SW fraud

LegacyUser

My mother is committing social welfare fraud although not on a large scale like some cases reported in the news.

She is receiving unemployment allowance and has a cash in hand job boosting up her income by 80 a week. She has two adult sons living at home with her who she supports because she allows them to be financially irresponsible - drinking and getting drunk every weekend without. Her weekly income is 268 euro a week. The family home is mortgage free. She has absolutely no skill regarding household budgeting and she is in arrears with bills. I have suggested time and time again changes that she could make to help like:
like buying store brand foods,
getting her sons to contribute even if it's just 20 euro each a week
Cutting down on her weekly shopping trips to the city and to perhap do it fortnightly.

My advice and suggestions have fallen on deaf ears.

The problem is that she is being a manipulative hag nagging me for money. I've helped so many times and I am now sick of this situation because it is as clear as daylight that she is taken advantage of me even though I am not doing very well myself. If she was to introduce measures to improve the situation, I would gladly and happily help in any way I can.

It pains me to say this but I am thinking about reporting her to SW. What she is doing is a form of greed to handicap her sons while she uses me as a crutch to fall on due to her ignorance. Do you think if I was to report her, would she learn the skills needed to run her own household budget? Greed is a trait that I hate in anyone.

sambuka41

I don't think reporting her will changer her ways. I don't think it will help you either, because she will put more pressure on you looking for money.

It would be best to be honest with her, say you don't agree with what she is allowing in her house (with your brothers) and you won't facilitate it any more by giving her money. The thing you have to remember is that it is HER house and she can be as irresponsible as she wants, she's an adult who you are not responsible for. You'd be better finding a way to say no and walk away rather than report her. (in my opinion only, and its very difficult when its family but you wouldn't take this from a friend so why from an adult family member?)

ongarboy

I second above! Your mother is asking for money from you so she can fund, enable and facilitate your brothers laziness and dead end behaviour (as well as her own). You must say NO to any requests for cash or handouts and have a clear conscience explaining that you will not be a part of facilitating this lifestyle. It may....just may...force her...and in turn the two boyos to start behaving more responsibly. You will then have nothing to apologise or be responsible for. Of course, it may lead to some resentment from her but you need to be strong and brave enough to rise above that because you are actually doing her a favour.

Reporting her for SW fraud is not going to solve your issue here however you can chose to report her if you feel it your moral and civic duty on behalf of the honest taxpayers of Ireland.

Big Bag of Chips

Maddening as it is, what your 2 brothers do, or don't do is not really any of your business.

All you ahve to concern yourself with is you, and your life. If you are struggling, just start saying "No, I don't have it" when she asks you for money.

That way if you are not handing money over to her, you won't be so annoyed at what she buys, or how often she goes shopping, because it won't be with your money.

And don't worry about her, she won't starve. If you cut off her supply she'll just find it somewhere else! There are plenty of people out there like your mother. They live week to week, "robbing Peter to pay Paul" as the saying goes, and they see nothing wrong with it.

So all your advice and guidance is falling on deaf ears, because she has no intention of changing. She doesn't see anything wrong with borrowing money from you (or whoever else will give it to her) to subsidise herself, and the 2 grown up sons!

Just start saying no to her. It will be hard at first, but will get easier and the more you say no, the less she will ask.

curlzy

the.working.slave wrote: »

Do you think if I was to report her, would she learn the skills needed to run her own household budget/QUOTE]

Hey OP,

No she will just get 80 stopped from her payment and an overpayment calculated. That is of course that they can actually catch her and prove it. The MAB (money advise bureau) may be able to give her help/advise to manage her budget but she will need to approach them. SW is stretched to the absolute limit, they don't have the resources or time to teach adults how to be adults. I always advise people to report fraud, always, but in this case while it's the honest, moral thing to do, I don't think it will lead anywhere good for you.

Best of luck.

lau1247

I wouldn't not report her but instead encourage her to do the right thing..

