How to keep your man interested if he's in another country.

kitten29

This subject has probably already come up before but i'm a newbie and i was wondering if any of you (male and female) have got tips to keep your boyfriend interested and hopefully not stray while they are in another country and i am here in Ireland.

We text, call, videomessage, send sexy pics and it's keeping the flame going but any other tips would be greatly appreciated. . Thanks.

The Lovely Muffin

Is he living abroad, travelling around for a while or on a holiday?

I personally think if a boyfriend/girlfriend etc are going to cheat they will do so, no amount of sexy pics, video calling, texts, calls, emails, messages etc. will stop them from cheating.

We are all responsible for our own behaviour, actions etc so it's not fair to blame distance etc (although it doesn't help) for any cheating.

Long story short: If someone wants to cheat they will - nothing and no one will stop them (in my opinion).

kitten29

Purple_Bobbin wrote: »

Is he living abroad, travelling around for a while or on a holiday?

He's working over there for a few months at a time. He will be back here for a few weeks in march and then over to Australia again. I'm hoping to go over there next year but not in the long term just yet.

He says i am the one and that i'm the only girl he's ever thought of marriage with but i just have trust issues i think and want to keep his head turned in my direction. I know it's hard being so many thousand miles away and yes i know if he wants to cheat he can and i won't be any the wiser unless he tells me. It's hard but we want to make this work.

chickenbutt

Oh girl. I've been there. I am there, actually! I have trust issues as well, and am very wary of other girls and the like. Let me say this, if it happens, it happens, like Purple_Bobbin says. You just have to learn how to trust him, trust his feelings about you, and trust yourself not to go bonkers over everything that may upset you! Even if you do feel upset about him going out one night without you, you gotta learn to hide it. At least for me, if I am upset with my boyfriend on a night out and he's been drinking, it won't end well. I have to keep my mind off it... I go shopping!!! Go to the movies, keep busy with friends, etc.

I've been doing long distance 4 months now. It's been a very long, hard 4 months. We email, text, call, Skype, send dirty pics, and 'mess around' in front of each other. Talk about "fantasies" you might have. There are loads of long distance relationship threads in here that you might be able to catch a few more unique ideas. I like to send letters (steamy, romantic ones :pac:) and little gifts every once in awhile, as well.

If you both want it to work, then I am firm believer that it can work. You have to learn to be honest and trusting. The harder it is to trust the other then the harder it is to maintain a relationship over such a long distance and time period. The likliehood of it lasting is slim. Good luck!

Captain McDuck

Phone sex

LittleBook

kitten29 wrote: »

i just have trust issues i think

This is what you need to be working on as much as how to keep his head turned in your direction. Long distance relationships require a lot of maintenance (which you seem to have under control) and HUGE amounts of trust.

If you don't trust him, no amount of sexy pics and Skype will get you through this.

kitten29

LittleBook wrote: »

If you don't trust him, no amount of sexy pics and Skype will get you through this.

You are right. That is the main thing i have to do. If i don't trust him i'm screwed. But if he adds a girl on Facebook i get quite jealous even when he says it's a work colleague. And i know there's nothing happening with them but it pisses me off that i feel this way.

I really need to put my faith in him. He trusts me 100% and it's only fair i do the same.

Thanks for all your advice

jester77

It's not easy. I was in the same position for 2 years and it was so hard with the time difference. It was tough during the week to keep in contact, but it was much easier when the clocks changed one way, so you would have 6 months where it was nearly impossible to talk and during the other 6 months it was a bit easier. I forget which way it was.

During the first year we only saw each other 3 times and it put a serious strain on the relationship. During the second year we never left more than 6 weeks between visits and this really helped so much & there was always something to look forward to. It took a lot of the pressure off as text messaging & skyping can get overbearing after a while.