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LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

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  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,232 Mod ✭✭✭✭ L.Jenkins


    Makapakka wrote: »
    Does anyone ever feel like super agitated/restless or tense? Can feel it all over your body even if you're in a relaxed atmosphere and not under pressure.. I feel like my system is screaming.. not in pain though. It's just like AWAKE and won't calm down.. I swear, I hate this illness.

    I become restless in a sense, where I could go on full session cleaning the house and gardens in one day. Anyone else who is well managed, become somewhat anxious?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 97 ✭✭✭ Laeot


    Hello all.
    Christmas can be a lovely time but just remember that if you don't feel festive and full of cheer like 'most' people then you are not alone. It can be hard putting on a front when you are feeling low or empty inside.
    Keep well all...


  • Registered Users Posts: 312 ✭✭ Makapakka


    How do you accept your anxiety? I think it's worse than depression, it's so annoying, it puts a dampener on things. I was playing with my daughter and laughing and having fun, but there was a niggle in my head over something, nothing, I don't know. It's worry about worrying. I let my mind get too worked up about things, thinking I have depersonalisation now.. and I let myself build that worry by reading things and thinking I have all these symptoms.. worry about worry.. I have good days, I can accept them. I am trying to accept the bad days, but it's HARD. I am starting cbt next week. I know looking at the anxiety as a bad thing is the root of my anxiety hahah.. it's just about focusing on the good things


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,521 ✭✭✭✭ mansize


    In Paris - feeling much more relaxed


  • Registered Users Posts: 553 phenom


    Makapakka wrote: »
    How do you accept your anxiety? I think it's worse than depression, it's so annoying, it puts a dampener on things. I was playing with my daughter and laughing and having fun, but there was a niggle in my head over something, nothing, I don't know. It's worry about worrying. I let my mind get too worked up about things, thinking I have depersonalisation now.. and I let myself build that worry by reading things and thinking I have all these symptoms.. worry about worry.. I have good days, I can accept them. I am trying to accept the bad days, but it's HARD. I am starting cbt next week. I know looking at the anxiety as a bad thing is the root of my anxiety hahah.. it's just about focusing on the good things


    No mental health issue is worse than the other my friend. All can lead to very dark places. Its about accepting the situation you are in . Try some techniques to deal with your anxiety .....one that you finds works for you. Its easy to say "try no to worry" but certainly not as easy to put that into practice. I would recommend a 10 minute meditation to start of with, the Headspace app is a great place to start. Also a worry in your head is always going to be 100 times worse than reality. Im sure you look back at certain situations in your life you will realize this.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 157 ✭✭ tomthetank


    I think i might be depressed. I have a decent job no money worries an incredible family and noone on the outside would think it possible, but some days I just stay in bed all day. Literally all day. if I have nowhere to be like work and no big commitments and my oh is working and wont be over until later, i will stay in bed until sometimes 6pm and have a big internal argument with myself about being a lazy useless heap of crap for not being able to do anything about it.

    I don't think i like myself very much. i live abroad and have few friends here, most of them are back in ireland, and i have pretty much no social life outside of the time i spend with my boyfriend. i am consumed by worries and stresses as i get older too (31) about how i am ever going to move up in life - afford a mortgage, get back to ireland (which has no real job prospects for me), have a family, get my life together. I'm ok financially but basically living the life of a 20 year old, renting a room in some stranger's house and despite saving years away from being able to achieve any of these things.

    the problem is there is no room for depression in my life. I have a very mentally unwell sibling 100% dependent on my parents and another sibling who has already gone through depression. i have always been the "Stable" one, the one my ageing parents don't need to worry about, the one who can sort herself out. I've found myself isolating myself from people as a result, it's easier to let people down through lack of contact than to face my issues head on, which i don't feel equipped to do really at the moment. i can't face the reality of being someone with depression. a lot of the time i don't think im depressed and just someone who is excessively selfish and lazy, someone with a victim complex. what's the difference really?

