why do i have feelings of guilt when i have done nothing wrong?

loli1806

Hi all,

I wasn't really going to say anything and this is my first time on this.

I've been seeing my bf for 6yrs and living together for the past 4, although he wanted to move in together after only going out one year and if I'm being honest I wasn't ready to move in with him when I did I just felt guilty for not and thibking to myself ( at the time) its now or never.

Anyways, a friend of mine asked me to go to England for new years and i decided I would. As ive fallen out of the social scene and trying to reconnect with some friends. I feel incredibly guilty as now he has no plans for new years, he too has fallen out of the social scene with his friends. I love him very much and now that I'm going to spend new years with my friends who are single I feel guilt. I have never and will never cheat on my bf so where is this coming from? There is a lot going on in my life to which I'm not going to go into. Let's just say I've decided to tackle issues I have and tramatic experiences growing up. We are complete opposites in that I can overly express myself and he can't express himself.

Is there anyone who can relate to this? And why do i feel guilty??

Curry Addict

you feel partially responsible for his happiness maybe. its a good sign tbh.

butterfly84

You are doing a good thing trying to reconnect with your friends but maybe the guilt is the timing of your trip?I am with my boyfriend almost the same amount of time and we have both been on lots of seperate trips and nights out with our friends.However when it is around the time of xmas,birthdays,anniversary etc I would consider him before making plans on my own.Can you not ask him along for new years with your friends?Of course you are going to feel guilty if you are having fun on one of the biggest nights of the year and he isnt included.

Obviously if he has other plans and is encouraging you to go with your friends then no you dont need to feel guilty.

floorpie

What does moving in with him after 2 years, when he wanted to move in after only 1, have to do with anything? You've been living together for four years now, it's hardly relevant unless you're retroactively looking for reasons why it's ok for you to not feel guilty about going away.

The reason for the guilt is pretty obvious, no? You said it yourself already.

loli1806

Yeah that was pointless thing to say but was just painting a picture.

My bf doesn't believe in new years so he was all for me going. He's brill like that he has never nor will ever hold me back from something I want to do. I guess I feel guilty because new years is associated with couples and this will be the first time away from him for new years.

floorpie

Ah so he encouraged you to go on the trip? That wasn't clear from the first post...

Would he like to go too? No?