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  • 09-12-2011 1:08am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, Just looking for some feedback on my situation.

    I'm 34 and have three kids all under 6 and I have been with my partner for the last 10 years. In the last year or two we have been bickering more and more. Arguments are usually over insignificant things and blow up into weeks of silence.

    We rarely have sex and when we do there is an atmosphere, I questioned her about it a couple of years ago, she told me that she had a low sex drive. This upset me a lot at the time as I took it personally and the fact that she is very attractive made it even worse. So from then on I felt that she was just having sex to appease me. I would have rathered she hadn't told me! Any time I initiated anything sexual (which was often, my sex drive is very high ) It starts well but then reality kicks in, sometimes I cant even "finish"

    I have discussed this with her and it ends as always with her coldly saying its nothing personal.

    I think I'm coming to a point now that I just cant continue in this situation any more, I do love her but I dont want a sexless relationship/life. I find myself looking at other women more and more and pathetically dreaming of a normal relationship. I'm still loyal to her as she helped me through some very bad times .

    I'm very afraid at the prospect of losing her and the effect it would have on the kids of course. It feels selfish to be thinking like this but it's on my mind 24/7

    I've blabbed on for long enough, thanks for reading.


Comments

  • #2
    Pebbles68
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 165 ✭✭Pebbles68


    OP, what a horrible and sad situation to be in. Is there just a lack of interest in intimacy or would you say the relationship has changed in other ways?


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi pebbles68,

    I dont think anything has changed besides the lack of intimacy and Bickering. Resentment is too strong a word but I do feel a measure of it.

    When we are getting on we have a good time which makes me feel at ease and confident enough to initiate some kind of intimacy! The intimacy results in sometimes being able to block out knowing that she has no interest, but rarely am I able to fully ignore the truth.

    I want so much for her to want me as much as I do her. The reality is she never will and it tears me up inside.


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