Question for men re cowardness

MsAllybear

ok, i'm not tarring yee all with the same brush and im sorry for breaking into men club but seriously need some kinda male perspective.

going out with guy 2 months, he's on phone to me everyday, seems really keen, we meeting up twice a week, we live almost hour from each other.

Last time i saw him, last monday, we as a couple went to my friends house for drinks cos her hubby knows him (we met at their wedding)
so that night went well , been on phone since etc .. hadnt met since monday due to clashing stuff on last wk .. then chatting friday night, got text sat morning to say hi etc.. then Nothing.
I mean not a fecking peep. I know he was busy all saturday with family things, i knew of this and wasnt expecting to hear much if at all but nothing since that.
(i'm rambling i know!)

anyway it only took me to sunday evening to figure something up... (i tried ringing once!)
monday eve to guess i've been dumped (sent text asking was all ok- no reply)
and today to realise what an A** he is to not have guts to ring me up or even text and tell me its over.

Guys, any ideas why, or have yee ever done this and not realised HOW extremely hurtful it is, yes we only together 2 months but him ringing me every day (but no lack of interest from me) and then Nothing?!!

also... no he hasnt lost phone/got run over by bus/ family sick etc
he's alive and well and nothing is wrong in family .

this is more a rant but any ideas?? and no i dont plan on text/phoning/facebooking him anymore.
and not really relevant but week before xmas?!
my friends all saying he must have been w*anker and i'm almost defneding him cos i genuinelly really liked and never thought he'd be kind to do this. and i aint kinda girl whod go crying down phone after he breaks it off etc...

Just very upset that he hasnt decency to just tell me its over.

strobe

You know him better than anyone here does so no one here is going to be in a position to know his mind better than you are.

MsAllybear

strobe wrote: »

You know him better than anyone here does so no one here is going to be in a position to know his mind better than you are.

i'm just wondering why would a guy do this?

stupidusername

Some people are pricks.

I imagine it's an escapist thing,as in he doesn't want to deal with your reaction to being told he wants to break up with you.

MIN2511

Some women do this as well...

OP sorry, that'll wreck my head but sure the only thing we can say here is upwards and onwards

Cheer up, many other fishes in the sea

MsAllybear

stupidusername wrote: »

Some people are pricks.

I imagine it's an escapist thing,as in he doesn't want to deal with your reaction to being told he wants to break up with you.

so he just doesnt tell me and lets me figure it out! seriously as guys do yee understand this.
he could tell me on phone or at this stage text.

oh yeh and last time i saw him, he was trying to make plans with me for new yrs eve and not cos he's short of friends/family.

MsAllybear

MIN2511 wrote: »

Some women do this as well...

OP sorry, that'll wreck my head but sure the only thing we can say here is upwards and onwards

Cheer up, many other fishes in the sea

yes i know woman are not saints, i'm not giving out about men or anything, just trying to figure out why!!
i'm not the best one for confrontation, i hate it but i wouldnt just not contact ..

Rick Deckard

No one is going to admit to doing that/knowing why someone would fo it..

Prob best heading to the ladies lounge and asking how they got through it happening to them..

For my two cents worth, two or three days is nothing if ye are only seeing each other a couple of months.

stupidusername

MsAllybear wrote: »

so he just doesnt tell me and lets me figure it out! seriously as guys do yee understand this.
he could tell me on phone or at this stage text.

oh yeh and last time i saw him, he was trying to make plans with me for new yrs eve and not cos he's short of friends/family.

I'm not a guy,but it's not a guy thing. Its a prick thing. You're not going to get a satisfactory answer here. Some people avoid unpleasantness and it seems he is one.

Dyr

Got his phone bill probably.

Or because you say "yee"

Or some other reason

starviewadams

Just sounds like a prick I'm afraid,that's life unfortunately.

Someone who treats you like that is not even worth wasting time thinking about.

strobe

Rick Deckard wrote: »

For my two cents worth, two or three days is nothing if ye are only seeing each other a couple of months.

Just to +1 this sentiment. He may be doing it for prick reasons but it may be something completely innocent either. Some people go three days without speaking to anybody they know whatsoever, occasionally.

Tigger

MsAllybear wrote: »

i'm just wondering why would a guy do this?

i was seeing a girl in dublin while living in sligo
drove a bike in the cold rain especially to meet up with her and she didnt have the decency to answer the phone when i rang to make sure i'd been stood up (bad but not very bad) rather than that she'd been in an accident (really bad)

so don't tar men as cowards tar cowards as cowards

MsAllybear

ah men, I love yous! yer straight to the point this is why i came here!! shur i've been in the ladies lounge all day and conclusion there is men are Pricks ,well that man in particular..

as for phone bill (smart ass) vodafone to vodafone free calls etc...

as for its only couple days in short term relationship... yeh i've had this from everyone.. But we were on phone every day, no i wasnt phoning him first, it was him ringing me, and to go from every day to absolutely nothing is why i'm kinda going Huh, ok im dumped.

seanybiker

Nope wouldn't do that meself. No use leading someone along.
Add me and ill poke ya on Facebook

