Do some people enjoy abusive relationships?

Dboy85

I saw my neighbours at it the other night and saw the bf punch and header the face off his gf in the middle of the street. It got too much for me to watch so I went out to give him a lesson in manners. She had managed to roll to her car, she couldn't even walk. I went to check on her to make sure she was alright, her face was all swollen and crusted in blood. I told her she didn't have to put up with that kind of stuff and she was receptive but reverted to being aggressive and told me to do one. Apparently he does it to her all the time.

What the feic is the attraction? I generally mind my own business and I felt like a twat afterwards for intervening.

MrStuffins

The abuser does!

Nothin like landing a nice right-cross.

Bing-Pow-Bop!

shampoosuicide

Dboy85 wrote: »

I saw my neighbours at it the other night and saw the bf punch and header the face off his gf in the middle of the street. It got too much for me to watch so I went out to give him a lesson in manners. She had managed to roll to her car, she couldn't even walk. I went to check on her to make sure she was alright, her face was all swollen and crusted in blood. I told her she didn't have to put up with that kind of stuff and she was receptive but reverted to being aggressive and told me to do one. Apparently he does it to her all the time.

What the feic is the attraction? I generally mind my own business and I felt like a twat afterwards for intervening.

just cos she told you to do one doesn't mean she enjoys it. did you give the other fella a good kicking?

Dboy85

shampoosuicide wrote: »

just cos she told you to do one doesn't mean she enjoys it. did you give the other fella a good kicking?

Yeah I got a few digs in before he ran into her house. Dirty coward. Well why does she let the loser hang around then? She's a good lookin woman and she's a teacher too I think.

MrStuffins

Dboy85 wrote: »

Yeah I got a few digs in before he ran into her house. Dirty coward. Well why does she let the loser hang around then? She's a good lookin woman and she's a teacher too I think.

Well maybe she wouldn't be so smart if he wasn't around to teach her a few lessons when she steps outta line!

Cavehill Red

"Never interfere in a boy and girl fight." - William Burroughs. True Nuff.

Either beat the living sh!te out of the fella or call the cops. Or stay out of it.

Dboy85

MrStuffins wrote: »

The abuser does!

Nothin like landing a nice right-cross.

Bing-Pow-Bop!

MrStuffins wrote: »

Well maybe she wouldn't be so smart if he wasn't around to teach her a few lessons when she steps outta line!

I see a trend here. Have you got small man syndrome Give the wife one for me.

Dboy85

Cavehill Red wrote: »

"Never interfere in a boy and girl fight." - William Burroughs. True Nuff.

Wasn't much of a fight in fairness. More like a public flogging.

MrStuffins

Dboy85 wrote: »

I see a trend here. Have you got small man syndrome

Not really. I always feel the big man when laying down the law.

Give the wife one for me.

While I feel it unusual you would come onto the internet and ask me to give your wife one, I will happily oblige!

Guill

Did you report it?
Sometimes people (like said woman) need an escape route from a life long routine of domestic violence, report hime, when the cops call and she is black and blue, it might force a change.

pacquiao

Cavehill Red wrote: »

"Never interfere in a boy and girl fight." - William Burroughs. True Nuff.

Either beat the living sh!te out of the fella or call the cops. Or stay out of it.

I can attest to this

Dboy85

MrStuffins wrote: »

While I feel it unusual you would come onto the internet and ask me to give your wife one, I will happily oblige!

:pac: If you can find a woman who claims to be my wife work away, I'm not married.

Guill wrote: »

Did you report it?.

One of the other neighbours called the swat but they seem more interested in what I did than what was going on there.

pacquiao wrote: »

I can attest to this

Spill the beans then!

Sittingpretty

Saw this happen years ago at a taxi rank, man pushes wife full force onto the ground, taxi driver gets out to defend woman. Woman turns on taxi driver

Oranage2

Guill wrote: »

Did you report it?
Sometimes people (like said woman) need an escape route from a life long routine of domestic violence, report hime, when the cops call and she is black and blue, it might force a change.

Most time the cops show and the wife/girlfriend deny it - ie.

Cops - So what happened?

Girl - I fell.

Cops - you sure, do you want to press charges?

Girl - No.


Next week -

Cops - So what happened?

Girl - I fell.

Cops - you sure, do you want to press charges?

Girl - No.

