Married and found another woman

LegacyUser

Message BodyFor the past 2 years my wife and I have been going through a rough patch, when things go wrong it's my fault one of our kids has learning disabilities and she blames my faulty genes

There was a electrician who did some work for us off and on and she got it into her head that he fancied her, she wrongly blamed me for having eyes for a girl in work and she said she came very close to making a pass at him

She's very paranoid and very negative about everything she thinks I'm constantly putting her down in public and in front of people, I can swear I don't I've constantly to be walking on egg shells, she can't drive and we live in the country, I've to bring her everywhere and do all the shopping, etc I work long hours and it's to provide for us, she tells me she hates me and says I've no interest in the family

She has no friends and stays at home all day hand washing cloths, I've mentioned to her about getting help from the gp but she won't, I was worried at one stage she do something stupid

All of this really got me down, I met a girl in a bar and we got on fine she gave me her number and one day I decided to contact her now were meeting up, I don't want a sexual thing I want to enjoy someone's company, my wife has given up on life that does not mean I have to, she wants to go nowhere and do nothing, she tells me all the time our marriage is over and were only together for the sake of the kids

I've never done anything like this before, I really don't know what I'm doing, my marriage is beyond repair my wife doesn't love me

Reesy

Hi OP,

For what little it's worth, my urgent advice is:
1) Don't meet this woman, not yet. If you need support, try get it from a (male) friend.
2) Go to counselling, or if you can, have a grown-up chat with your wife about whether the relationship should continue. TBH I'd suggest counselling. Take the time off work & do whatever it takes to start that process of getting help.

Even if you both believe the relationship's over (do you? It kinda sounds like you are maybe crying for help & want to fix it. Do you still love her?) then there are dignified ways to end it. Meeting another woman for whatever reason is at best a step in the wrong direction.

Good luck.

greenprincess

You need to seriously talk to your wife about you relationship, you also need to figure out exactly how you feel.
Is your wife depressed? You really need to discuss all this.
I also agree that meeting up with this other woman is probably a bad idea

silly

For the sake of the kids you need to get your wife some help. She is clearly not well.

You need counselling, she needs it. And ye need it as a couple.

Your kids will be the victims in all this.

Don't meet this woman, look after your wife and kids instead.

Big Bag of Chips

It all depends on if you seriously want your marriage to work. If you do, then it will take hard work, on both your parts. You can't save it without cooperation from your wife.

If you've both decided it's not worth it and your marriage is infact unsalvegable, then you need to split up.

Staying together "because of the children" and not trying to change anything about the relationship is the wrong thing to do. Do you think they are happy in their environment? Do you want them to grow up in that environment, and think that it's "normal"?

If you can save your marriage, try.
If you can't, do your kids a favour and stop.

I am a friend

Does this girl know you are still married - not separated - married.

IrishEyes19

Dont meet this woman unless you have left your wife. Does this other woman know this meeting up is purely platonic since your married. Do you??

If your marriage isnt working out, deal with that first. No one is denying you happiness but yourself and if you feel you are no longer happy.End the marriage, but do it right. Dont leave this situation where you are the cheating husband. You can end this in a much less painful way than hurting your wife. good look to you