MsAllybear

Tigger wrote: »

i was seeing a girl in dublin while living in sligo
drove a bike in the cold rain especially to meet up with her and she didnt have the decency to answer the phone when i rang to make sure i'd been stood up (bad but not very bad) rather than that she'd been in an accident (really bad)

so don't tar men as cowards tar cowards as cowards

I honestly wasnt tarring all men as cowards, sorry, just this fella in particular.
yeah and even with most people saying he's an ass, i got worried and starting thinking what if he did get knocked down by bus/ family member sick etc.. so as his sis in law had me on fb, and sometimes popped up to say hi, i actually sent her msg trying to ask casually hows all with them and then something about xmas and she replied about xmas so me worrying about the ass, thinking he's in hospital and cant get to phone, and no he's totally fine and is able to ignore me.

Kev.OC

Ok, I'm going to jump in and play Devil's advocate here for a minute, just 'cause.

Could he be depressed? Every now and then i get a bit down and go three or four or five days without talking to anyone, so as to not drag them down with me. Not entirely unheard of for people to get a bit sad around the holidays. Maybe he doesn't want to put a damper on your Christmas.

That being said though, you've tried to get onto him, and you've gotten nowhere doing so. I'm not going to tell you "You're dumped, move on." But if you ask me, you tried to get onto him, and presumably left him some voicemail/text messages, so the ball is in his court now. I wouldn't go jumping to conclusions, but at the same time you shouldn't hold your breath.

Spend your holidays with friends and loved ones, have a good time, share some laughs. If you hear from him (and he sheds a bit of light on the lack of communication) great. If you don't, him breaking up with you in that manner is a dick move, and anyone who knows you will tell you that you deserve to be treated much much better than that.

MsAllybear

Kev.OC wrote: »

Ok, I'm going to jump in and play Devil's advocate here for a minute, just 'cause.

Could he be depressed? Every now and then i get a bit down and go three or four or five days without talking to anyone, so as to not drag them down with me. Not entirely unheard of for people to get a bit sad around the holidays. Maybe he doesn't want to put a damper on your Christmas.

That being said though, you've tried to get onto him, and you've gotten nowhere doing so. I'm not going to tell you "You're dumped, move on." But if you ask me, you tried to get onto him, and presumably left him some voicemail/text messages, so the ball is in his court now. I wouldn't go jumping to conclusions, but at the same time you shouldn't hold your breath.

Spend your holidays with friends and loved ones, have a good time, share some laughs. If you hear from him (and he sheds a bit of light on the lack of communication) great. If you don't, him breaking up with you in that manner is a dick move, and anyone who knows you will tell you that you deserve to be treated much much better than that.

Depression is possibility yes of course, I dont know him long enough to know if he goes through this or not.
He has a young son and spends a lot of time with him so cant really hide out for couple days on him now. but thanks for replies.

i know it is a case of i'm dumped move on, i'm not getting annoyed at that. its the whole I'm dumped but havent been told about it yet thing..

I wonder if i'd kept ringing (in worry) and texting , would he have eventually answered and told me...

anyway Cheers lads! said this last night but definitly mean it tonight cos (almost) know score now! Tomorrow is a new day! fresh start... :pac:

Da Shins Kelly

He's a c*ck. You'll have that. Onwards and upwards is where you gotta go.

h2005

Maybe he`s just cheap.

MyKeyG

MsAllybear wrote: »

Guys, any ideas why, or have yee ever done this and not realised HOW extremely hurtful it is, yes we only together 2 months but him ringing me every day (but no lack of interest from me) and then Nothing?!!

No but my girlfriend of three years did it to me. Can you believe that? Moved to Dublin to start a new life and decided, without telling me, that I wasn't part of it. Three years then just stopped taking my calls. And yes it does hurt.

You claim not to be tarring all men but to post it in The Gentleman's Club entitled 'mens cowardness' (it's cowardice btw) shows very bad form. Relationships boards might be a more neutral place to get to the bottom of your dilemma.

MsAllybear

MyKeyG wrote: »

No but my girlfriend of three years did it to me. Can you believe that? Moved to Dublin to start a new life and decided, without telling me, that I wasn't part of it. Three years then just stopped taking my calls. And yes it does hurt.

You claim not to be tarring all men but to post it in The Gentleman's Club entitled 'mens cowardness' (it's cowardice btw) shows very bad form. Relationships boards might be a more neutral place to get to the bottom of your dilemma.

sorry

Honestly i know men are not all like this, just not in good place this evening over it- fact that im still up and online shows that. avoiding going to bed. (i feel like crap!)
cowardice sorry:o
i dont think its only men that are cowards; i know woman can do this too, your situation was way worse jees!!
Only looking for advice from men that's all.
sorry sorry, wasnt trying to insult there.

I'm off now anyway, Apologies if i sounded like i'm tarring all men like this, i'm not cos i actually don't know any guys that would do this and I seriously didnt think this fella would do this.

anyway, adios guys! thanks for advice!!

sam34

op, the gentlemans club isn't the place to get advice on your relationship, that's what relationship issues is for.

thread closed.