Next month -

Cops - So what happened?

Girl - I fell.

Cops - you sure, do you want to press charges?

Girl - No.

Next year -

Cops - So what happened?

Girl - I fell.

Cops - you sure, do you want to press charges?

Girl - No.

Pdfile

not many enjoy the hitting part, but its the parts running up and afterwards i'd assume...


herself being a bitch all the time then this happens:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGRYJgDJNpQ

up for anything

There are very few people who enjoy abusive relationships. Most of the people abused, both women and men, stay in the relationship for reasons other than enjoyment. Even the abusers don't enjoy their own behaviour. :rolleyes:

Sindri

You should try and talk to the woman in a friendly manner, ask her if she needs counselling and if she is aggressive to you as I suspect she will be hold your corner and don't give up.

Eventually she will agree.

Dboy85

Sindri wrote: »

You should try and talk to the woman in a friendly manner, ask her if she needs counselling and if she is aggressive to you as I suspect she will be hold your corner and don't give up.

Eventually she will agree.

I couldn't give a toss at this stage, I don't feel an ounce of pity for someone who doesn't help themselves when given the opportunity. I'm starting to believe some women enjoy it to an extent.

MagicSean

You're lucky she didnt try run you over.

Sindri

Dboy85 wrote: »

I couldn't give a toss at this stage, I don't feel an ounce of pity for someone who doesn't help themselves when given the opportunity. I'm starting to believe some women enjoy it to an extent.

Women don't enjoy being hit. That's completely ridiculous. Some women don't know what to do in these situations, others can and will call the police.

Some women are drawn to abusive relationships because that is the only thing they know and as that abuse is what they have learned to cope with it becomes perceived as a norm to them, they become drawn to these relationships. But that does not mean they like them.

You may already have intervened but why would you let it continue?

up for anything

Dboy85 wrote: »

I couldn't give a toss at this stage, I don't feel an ounce of pity for someone who doesn't help themselves when given the opportunity. I'm starting to believe some women enjoy it to an extent.

I think your feelings are hurt because you believe your knight in shining armour actions fell flat.

Gonzor

When I was younger this girl I fancied the life out of asked me would I let her hit me a a slap across the face in public. I said no obviously. And she asked again and again and again.... and then one day in the shopping center, she stops walking, I turn around to see why she stopped and I get an awful belt on the face. I saw red and screamed "ya f**king b!tch" and next thing I know, out of nowhere I was rugby tackled to the ground and got three solid punches to the face, breaking my nose.

SOme random guy passing 'heard' the slap, turned round and and saw me in a fit of rage and saw her standing there bricking it and put 2 and 2 together and assumed I had hit her and was about to do it again. Ah well, at the least he got jailed anyway. WHo says criminals always get off.

Oh and the girl secretly knew how much I fancied her, so about a week later she called round to the house to do some making up .... and then she made a habbit out of it and called around nearly every week for about a year after that until she left town for college :L Shes forgiven.

Dboy85

Sindri wrote: »

Women don't enjoy being hit. That's completely ridiculous. You may already have intervened but why would you let it continue?

I'm not talking about enjoying physical abuse. I'm talking about being completely dominated. I was just wondering what the attraction is. I'm not explicitly talking about women either.

up for anything wrote: »

I think your feelings are hurt because you believe your knight in shining armour actions fell flat.

Yeah probably, if I wasn't involved with someone else I probably would of expected some form of sex. A hand job at least.

Gonzor wrote: »

Oh and the girl secretly knew how much I fancied her, so about a week later she called round to the house to do some making up .... and then she made a habbit out of it and called around nearly every week for about a year after that until she left town for college :L Shes forgiven.

She's sounds like a crazy bird, but strangely attractive. I'd say she was the one who enjoyed the dominating

mconigol

Dboy85 wrote: »

I'm not talking about enjoying physical abuse. I'm talking about being completely dominated. I was just wondering what the attraction is. I'm not explicitly talking about women either.



Yeah probably, if I wasn't involved with someone else I probably would of expected some form of sex. A hand job at least.



She's sounds like a crazy bird, but strangely attractive. I'd say she was the one who enjoyed the dominating

Yeah she'd definitely gone. No need to worry there.