First thing i think you need is to sit and speak to your brothers (I assume they are grown adult by this stage). Explain the situation as you see it and that your mother is struggling (Yes if you have to fraud SW, then it is partially struggling). Also set a worst case scenario that should your mother pass away sometime in the near future, there won't be anyone left to take care of them.. hopefully that would scare them to get their act together..

As for your mother, while you did advise her how to save money, did you go through your thrifty methods.. i.e. go grocery shopping with her.. show her how.. people are more incline to learn and do things when they have someone showing them..

When both situation with your brother and mother have started to improve, by that stage your mother don't have to support your brother and maybe then it's time to encourage your mother to stop the SW fraud..

WhyGoBald

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Maddening as it is, what your 2 brothers do, or don't do is not really any of your business.

All you ahve to concern yourself with is you, and your life. If you are struggling, just start saying "No, I don't have it" when she asks you for money.

That way if you are not handing money over to her, you won't be so annoyed at what she buys, or how often she goes shopping, because it won't be with your money.

And don't worry about her, she won't starve. If you cut off her supply she'll just find it somewhere else! There are plenty of people out there like your mother. They live week to week, "robbing Peter to pay Paul" as the saying goes, and they see nothing wrong with it.

So all your advice and guidance is falling on deaf ears, because she has no intention of changing. She doesn't see anything wrong with borrowing money from you (or whoever else will give it to her) to subsidise herself, and the 2 grown up sons!

Just start saying no to her. It will be hard at first, but will get easier and the more you say no, the less she will ask.

This is good advice. Don't call your mother a hag; just stop enabing her. If you wish, write a note to her saying you will not be giving her any more money, and enclose some information from MABS. Then formulate a standard refusal for every time she asks you after that. She'll get the message.

Beruthiel

the.working.slave wrote: »

The problem is that she is being a manipulative hag nagging me for money

It would sadden me greatly if my child had such a negative opinion of me.
I have to ask, considering your low opinion of your mother, why are you constantly giving her money?
Why haven't you told her you don't have it.
Why are you spending time with her at all in fact?

If you don't want to give her money, then stop.
She will still manage.

Doc Ruby

curlzy wrote: »

No she will just get 80 stopped from her payment and an overpayment calculated.

I think you're allowed to work a certain number of hours a week and still keep the payment, €80 sounds well within the boundary. It should be declared of course but might not have any effect on the received amount.

On topic, its only your problem if you let it be OP, just say no, and plead hard times if you must.

Daisy M

Your post rings a bell. Have you posted before regarding your mother waiting hand on foot on your brothers and asking for no rent while you have to pay up and help out? If this is the case then you are obviously holding a grudge against your mother and looking at ways to make sure she gets her comeuppance.

Stay out of it, hold on to your money and mind your own business.

lumjm

Agree with above, sounds like a very large grudge you are holding there OP. If you are a mature adult and are earning well yourself as you have said then why are you staying in this situation? The only reason is it must be working out a good bit cheaper for you than living on your own and renting somewhere? Therefore you shouldn't be so begrudging about handing over money. Your brothers' situation though unfair is really none of your business. And if she's asking for way too much and you both can't come to an appropriate arrangement, then move out? Seems simple really.

Elle Collins

Your mother brought you into this world for God's sake, and you're considering shopping her over a scabby eighty euro a week!!! :eek:

This is the most spiteful business I've read online in a while. I'm honestly shocked.

Fentdog84

Well i would have no qualms about reporting anyone for SW fraud or otherwise. One of the reasons we are all in this mess is because of the hush-hush we'll look after our own culture.However she is your mother and it is only 80 euro a week, if she was earning a full salary it would be different and i suppose she is making an effort to do something..Id leave it tbh but if you feel strongly enough you can do it anonymously anyway.

niceoneted

Regardless of whether she would learn to manage her household budget you should report her to SW. you can do this anonymously.
If you work and pay taxes you and I and every one else who does is paying for her benefits when they are not a genuine claim.