5 months in a relationship and only sex twice

madmac187

Hi all, I have been in a relationship 5 months now and only had sex twice. I'm in my mid 20s and she is her late. We have only had sex twice in this period and I don't know what to do. We have said that we love each other and I do so much, but it has me so sad that we don't give ourselves to each other more often.

Our first time, was typical of a couple new to each other, awkward but nice. I was not able to come nor she and lasted half An hour, we stopped because she started to get sore. Our second was the opposite, it was great. She came several times, something she said never happened before with a person, but I just wasn't able to come and had to do myself.Since that night we haven't had sex. I'm really depressed and upset that this is happening.

I have tried everything I know from getting into the shower with her to everything, she might like.

I am at my wits end and feel I am doing something wrong, i have no confidence in myself because of it. I am starting to get very depressed over this. We can and have talked about things before that are more personal than this but I'm wondering do I say something to her, if so how do I do it? The last night I slept with her to get rid of erection and had to masturbate while she was in the bathroom. I just feel so bad over this and want to make things right.

Can anyone help me please?

LegacyUser

Chances are she is thinking that she is doing something wrong since you havent cum either time. The odd time i dont cum during sex my girlfriend can get worked up over it as she thinks its her fault and somethings wrong with her. Although thats never the case, its the first thing she always thinks of

Just talk to your girlfriend about it, trying to figure out what she is thinking without talking to her is taking the hard option

Lamposts

The best thing you can do is talk to her about it mate. Instead of worrying and getting paranoid about it say something to her. Ask her is there something wrong, why don't we have sex often? If you love her and she loves you then she'll understand. It's only going to get worse if you don't speak with her about it now. Trust me, it will help.

Miss Fluff

madmac187 wrote: »

We can and have talked about things before that are more personal than this but I'm wondering do I say something to her, if so how do I do it?

I am sure she is as keenly aware as you are that your sex life is not normal. You're going to have come straight out with it. Not in the bedroom. Not when either of you have drink taken or anything but I would set up "a talk" about it as I think the gravity of the situation requires just that (as opposed to casually bringing it up during the ad breaks on TV). Contact her, tell her you need to discuss something important with her (reassure her you're not breaking up with her so she has nothing to worry about) and then tell her that the lack of sex is making you depressed/knocking your confidence. I would say she is feeling the exact same way and her confidence is probably knocked so if you both get it all out in the open it should hopefully help begin rectify the situation. You're probably only a chat and a few practice runs away form having a hot and fulfilling sex life so if you are both as keen on each other as you say then you owe it to yourselves

madmac187

Miss Fluff wrote: »

madmac187 wrote: »

We can and have talked about things before that are more personal than this but I'm wondering do I say something to her, if so how do I do it?

I am sure she is as keenly aware as you are that your sex life is not normal. You're going to have come straight out with it. Not in the bedroom. Not when either of you have drink taken or anything but I would set up "a talk" about it as I think the gravity of the situation requires just that (as opposed to casually bringing it up during the ad breaks on TV). Contact her, tell her you need to discuss something important with her (reassure her you're not breaking up with her so she has nothing to worry about) and then tell her that the lack of sex is making you depressed/knocking your confidence. I would say she is feeling the exact same way and her confidence is probably knocked so if you both get it all out in the open it should hopefully help begin rectify the situation. You're probably only a chat and a few practice runs away form having a hot and fulfilling sex life so if you are both as keen on each other as you say then you owe it to yourselves

I dunno how to say it to her, she won't give me a straight answer i think. She has told me after the second time that she hasn't been with anyone that lasts as long as me and that in a way she kinda felt bad because she couldn't make me come.

When I do get inside her and penetrate her at the start I think I'm hurting her a little because of my size, this is after foreplay and ready to go. I just feel bad over it. Could it be that she feels bad and confidence knocked because I haven't come?

mspink

madmac187 wrote: »

Miss Fluff wrote: »

madmac187 wrote: »

We can and have talked about things before that are more personal than this but I'm wondering do I say something to her, if so how do I do it?