    Anyway sorry for the ramble. Today is really the first day I've said (written) it aloud, admitted that there very well may be a problem.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 53,909 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Gremlinertia


    Be proud of posting, no matter what there's always someone here for you. It's very brave to face problems especially when you are in another country, hopefully you'll get some relief from talking more about things, take care..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 248 ✭✭ Cartouche


    I find the title of this thread a bit unfair to be honest
    we dont "All Laugh" at people with depression !


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,746 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Insect Overlord


    Cartouche wrote: »
    I find the title of this thread a bit unfair to be honest
    we dont "All Laugh" at people with depression !

    Did you have a read of the opening post at all? No?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,010 La.de.da


    Cartouche wrote: »
    I find the title of this thread a bit unfair to be honest
    we dont "All Laugh" at people with depression !

    It's really just a little cliche in the title.
    It's a less informal thread set up by the Devore (director of boards). It reaches out to a wide community.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 97 ✭✭✭ Laeot


    Cartouche wrote: »
    I find the title of this thread a bit unfair to be honest
    we dont "All Laugh" at people with depression !
    It's entirely tongue-in-cheek !
    It's a nice thread to drop in to on occasion and it really demonstrates that one is not alone with this illness...


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,545 ✭✭✭ windy shepard henderson


    It's laughed at by small minded people where I come from

    If someone's going through a hard time acting strange or out of character the reaction from some is to gossip and say things like yer man is acting strange lately or yer man ain't right in the head to they easy option that's taken after somone sadly takes there life by branding them as selfish....

    The reality is far too many people have all the answers as regards depression or anxiety and are very quick to judge ...and not so quick to help

    Until people's attitude changes sadly the title remains perfect towards the small minded


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,584 ✭✭✭ Rekop dog


    To be fair it is a needlessly attention seeking and hyperbolic title.


  • Registered Users Posts: 553 phenom


    tomthetank wrote: »
    I think i might be depressed. I have a decent job no money worries an incredible family and noone on the outside would think it possible, but some days I just stay in bed all day. Literally all day. if I have nowhere to be like work and no big commitments and my oh is working and wont be over until later, i will stay in bed until sometimes 6pm and have a big internal argument with myself about being a lazy useless heap of crap for not being able to do anything about it.

    I don't think i like myself very much. i live abroad and have few friends here, most of them are back in ireland, and i have pretty much no social life outside of the time i spend with my boyfriend. i am consumed by worries and stresses as i get older too (31) about how i am ever going to move up in life - afford a mortgage, get back to ireland (which has no real job prospects for me), have a family, get my life together. I'm ok financially but basically living the life of a 20 year old, renting a room in some stranger's house and despite saving years away from being able to achieve any of these things.

    the problem is there is no room for depression in my life. I have a very mentally unwell sibling 100% dependent on my parents and another sibling who has already gone through depression. i have always been the "Stable" one, the one my ageing parents don't need to worry about, the one who can sort herself out. I've found myself isolating myself from people as a result, it's easier to let people down through lack of contact than to face my issues head on, which i don't feel equipped to do really at the moment. i can't face the reality of being someone with depression. a lot of the time i don't think im depressed and just someone who is excessively selfish and lazy, someone with a victim complex. what's the difference really?

    Anyway sorry for the ramble. Today is really the first day I've said (written) it aloud, admitted that there very well may be a problem.

    First off all after reading this post I can not believe the posts above this regarding the name this thread. Here is a person that is looking for help yet a name of a thread is more important?


    Anyway Hi There,

    Well done on what you did here, Realizing there maybe something there is the first step, How your going to change this should be your next.
    Material things like money etc do not bring happiness , you could have all the money in the world yet feel like you have nothing. Having Purpose and Self Worth mean , good surroundings i.e family and friends are worth more than any amount of money could ever buy.

    You say you argue with yourself about being lazy and useless because you stay in bed. If this is the case then you already know you shouldn't be doing this so why do it? What is physically stopping you ? You have put your self in a position that you know is not right so you have the power to get out of it. Get up go for a walk , take a hobby up... anything that can keep you busy on those boring weekends, I don't know you but from what you have said I can already tell you you are not lazy nor useless.


