence, finding out he wasn't your biological father, being made to feel no-one was proud of you - it sounds like an awful lot of issues that have effected your self-belief and continues to affect you as an adult - would you consider discussing them with a third-party? It might help bring some kind of closure.

    All the best.


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