made a mess of it

LegacyUser

I'm in a fairy new relationship of about two months or at least I was until last night .

We were both out seperatly last night but met up afterwards to go to mine. I was drunk and he wasn't. I got sort of upset and in trying to explain why I think I may have insulted him. The problem is that I'm insecure in the relationship but it's my own fault and nothing to do with his actions, however I think I may have made it out to be his fault last night. I got so upset. Then he left.

When I woke up this morning I though it was a dream. I checked my calls and it appears i rang him after i got home but I don't remember. I don't really remember anything clearly.

I text him an apologised as soon as I got up (which was early, I don't get hangovers) but he hasn't replied. I feel terrible, I'm so upset and I don't know what to do, should i text him again?

dellas1979

Well now, I hope you learned a lesson about drinking alcohol to the point where you literally blank out/have no recollection. So, I hope this stings a bit and you learn something from it.

Have no idea then why youd pipe up and say "I dont get hangovers". Whats that got to do with getting plastered, fighting/crying with your bf, and passing out? You sound about 17. Maybe you are.

In any case, leave him alone. Youve apologised. Give him space. In apologising you are showing that you realise youve done something wrong, and if ye do stay together, he will most definitely want to know that this isnt going to happen again.

Miss Fluff

I'd give him some space. He's probably horrified at the way you carried on so leave him to his own thoughts and let him come back to you. You've apologised and that's all you can do for the time being.

LegacyUser

Hi it's the op again.
So he eventually replied. Long story short, he said he was really pissed off but he'd forgiven me. Surely this should reassure me, I acted crazy but still he wants to go out with me, but in fact it's the opposite, I'm clearly a f*cking lunatic why does he still like me? How can I get over these insecurities before they ruin everything?

We were supposed to meet up tonight but I think he's still annoyed at me. I know he said he's not but he is acting really strangely. Like, I have things to do but I can't do anything until I know what I'm doing later (which he knows) and he just wont give me a definitive answer.

I'm so nervous about seeing him later, I've been crying pretty much since Saturday morning and I know I'm going to cry when I apologise in person, which I know will piss him off even more. I'm just such a mess I don't know what to do.

Miss Fluff

In the nicest possible way, you seriously need to cop yourself on. You've had a drunken argument and he obviously likes you if he is willing to overlook it. Understandable if he is still a bit vexed if you acted appallingly but he still wants to be your boyfriend.

If you continue on with the (sober) histrionics he is going to think you're chicken oriental. Apologise to him in person but park the dramatics. Tell him you're sorry but don't keep rehashing the argument as no good will come of it. Just promise him not to get drunk again if it's going to make you misbehave.

Katgurl

Phone hima and ask where and when for tonight. If he is humming and hawwing suggest you leave it for another night.

Don't contact him till you meet. Turn up on time, don't expect him to collect you, show you've make an effort with your appearance etc. Sit him down when you arrive and apologize for getting so horrendously drunk, say you are embarrassed about it, you didn't mean the things you said and you won't be getting drunk like that again. Be sincere ie DONT get drunk like that again. Tell him it's all a bit fuzzy, you might have said something and it might be ringing in his ears, talk it out, if that is the case. Then ask him can you put it behind you.

Then move on, don't mention it again, enjoy your evening and enjoy your relationship.

Mighty_Mouse

A man's perspective.
2months is way to short a time for this type of hyper-emotion.
The question he'll ask himself is "Is it worth the hassle?"

If he say's it's forgotton, what he means is:
"I like this girl, I won't scrap a potential good thing over 1 night".
If it happens again, he may do a runner.

Basically, learn yer lessons.
You're obviously drinking until you're wildly out of control which is a serious turn-off in anybody.

I'm so nervous about seeing him later, I've been crying pretty much since Saturday morning and I know I'm going to cry when I apologise in person, which I know will piss him off even more. I'm just such a mess I don't know what to do.

Pull yourself together.
The problem is your drinking.
Easily fixed by counting your drinks & knowing your limits.

LegacyUser

Op again, just one last thing.

I have calmed down and stopped dwelling on it. He cancelled last night but I'm fairly sure he was being genuine and I'm trying not to over analyse.

The thing is, I didn't want to mention it earlier, but I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I suffer from depression (and also the drinking but I don't drink often because of the depression and intend to cut-down more), but I don't know if I should tell my bf or not.

I hadn't intended on telling him (well, just not so soon anyway)...but I hadn't really intended on it affecting. I'm afraid if I tell him he'll either think I'm just using it as an excuse for the other night or it'll frighten him off, as mighty mouse said it's still a very new relationship.

At the same time if I don't tell him I feel like I'm hiding it from him...any advice?

Miss Fluff

Op_Here wrote: »

I'm afraid if I tell him he'll either think I'm just using it as an excuse

He most probably will, and he will also think that you're more or less issuing a proviso that you can behave that way in future and use your illness as a convenient get-out clause.

As and when the relationship progresses you can bring up this matter but not in the aftermath of an argument.