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Two's company...

  • 18-12-2011 7:46am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026
    ✭✭✭✭


    I'm abroad and because of cost issues initially, began temporarily sharing a room. I know the person I'm sharing with and we get on great-no issues with that person.

    The problem is that their friend is coming over in the new year and wants to stay with us until we find our own place, the three of us. My friend is a bit of a push-over so when this person said, "I'm staying with you guys until I get set up that's alright isn't it?" They didn't argue. I don't know the 3rd person BTW.

    So obviously, I'm not thrilled about this situation (3of us in the room) and I've told my roommate this. They said, they know it's not ideal but this person doesn't want to stay in a hostel on their own and don't want to piss off the other 3rd person.

    Anyway, a room has just become available (short term) in another friends house, bit more expensive but I should be able to manage it. So I told my roomie that their friend could take over my place and I'd move out til we get a 3 bedroom place.

    This has been passed on to the third party and the response "well i dont know if I can afford that until I get a job".

    What is with this Irish mentality of outstaying your welcome? I know people will say, just move out but I've a deposit in the current place and I can't afford to lose it as I'm planning on using it for the new place.

    How do I persuade my roommate that this person CAN NOT stay.


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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,423 tinkerbell
    ✭✭✭


    Simple really - tell them that you will be moving out if they let a third person stay over. Seriously OP, that is the height of ignorance that your roommate is letting a friend stay over when you are not happy with it - it's not like sharing an apartment, you are sharing a bedroom! That's way out of line.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,559 Daisy M
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    I think you should move regardless of wheather or not this third party decides to stay. I think its important to have your own space that no one else can intrude on, so if you can afford it move.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,442 Firetrap
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    I don't blame you for being teed off. Your room mate went ahead and made this decision without even asking you. Secondly, this sounds like an open-ended agreement. Your visitor could be here for three days, three weeks, three months.... Why can't they stay in a hostel like everyone else?

    Despite you doing nothing wrong here, you're going to be painted as the bad guy if you put your foot down or threaten to move out. If it hasn't caused problems with your relationship with your room-mate already, it's going to. Is there any way at all that you can move out? Even to arrange with the people in the other house that you'll have the deposit for them a little bit down the line?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,328 cafecolour
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    I'd guess part of the problem is that people often have insanely unrealistic expectations on how long it takes to 'get set up'. I'd guess this person thinks they'll be employed in a week and have a flat by the second.

    Practically speaking, it may take a month or two before s/he actually has money coming in and can find accommodation. And once they're staying with you, you'll never get them out until then - honestly, no matter how irritating it is you'll be hard-pressed to essentially throw them out on the street once they're there.

    There's no 'persuading' simply tell your roommate that you can't deal with a third person in the room - it will seriously affect your ability to sleep and function and remain gainfully employed. If the friend comes, you're out (with the deposit). So they can either pay or find alternate accommodation. Tell your roommate to put all the blame on you if they need to.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 LegacyUser
    ✭✭✭✭


    Thanks for all the really good advice guys.

    Ye are right. I do need to move out and that's going to be my plan of action from now.

    I do agree that no matter how I go from here I'm going to be painted as the bad guy because if I stay, I know I'll be complaining but if I move out I'll be either forcing someone to pay rent who claims they cant afford it (best case scenario) or have two people kicked out because one cant afford rent.

    So from here, how do I go about getting my rent back? Do I give two weeks notice and force the other person out (we took the room as a pair) and at least get my deposit back or do I tell the other person I'm moving out and hope that they persuade the other person to give me my deposit and pay my rent?


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