Ellis Dee

It's a pity you didn't have a camera phone handy and make a video of him hitting and kicking her. That's what I would have done for a short while - enough to get a couple of punches on tape as evidence - before calling the cops. In most European jurisdictions nowadays, a prosecution can ensue even if the alleged victim does not demand it.:)

In addition, the video would be crucial evidence and having it on TouTube or some similar social medium might have the same deterrent effect on abusive partners as the recent spate of YouTube videos has probably had on racists.:D:D

Dboy85

Ellis Dee wrote: »

the same deterrent effect on abusive partners as the recent spate of YouTube videos has probably had on racists.:D:D

:pac:

Sindri

Dboy85 wrote: »

I'm not talking about enjoying physical abuse. I'm talking about being completely dominated. I was just wondering what the attraction is. I'm not explicitly talking about women either.

If your talking about sexual dynamics you would be correct. The natural tendency of women is that they want to be wanted. And in most cultures women, while maybe not actually more submissive than men, as they play an equal role in choosing a partner, it is usually the cultural norm that women are expected or believed to be so during courtship.

But within a relationship, while each partner has their role, women expect to be valued and equally treated, as does anyone. And while women, not all, want to be dominated in some ways (isteach an leaba) it is not through violence.

Feisar

I doubt anyone likes being hit but do some people get a kick of the drama surrounding it???

It's strange how every woman says they would be gone in a flash if it ever happened them but so many stay in these relationships.

What causes men to be abusive? Were they always like this, did they beat up their little brother/sister? Or do romantic relationships bring out a certain type of asshole?

Frank Black

Feisar wrote: »

I doubt anyone likes being hit but do some people get a kick of the drama surrounding it???

It's strange how every woman says they would be gone in a flash if it ever happened them but so many stay in these relationships.

What causes men to be abusive? Were they always like this, did they beat up their little brother/sister? Or do romantic relationships bring out a certain type of asshole?

Gotta love the generalisations:rolleyes:

Sunnyisland

Every week a friend of mine has a huge row with his partner,It can be over anything,Last week she gave him a slap in the pub and he slapped her back,This is all happening in front of people.He left but by wednesday they were back together,They are with each other 4 years and in there late 30,s,No one gets involved or trys to help in anyway anymore as its become to be expected,There are bets on when the next big row will happen,christmas day or new years.

Feisar

black francis wrote: »

Gotta love the generalisations:rolleyes:

This thread is about a man who beat his partner. That's what I'm discussing.

What did you come here to do? Pick up on grammar and "oh my godz" someone generalized!!!

Yes I know women abuse men, or I probably should say people abuse people but your being a bit pedantic.

Frank Black

Feisar wrote: »

This thread is about a man who beat his partner. That's what I'm discussing.

What did you come here to do? Pick up on grammar and "oh my godz" someone generalized!!!

Yes I know women abuse men, or I probably should say people abuse people but your being a bit pedantic.

I'd rather be pedantic that make insulting generalisations.

Are you annoyed because you got picked up on your misandranistic post?

Feisar

Again, this thread is about a man hitting a woman. That's what I was discussing so I don't see how I was at fault.

Aside from that, yes I'd rather make a few generalizations than be pedantic.

Frank Black

Feisar wrote: »

Again, this thread is about a man hitting a woman. That's what I was discussing so I don't see how I was at fault.

Aside from that, yes I'd rather make a few generalizations than be pedantic.

Ok, well let me explain it for you so.

You didn't say "What caused this man to be abusive", you didn't say "What causes some men to be abusive"

You said "What causes men to be abusive?"

If you think you can post such rubbish and not be called up on it, you're deluded.

You should choose your words more carefully when talking about such an emotive subject.

theg81der

Yes, people seem to like abusive relationships. Its complex but basicly their all metal!

I like Samantha from sex and the city`s take on relationships -
Good relationship =
Bad relationship =

(theres no emotocon for blood, cuts and bruises all over your face cause it shouldn`t even be an option!!!)

Feisar

Yes, what causes men to be abusive??? What's the problem?

I as a man have a metal block when it comes to hitting women as I'm sure a lot of men do. I don't think women are the same in this regard so I asked about men hitting women.

Which this thread is about.

Your making a mountain out of a molehill. Your going on as if I've come out with some sort of outlandish comment.

Dudess

theg81der wrote: »

Yes, people seem to like abusive relationships. Its complex but basicly their all metal!

Huh?

