Cramps, but no period

LegacyUser

Ok so a few weeks ago the guy i'm seeing and I were drunk and started having sex - unprotected - but stopped after around 10-15 secs as we realised what we were doing.
I am now 8 days late, although have been experiencing cramps for the past 10 days.
Is there a chance we could be in trouble? or am i more than likely causing it to be late by worrying - although I wasn't worried until it never arrived
Any help appreciated

dellas1979

Get a test!!
Yes, its possible you are pregnant, but also possible you are not!
Only one way to find out! Find the courage and scoot down to the chemist pronto.

Neyite

Do a test. I got cramps at 5 weeks. I had got a positive the week before and the cramps were streching of the uterus.

But, it could also be that you are paying more attention to your body because of the risk you took and are aware of pms cramps that you would normally not notice. And stressing can delay a period.

Either way, once you test you will know one way or the other.

greenprincess

Def get a test!! There are a few places that do them for free

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies guys, and I did what you suggested and got a test.
I took one, and am gonna take one tomorrow to be sure and i don't believe the results.
It says i'm in big big big effing trouble. I'm in serious shock. I'm a student. I still have a year to go.

Swampy

If you are pregnant. Head to a doctor for a check. Start taking folic acid and cut out the smokes and booze.

Oryx

Corncerned20 wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies guys, and I did what you suggested and got a test.
I took one, and am gonna take one tomorrow to be sure and i don't believe the results.
It says i'm in big big big effing trouble. I'm in serious shock. I'm a student. I still have a year to go.

Its not the end of the world. Breathe.

In the charter there is a post which lists sources of help for crisis pregnancy. As advised, if you have had a positive test, your next step is to get to a doctor for confirmation and more advice on how far along etc. Give yourself time to let this sink in, and look over your options. THERE IS NO PANIC. You dont need to do anything immediately, give yourself a few days to let this sink in if it is positive.

Miss Fluff

Corncerned20 wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies guys, and I did what you suggested and got a test.
I took one, and am gonna take one tomorrow to be sure and i don't believe the results.
It says i'm in big big big effing trouble. I'm in serious shock. I'm a student. I still have a year to go.

Pregnancy tests can sometimes come up as a false positive or a false negative. If you have free GP cover I suggest you get yourself to the college GP and let them conduct a test for you while you wait in the surgery.

Please don't panic hon. This is easier said than done I know but read the Charter as suggested above and if you are pregnant take time to consider your options and educate yourself on what the next best steps are for you.

If you're not pregnant, I suggest you get yourself to a GP anyway and go through the various contraceptive options available to you.

Hope it works out for you.

Neyite

Corncerned20 wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies guys, and I did what you suggested and got a test.
I took one, and am gonna take one tomorrow to be sure and i don't believe the results.
It says i'm in big big big effing trouble. I'm in serious shock. I'm a student. I still have a year to go.

Unfortunately, those test dont lie about a positive result unless you are taking medication containing HCG. This is a hormone that is only present when a pregnancy occurs and the tests pick up this specific hormone.

As Oryx says, breathe. You are only 5 weeks along, and you have plenty of time to make a decision. Research all your options, and speak to an unbiased person who has your interests at heart. Can the father help out financially (with whatever decision you decide)?

As you have found, withdrawl is a seriously flawed method of contraception, and once you resolve this you really need to sort out a failsafe method that suits you.

LegacyUser

Ehh well the dad is a student as well, he's in his final year and i'm in my third (out of 4).
I havn't said anything to him yet. I told my friend though so she's gonna come over later and help me sort my head out, and i will take another test tomorrow to be doubly sure.

I guess my biggest concern is not getting to finish my degree. I absolutely love my course, and will be starting a years placement next September. This could make things increasingly difficult.
Any body have any info or experiences that may be useful to me to get through the final year? Thanks for all the responses x

Oryx

I know at least 3 girls who studied while pregnant or with young babies (one I was in college with). All did just fine, two of them were shock pregnancies, but once the initial panic settled, they found a way around managing baby and study. You have options.

Corncerned20

Corncerned20 wrote: »

Ehh well the dad is a student as well, he's in his final year and i'm in my third (out of 4).
I havn't said anything to him yet. I told my friend though so she's gonna come over later and help me sort my head out, and i will take another test tomorrow to be doubly sure.

I guess my biggest concern is not getting to finish my degree. I absolutely love my course, and will be starting a years placement next September. This could make things increasingly difficult.
Any body have any info or experiences that may be useful to me to get through the final year? Thanks for all the responses x

I was in college with a girl who got pregnant either just before or during first year. i didnt know her too well, but the college seemed very supportive of her, she had the child and went back later to complete the year, and got her degree.
there's loads of options and colleges can be helpful. it doesn't mean you wont finish your degree. maybe you will defer the year, defer a few months, and go back after that, if you decide to have the child.

Neyite

Op, check out if your college has a creche, and find out how you can sign up for it, and whatever other support systems they may have - for instance, could you do some lectures online or distance learning after you have your baby? A lot of colleges are very supportive of their student mums.

Even if you were not in college, maternity leave ends at some point, and if you were in a full time job you would face the same issues to a certain extent. You still need to go out to do what you need to do, and baby still needs to be minded.