    You also say that your siblings have had mental health problems and that you feel as you are the "stable one" Every person can go through bad patches in their life, Why should you feel you should be stable? Accept the situation you are in and learn from it, You will be a stronger person for it. Talking is a great way to get across how you are feeling, If you feel as if you do not have anyone close enough that may understand what your feeling, There is no shame in seeking help from a professional . You are not the first and will not be the last my friend.

    With every negative comes a positive remember that . When a negative thought comes into your head replace it with a positive thought, try meditation it is brilliant for stress and you will feel great off it.


    We all go through bad times in our life but you are the only one that can change it. Best of luck and fair play to you.


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,414 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ DeVore


    Re: the title. I hope it shocks you. We're far too complacent about mental health problems in this country. We also treat them like a death sentence so the title works on another level, we can remove the stigma by the use of levity. It was a joke at my own expense, when I wrote the piece I didn't know that other people would write their stories here, that has been the great gift of this thread to me, other peoples stories which of course are no laughing matter, I intended only to laugh at my own depression and give it all the solemnity IT deserves, which is none what-so-ever.

    TomTheTank, yes you sound classically depressed but I AM NOT A PSYCHOLOGIST.
    It sounds very very much like my situation tho and I responded the same way (spoiler: it doesn't work).

    It sounds like you need to speak to someone. I really REALLY strongly suggest you see a counsellor. Like, now. This week. No putting it off.
    I had to be *dragged* to see one. I HATED the idea, hated it with a passion. But when I got into it, I committed whole-heartedly to it on the grounds that "well, if I MUST do this, I might as well give it a decent shot".

    Turns out I really enjoyed it (if that's the right word)... it helped me unravel a few things from my past, identify a few things in my present and armed me with the weapons I needed to fight back and deal with it.
    It doesn't mean I'm "cured", but now I know what to do and how to "head it off at the pass" and that's made a world of a difference. PLease please go to see a counsellor. It'll be like 60 bucks an hour and you will get a lot from it if you commit to it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,172 ✭✭✭ taxAHcruel


    I got a wonderful - elaborate - and probably quite expensive home made new years gift for someone this January. The thought that went into choosing what to make - how they made it - and why they made it was exceptionally deep. And they presented it to me on new years day rather than Christmas Day because I am non-religious and they thought it would be the more meaningful of the two days.

    All I did for this person was include them in my weekly guided meditation group. But as someone who suffers from depression they informed me Vipassana Meditation has done them the world of good. I wonder if it helps anyone else here. I hope so.

    I have noticed in general though that people with issues around depression tend to be the more thoughtful - deep - giving - and generous people I know. Perhaps a coincidental correlation - or perhaps something real - who knows.


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,414 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ DeVore


    I've noted this with people who have been through pain in their lives. Anything from addiction to physical injury to mental health. I believe it makes people more empathic and more understanding that we ALL FIGHT HARD BATTLES.


    The greatest lie, and therefore the greatest weapon depression has, is the lie that our pain doesn't matter. That we are being lazy, selfish, self-obsessed snowflakes who need to get on with our lives etc... this is a great weapon for depression because it simultaneously degrades us and our confidence in ourselves, while also telling us that we're worthless, useless and there is no point in trying to find a solution. It will only end up making things worse like we always do.

    This is a great big fncking lie.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 53,909 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Gremlinertia


    When you spend a long time suffering from an illness, anything that causes problems in your life or is disruptive enough to derail it completely, you often find you think a lot more about things, all things.. Contemplation of yourself and those around you i think automatically leads to more understanding which is a large part of this empathy. Of course that's just my experience of myself and a few around me..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,010 La.de.da


    DeVore wrote: »
    I've noted this with people who have been through pain in their lives. Anything from addiction to physical injury to mental health. I believe it makes people more empathic and more understanding that we ALL FIGHT HARD BATTLES.


    The greatest lie, and therefore the greatest weapon depression has, is the lie that our pain doesn't matter. That we are being lazy, selfish, self-obsessed snowflakes who need to get on with our lives etc... this is a great weapon for depression because it simultaneously degrades us and our confidence in ourselves, while also telling us that we're worthless, useless and there is no point in trying to find a solution. It will only end up making things worse like we always do.

