Just started seeing someone.. xmas pressies?

LegacyUser

Hey, I’ve been seeing a girl, u could almost call her my girlfriend by now. Been going out with her for 2 months. With xmas coming up, should I include her on the xmas pressies?? and how much should I be spending? Sorry to ask this as it must seem like such a non issue compared to others here, but Im legitimately worried as Ive messed up in the past with an ex by buying too much/ too little at some points.. and had her crying believe it or not on xmas day... Hmm, maybe she's an ex for a reason! Would 150/200 be reasonable amount?

If I had just started going out with someone, especially when you're not "officially" a couple, then I would find it quite weird for someone to spend in the region of €100+ for a Christmas present.

The Lovely Muffin

Hi OP,

I am with my boyfriend five months and we agreed to spend no more than €100 on each other.

I would say as you and your girlfriend aren't together very long maybe go away for a night/weekend and buy each other something small. Or maybe agree to spend €50/€80 on each other.

I personally think €150-€200 is too much considering you aren't together very long.

woodchuck

Yes, I would definitely get her a present!

The amount you ‘should’ spend probably varies depending on your age and how much you earn etc. Personally I would’ve thought a present around the 50euro mark would be about right. I think a 200euro present would be a bit much if you’re only going out 2 months.

A0

€150-200 seems a lot, but regarding buying something, there's no rule, the "official / non-official couple" rule has always made me laugh, as if we could set pragmatic-strict rules when it comes to feelings... It all depends on you, your feelings, if you like offering presents (i find it enjoyable) and, of course, your budget. I think if I had a gf just a week before X-mas, I'd buy her something anyway...

tinkerbell

€50 is plenty, you've only been going out 2 months!

Hersheys

Why don't you ask her what she wants to do about Christmas presents? Just bring it up casually and see what she says - she'll be the one who's upset if you get the wrong thing, so why not ask her?!

Daisy M

Maybe it would be better to focus on getting her something she would really like rather than how much to spend. If you choose something that is 30e or 200e it shouldnt matter if you know its something that suits her.

Maple

Personally, I think that's an excessive amount to spend given you've only been seeing one another such a short length of time.

You really just want something to mark the occasion, just recognise it, I'd be going with a token gift really for the minute.

dory

€150-€200 is definitely excessive. Something small and meaningful would be great. €50 should be more than enough.

going un-reg

What is it about people spending a certain amount of money for presents? Why do people focus so much on that?

It should be about the relation the present has to the person, it's the thought that counts. The thing you get her could just cost you 5 euros, yet it could mean something special.

Put thought into it, not a money figure. I did a comic strip for an ex of mine of our first date. Didn't cost me a penny and she nearly cried (in a good way).

All advice thus far, minus those telling you not to spend THAT much, is fairly moot, and I rarely say such things.

leeroybrown

Thought not money is the key regardless of how much you spend. After a couple of months with someone you should be building up an idea of what they like and would appreciate. Some of the best birthday/christmas gifts I've received would have cost very little but had some thought put into them. The best one probably cost around €2.50.

Colonel_McCoy

get her a bottle of perfume

Yumee

Buy her some goodies from the shop 'Lush' to go with the perfume! It shows thought and won't cost too much more:)

orchidsrpretty

Second the bottle of perfume, or tickets to go to a show that you would both like and make a night of it. I love recieving tickets as a gift.

solovely

I'm going out with a guy just over 2 months, and have spent about €130 on presents for him. No idea what he's spending on me. It is a tricky one. If she's broke, don't go overboard as you don't want to embarrass her if she can't afford the same.

Tickets are a good idea, but don't go for something too far into the future in case it freaks her out.

Definitely think you should be buying a present, and maybe drop a few hints so she knows that you are, and isn't wondering what the protocol is....just a few comments about how you're going Christmas shopping, so you hope she's been a good girl, that sort of stuff...

PTH2009

Ok im with the girlfriend for 5 months now and she siad to me we should only buy small presents for each other for xmas (20/30 euro limit).

What pisses me off is that her male friend of 16 years bought her a phone and perfurme for xmas

So far i bought her that kylie minoge perfume thing and cant find anything else.

Its kind of annoying to me that her best friend is buying her better xmas presents than i am :mad::mad:.

shoes34

PTH2009 wrote: »

Its kind of annoying to me that her best friend is buying her better xmas presents than i am :mad::mad:.

She asked you not to spend much on her and a budget of €20/€30 was enough. It shouldn't matter what her friend is getting her she will remember what you brought her. I wouldn't go over it by much and you have only been going out 5 months he is friend of 16 years.

Monkey61

I don't think the cost of a present really has anything to do with it. Go with something meaningful instead.

Obviously it depends on the person, but myself and my girlfriend always make eachother stuff for Christmas, birthdays etc - stuff related to us, to our relationship, silly stuff that takes a bit of time and effort but is far more meaningful than something anybody can walk into a shop and buy in two minutes.