Myself and my partner will have to figure out how do we manage 2 full time jobs with a baby, (and we wont be relying on grandparents) plus I have 3 exams+ 2 years of work experience to complete to get my qualification.

My partner also wants to find something to upskill and compliment his existing degree. And we planned this pregnancy. (and open to the idea of more!) Whether you are full time at college or full time working, its still a juggling act with a family.

LegacyUser

Thank you SO much for the replies. You all have really helped me calm down and gain a rational view of things. I'm going to take another test tomorrow morning (forever hopeful that it was a glitch in the test :P ) and if I get another positive result, I'm going to go to the college doctor, my friend said she'd come with me.
I will hold off telling the dad (he's now my boyfriend) until his exams are done. There is no point in giving him this stress until he finishes his exams at the end of the week, so a few days won't hurt.
And then, I suppose I've got to go home and tell my mum.
I can't tell you how helpful you all have been, it's greatly appreciated!

So.. I know I have tortured you all enough, but can anybody tell me what to expect at the doctors apt. tomorrow if i have to go?

Neyite

When a test shows positive and its followed shortly by your period, its not the test that is faulty usually, its is more likely a chemical pregnancy.

Thats when the egg is fertilised, but fails to implant in the womb, so your HCG levels and progesterone drop and cause the lining of your womb to come away as it normally would every month.

Op, I would tell your boyfriend as soon as his exams are done, but you both can wait as long as 4 months before you need to tell anyone else - I would suggest you wait until at least the 12 week mark ( you get into the 'safer' zone, when the risk of miscarriage drops from about 25% to about 10%-3%) but also it gives you both time to figure out how you are going to approach it together.

If you tell your mum within a week or two, she will only ask you heaps of questions that you havent figured out the answer to yet. Time enough in a month or so. I didnt start to show until about 15 /16 weeks so you have loads of time.

LegacyUser

I'm really surprised that virtually everyone is assuming the OP will have this baby.

I know not everyone will agree but I see nothing wrong with a termination. I think it is a better option than bringing an unwanted baby into the world, or a baby you can't currently provide for.

I disagree with everyone else saying you can continue with your education, etc. I have a very close friend who did everything in her power to finish her final exams, but what was the point? She graduated with a degree in a professional area but never got the chance to work in it as her partner didn't stick around and she ended up being a full-time mum. I think people need to be a little more realistic about education and college with a baby. It may not be a reality for everyone. Not everyone will have a huge support system around them for free babysitting, etc. Not everyone will have a fully supportive family.

Also, my impression is that the OP isn't in a relationship with the father of the baby.

OP, in my case I got pregnant in similar circumstances by a guy who's more of a friend than partner back in August.

I opted for abortion and have no regrets whatsoever. Like you, I'm a college student, and maybe it makes me selfish but I'm not ready for motherhood; I want to complete my studies and be self sufficient working in my profession for a few years. I didn't spend all of those years studying to limit my options now by starting out my working life next year with a baby under my arm.

I will have children one day I hope, but I want them with someone I love, I want two parents to my kids. I grew up in a lone parent family and it has certainly had a huge negative effect on my life.

This is 100% YOUR choice and don't forget that. If you think the father will be supportive, discuss this matter with him too. But don't feel pressured into having to go through with this pregnancy.

For me, termination was very straight forward and I haven't dwelled on it since. The staff were fantastic, it was all over and done with quickly and I've never looked back. No-one other than my best friend knew anything about it, I took off on a Friday and was back into college as normal the next week, learning to be more careful in future.

Good luck whatever your decision.

Shoe Lover

OP, my little sister was in the same boat as you a few years ago. She was heading into her final year at college and discovered she was pregnant. She let the college know before she went back and they were very understanding, they really did go out of their way to make sure that she could complete the year. She had my niece in March, was back at college three weeks later and got the highest mark in her class in her finals. So this is not the end of the world, even if it seems like it.

I can understand that telling your mam will be hard but remember, she's your mam, she loves you and if she takes it badly, she will come around. My mother hit the roof nearly but after a few weeks, she came around and was 110% supportive of my sis!

It'll be ok.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the responses.

Ok, so the test I took this morning also came back positive, so i went to my college doctor and was sent to see the nurse first. She did another test for me and again it came back as positive. She could see I was quite distressed and asked me had i considered any alternate options and i said I had, very slightly and so she gave me a +options leaflet and advised me not to make any decisions for a week or so until everything sinks in, and that it's probably best not to tell parents until I've made a decision i'm happy with, because i need to have a solid plan of action to deal with their shock/panic.

Thanks for everything, you've all been so so helpful! x

theg81der

Op please don`t let anyone bully you into a termination either. It can seem like the easier option but it the long run it may not be. Theres a lot of pressure now to have terminations and although agencies are presented as providing a free enviornment to discuss your option I find they are much more veering towards supporting abortion and when I was with one friend I would actually say they were extremely pushy. A poster above said she had an abortion and is happy with her decision but I have to say of the girls I know who have had abortions they all regreted their decision.

Its YOUR choice, I`m anti abortion because it doesn`t seem right to me and what I`ve seen, but I respect you choice and feel you should get a balanced and fair perspective.

Taltos

As the OP's original question was answered we are now closing this thread.

Taltos