Maybe they don't enjoy it - maybe their self esteem is so chipped away they become dependent on their abuser because they believe they don't deserve anyone else.
As you say, it's complex.

Sunnyisland

IMO a lot of people stay in abusive relationships as they get stuck mentality in that they have no where to go,that this is somewhat normal and to be expected and sure its not that bad, Also not all abusive relationships include physical violence.



Is this AH ?

theg81der

Dudess wrote: »

Huh?

Maybe they don't enjoy it - maybe their self esteem is so chipped away they become dependent on their abuser because they believe they don't deserve anyone else.
As you say, it's complex.

Ok I shouldn`t have said like I should have said move towards or subconsciously look for but your being padantic you clearly know what I mean.

Morag

Some people have very twisted ideas about what love is and what relationships are like.
The either dont know better or dont think the deserve better.

IvyTheTerrible

Of course the woman doesn't enjoy it. What happened there was, you intervened, and the woman knew she would get the blame for it later (another beating for her) so she thought she would maybe "get away with it" if she defending her boyfriend.

Why didn't you ring the guards?

Dudess

theg81der wrote: »

Dudess wrote: »

Huh?

Maybe they don't enjoy it - maybe their self esteem is so chipped away they become dependent on their abuser because they believe they don't deserve anyone else.
As you say, it's complex.

Ok I shouldn`t have said like I should have said move towards or subconsciously look for but your being padantic you clearly know what I mean.

No I didn't actually - I just saw the very scientific "They're all mental!"

Frank Black

Feisar wrote: »

Yes, what causes men to be abusive??? What's the problem?

I as a man have a metal block when it comes to women as I'm sure a lot of men do. I don't think women are the same in this regard so I asked about men hitting women.

Which this thread is about.

Your making a mountain out of a molehill. Your going on as if I've come out with some sort of outlandish comment.

I honestly haven't a clue what this means?

theg81der

Dudess wrote: »

No I didn't actually - I just saw the very scientific "They're all mental!"

Agh Dudess its AH and none of us are totally stupid we all know a bit about the low self esteem/childhood issues etc that lead to people seeking out abusive relationships. I`m just lazy!

Duggy747

Ring the cops in a situation like that. The girl wasn't going to start thanking you for saving her in front of her bf, with her only knowing what he's capable of.

I doubt she told you to feck off for the craìc, rather she was covering herself from more beatings.

Women don't like staying in those relationships, alot do think that the abuser can change and that there's a good person beneath while others feel they don't have an escape plan. Sure, they could go to the cops but then they'd think they'd be fearing for their lives wondering if said abuser would ever come and hunt them down.

Scumbags like her bf deserve to be kicked up and down the street.

smash

50% of people in an abusive relationship enjoy it.

sandmanporto

black francis wrote: »

Feisar wrote: »

This thread is about a man who beat his partner. That's what I'm discussing.

What did you come here to do? Pick up on grammar and "oh my godz" someone generalized!!!

Yes I know women abuse men, or I probably should say people abuse people but your being a bit pedantic.

I'd rather be pedantic that make insulting generalisations.

Are you annoyed because you got picked up on your misandranistic post?

Why cant you contribute instead of trolling. I was reading the responses until yours annoyed me!

Feisar

black francis wrote: »

I honestly haven't a clue what this means?

Whoops, I should have said mental block when it comes to hitting women.:o

Frank Black

Duggy747 wrote: »

Scumbags like her bf deserve to be kicked up and down the street.

They probably deserve it all right, but more violence is probably not going to help the situation - people like this should be shamed in front of their community.

Is uploading a video of some guy beating up a girl (as suggested in a previous post) a good or bad idea?

Is it an invasion of the victims privacy?

It would probably force the authorities to take some form of action against the perpetrator.

Feisar

black francis wrote: »

I honestly haven't a clue what this means?

Whoops, I should have said a mental block when it comes to hitting women:o

sandmanporto

black francis wrote: »

Feisar wrote: »

Yes, what causes men to be abusive??? What's the problem?

I as a man have a metal block when it comes to women as I'm sure a lot of men do. I don't think women are the same in this regard so I asked about men hitting women.

Which this thread is about.

Your making a mountain out of a molehill. Your going on as if I've come out with some sort of outlandish comment.

I honestly haven't a clue what this means?

Black francis you are an annoying troll! Discuss the thread NOT the posters!