As it has only been 2 months, and I'm not sure how well you know eachother, how serious it is etc., try and think of something small, but something that she would really appreciate and that demonstrates how well you know her. It is always lovely to receive a present that really shows someone pays attention to you. As an example, well over a year ago I casually mentioned in conversation how much I would love to watch a sporting event from the 80s that I saw as a child. On my birthday this year, part of my present was a dvd of it that I didn't even know existed - I don't know how she even remembered because it was such a brief mention. But I was so touched I almost cried!

Sleepy

Two words: vintage jewellery

Longer answer: you can buy really lovely vintage stuff for surprisingly little money and regardless of how much she's spent, it's really difficult for a non expert to accurately gauge the price of it so she'll have no idea what you spent on it .

A0

PTH2009 wrote: »

Ok im with the girlfriend for 5 months now and she siad to me we should only buy small presents for each other for xmas (20/30 euro limit).

What pisses me off is that her male friend of 16 years bought her a phone and perfurme for xmas

So far i bought her that kylie minoge perfume thing and cant find anything else.

Its kind of annoying to me that her best friend is buying her better xmas presents than i am :mad::mad:.

Weird... Keep an eye on this male "friend".

mathproblem

I would bring up the issue with the girl if i was in your place. Then I would agree on an amount to spend on each other.

Then I would spend somewhere between 150% - 200% of the agreed amount on her. No need to lay out the cost of things after the gift giving, she will know - just play coy! btw it's not enough to spend money you should know what it is that she will be wanting - has she dropped no clues? ask her friends?

(You should recieve your extra 50% back on christmas night in "payment in kind" if you play it right)

ted1

weekend down the coutry is always goes down a treat..

shellyboo

I have been going out with my boyfriend for two years and I would consider €200 excessive, tbh. If you're going to buy her something, €50 is absolutely plenty. However, if you really want to splash out, the weekend away suggestion is a great one. Make it for some weekend in January so you don't have too long to wait, it's something you can both enjoy, and it's difficult to put a value on. Also you don't have to worry about getting her something she'll definitely like when you don't know her all that well!

missbelle

Definitely discuss with her what the story is, and set a limit. What if you spent over 100 euro on her,and she gets you a small token gift, she would feel awful :P

cazzzzz

sunflower27 wrote: »

I saw a beautiful Newbridge necklace today for 20e. Really simple and elegant.


Edit: I actually bought the necklace as part of the present to my mum. I looked at it again today for a friend of mine as I'm deciding to buy another one, and no, I don't work for Newbridge, I'm just a great shopper

So weird, I bought the exact same necklace for a friend's 21st and couldn't believe how good it was for 20e.
I love bargains, especially at Christmas time.

OP- 50e is perfect as you've only been going out for 2 months, it's more than enough

cazzzzz

ted1 wrote: »

weekend down the coutry is always goes down a treat..

A weekend down the country is going to cost in and around 200e anyway, considering hotel, meals out, doing stuff during the day etc.

50e is plenty.

krudler

A0 wrote: »

Weird... Keep an eye on this male "friend".

yeah, cos all guys who want to shag women spend 16 years as friends first, jesus, paranoia much?

A0

krudler wrote: »

yeah, cos all guys who want to shag women spend 16 years as friends first, jesus, paranoia much?

Haha! Don't be annoyed, that's the way it is

Yes, PTH2009, keep an eye on him... Sounds weird to buy a perfume and phone to a good friend. Ok, to buy books or basic things (DVD, CD may be).

LegacyUser

I think 150-200 is far too much. That is the limit my bf and I have set and we are going out for 8 years!!

I think 50e max, but make it something thoughtful. The Newbridge necklace that has been mentioned before is really lovely and is only 20e, so you could still buy a few other bits and pieces. Check that she likes silver jewellery first though. I don't wear silver and the amount of silver jewellery I have been given over the years is huge!

liz2

going un-reg wrote: »

What is it about people spending a certain amount of money for presents? Why do people focus so much on that?

It should be about the relation the present has to the person, it's the thought that counts. The thing you get her could just cost you 5 euros, yet it could mean something special.

Put thought into it, not a money figure.

yup, i second this.. ive only been seeing a guy a few weeks & we've decided to get each other something small, to mark the occasion. im a 'the thought that counts' person. i don't believe in getting someone a pressie for the sake of it, i put a bit of thought into it whether it be 5, 20, 30e etc
ive heard him mention this film that he's mad to see on dvd, so im gonna get him that.. it might sound corny but i know he'd appreciate it
good luck with the pressie buying

Feisar

Mate of mine is just starting to see a girl. They agreed not to do prezzies, he got her a mug and some nice gourmet hot chocolate. Just a thought.

I got my GF of almost two years a Swarowski necklace bob thingy this time two years ago and we weren't going out at the time. we had kissed and been on a few dates.
She wasn't going home for Xmas and I invited her down to my family for the holiday. Xmas is no biggy in our house, most of us do be together every other weekend anyway. I wanted her to be included when people were opening presents etc. Good job because she had got me stuff!

Eh not sure if that's any help, just a flavor of what people do.

CathyMoran

Many years ago my husband and I started dating in November - he got me a huge teddybear for Christmas our first year - at the time I thought that it was too much but on reflection I love that he got it for me, it is very me, he got me a thoughtful present. OP it is not the cost of the gift it is the thought that goes into it.