I am sure she is as keenly aware as you are that your sex life is not normal. You're going to have come straight out with it. Not in the bedroom. Not when either of you have drink taken or anything but I would set up "a talk" about it as I think the gravity of the situation requires just that (as opposed to casually bringing it up during the ad breaks on TV). Contact her, tell her you need to discuss something important with her (reassure her you're not breaking up with her so she has nothing to worry about) and then tell her that the lack of sex is making you depressed/knocking your confidence. I would say she is feeling the exact same way and her confidence is probably knocked so if you both get it all out in the open it should hopefully help begin rectify the situation. You're probably only a chat and a few practice runs away form having a hot and fulfilling sex life so if you are both as keen on each other as you say then you owe it to yourselves

I dunno how to say it to her, she won't give me a straight answer i think. She has told me after the second time that she hasn't been with anyone that lasts as long as me and that in a way she kinda felt bad because she couldn't make me come.

When I do get inside her and penetrate her at the start I think I'm hurting her a little because of my size, this is after foreplay and ready to go. I just feel bad over it. Could it be that she feels bad and confidence knocked because I haven't come?

Yeah from a girls point of view I would say this is it. This has knocked my confidence in the past. Maybe she's afraid that if this happens again that you will lose interest in being with her. You need to reassure her that it's not because of her.

LighterGuy

Op ... this ... this is quite serious.

This is something you have to get to the bottom of ASAP.
Because it has to be said many a man has wasted his time or gotten used. And many of those men who have, will tell you there was a lack of sex. Im not saying it is the case. But you have to take that on board. Its showing the signs.

If she is not having sex out of fear of performing, pleasing you or whatever. Then that is fine. That can discussed and resolved But you must discuss them now. Get everything out in the open.

Because if in 4 months time and things are still the same after you've tried to, or seemingly aired everything out? ... A, you are wasting your time or B, getting used.

Ickle Magoo

madmac187 wrote: »

I dunno how to say it to her, she won't give me a straight answer i think. She has told me after the second time that she hasn't been with anyone that lasts as long as me and that in a way she kinda felt bad because she couldn't make me come.

When I do get inside her and penetrate her at the start I think I'm hurting her a little because of my size, this is after foreplay and ready to go. I just feel bad over it. Could it be that she feels bad and confidence knocked because I haven't come?

It could be that, it could be that because you have sex so seldom she's still nervous about things, you might not have been able to come for the same reason - or it could be she just doesn't have a very high sex drive. Really, it could be a million and one reasons but the only way to discover what it is in your case and how to solve it is to talk, talk and more talk.

If she won't give you a straight answer then that doesn't really bode well, you can't solve an issue when the other party won't disclose what the issue is. I think you need to ask to have an honest and open discussion, in private but away from the bedroom. Firstly you need to convey that you aren't happy with the status quo and it's making you sad and worried - find out how she feels and what she thinks can be done about it - and then you need to work together to find a solution you are both happy with.

All the best.

aidan24326

madmac187 wrote: »

When I do get inside her and penetrate her at the start I think I'm hurting her a little because of my size, this is after foreplay and ready to go. I just feel bad over it. Could it be that she feels bad and confidence knocked because I haven't come?

Then use lubrication, ky or something similiar. That should solve that problem.

x Purple Pawprints x

OP the key to solving this is communication - talk to your girlfriend, don't go jumping to conclusions. There are a number of reasons why you have only had sex twice. It may just be nerves seeing as you aren't together long. Bottom line - talk to her.

I am a friend

So whats stopping sex happening again? Is she saying no? I dont understand...

Beruthiel

madmac187 wrote: »

When I do get inside her and penetrate her at the start I think I'm hurting her a little because of my size, this is after foreplay and ready to go. I just feel bad over it. Could it be that she feels bad and confidence knocked because I haven't come?

Ask her.
And insist she give you an honest answer.
Five months into a new relationship you guys should be all over each other. It does not bode well that you are not.

Might I suggest oral for a while and avoid the penetration.
It might loosen you both up.