    This is a great big fncking lie.

    This is very true. The energy used to fight those bastard thoughts and trying to find peace is what leaves you exhausted. I'd put up with physical pain any given day over the pain of mental illness.


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,414 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ DeVore


    La.de.da wrote: »
    This is very true. The energy used to fight those bastard thoughts and trying to find peace is what leaves you exhausted. I'd put up with physical pain any given day over the pain of mental illness.
    In many ways, the only way to win is to not fight. I thought I was a terrible person sometimes because of those nagging/corrosive/negative thoughts. But when I went to counselling I learned that I am not those thoughts, I'm my actions and thinking AROUND those thoughts.
    When I considered myself as *that* , I realised this was my enemy and why would you trust anything your enemy says.. why even give it the time of day.

    So now when I get the "you are useless and everything you touch will turn to ****"... I mentally sigh, yawn, and think "is that so..." in a very sarcastic way and then just continue with what I was doing. Its surprisingly effective! :)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 746 ✭✭✭ Starokan


    This is a great thread when your feeling low

    I've been spiralling downward in the last few weeks \ days , I have the answers in that I know what I should be doing but somehow can't implement the techniques etc

    I am going to take the advice I've seen and given and will visit my doc next week to get reference for counselor in my area

    Hoping to avoid meds if at all possible but won't rule out either if needed


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 Hugo Stiglitz


    Starokan wrote: »
    This is a great thread when your feeling low

    I've been spiralling downward in the last few weeks \ days , I have the answers in that I know what I should be doing but somehow can't implement the techniques etc

    I am going to take the advice I've seen and given and will visit my doc next week to get reference for counselor in my area

    Hoping to avoid meds if at all possible but won't rule out either if needed

    I hope things improve there soon, buddy.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,013 stop animal cruelty


    DeVore. Another great post by u, im writing that one down...


  • Registered Users Posts: 312 ✭✭ Makapakka


    For anyone who has done cbt for anxiety, did the idea of actually doing the work scare you a little bit?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,010 La.de.da


    Makapakka wrote: »
    For anyone who has done cbt for anxiety, did the idea of actually doing the work scare you a little bit?

    Yes. Very much so. Small steps maka. Smallest obstacle first.

    Hope it works out for you :-)


  • Registered Users Posts: 312 ✭✭ Makapakka


    La.de.da wrote: »
    Yes. Very much so. Small steps maka. Smallest obstacle first.

    Hope it works out for you :-)

    Can I ask why?


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,414 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ DeVore


    I wouldn't say that doing the work scared me , the idea of going to counselling initially was not one I relished and frankly I wouldn't have gone if I hadn't basically been forced to! After I went a few times I actually came to enjoy the sessions (in a sense) and my anxiety no longer bothered me so much. If anything I felt a bit less anxious because I felt more equipped to fight back and handle things...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,010 La.de.da


    Makapakka wrote: »
    Can I ask why?

    It was all new and much of it outside my comfort zone.

    It was easier(still is some days) to curl up on the sofa or in bed in fear/dread than face the demons and go outside even for a 5min walk.
    But the skills and work learned through cbt have made it more manageable. Invaluable to me in my opinion.


  • Registered Users Posts: 312 ✭✭ Makapakka


    La.de.da wrote: »
    It was all new and much of it outside my comfort zone.

    It was easier(still is some days) to curl up on the sofa or in bed in fear/dread than face the demons and go outside even for a 5min walk.
    But the skills and work learned through cbt have made it more manageable. Invaluable to me in my opinion.

    Yeah that's it. It's new, unknown, and I'm actually facing things head on rather than ignoring them!


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  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,414 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ DeVore


    That sounds great... you are dealing with it (and yeah sometimes it might not feel like that but you are, even when you might feel like you aren't... in fact maybe even more so on those days!).

    Great to hear you have join the resistance, don't let this thing take your life, fight back and get armed up.


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