Where to go to meet the right person

LegacyUser

Hi.. Not sure if this is the right place but I'll chance it.
I'm a 34 year old guy and I have always been in long term relationships. I have been single several months nowand I am finding it very very hard to meet anyone I like.I don't get out very often due to financial constraints and when I do it tends to be to random bars. Most of my friends have emigrated and I work with much younger people when I can get work.
I find myself sitting in every saturday night, feeling sorry for myself etc. This really wasn't me.. I was always the life and soul of the party type. I'm good looking and I am pretty intelligent, I'm well read and told I'm interesting... the problem is that I'm getting to the point where I don't even know how to go about meeting women and I'm also starting to lose my self esteem and confidence. I can see myself being one of those guys that just slips through the cracks so to speak and ends up on there on..
Could do with some advice!!

LegacyUser

perhaps try some speed dating? it can be fun and well ya never really know till you try!

inexperienced

join some groups, meetup.com is quite good. you can join groups of your interest. sometimes, a movie night in a pub something can be as cheap as 5 euros. or just go for a coffee. i understand that it's very natural to want to find the special someone. but maybe you can first go enjoy yourself and not thinking of looking for someone. all the best.

Ickle Magoo

Well, I think more important than trying to find "the right person" is to find some friends so you aren't stuck in feeling sorry for yourself - which is never going to be conducive to attracting anyone. Having some friends is going to do more for your self-esteem and confidence in the longer-term, especially because they'll out-live any date or relationship that doesn't go to plan.

If you have financial restraints then have a look in your local area for any activities within your price range, five-a-side football, a writing club, a new language - whatever takes your interest. By expanding your social circle you automatically have the added benefit of increasing the likelihood of meeting people of the opposite sex who you hit it off with - but most importantly you'll feel happy/ier in yourself and that's one of the most attractive traits to have.

All the best. :cool:

nlk

Hi OP

I agree with other posters that you should maybe focus on meeting friends and then who knows what might happen.

I empathise with you. I have just got out of a long term relationship and find the idea of meeting people quite daunting. I'm not ready to do so yet but still find myself anxious about how to go about it.

You seem to have a lot going for you and obviously want to meet someone so it is irrational to fear that you will be alone forever. I don't mean this as a criticism. The same irrational fears creep into my head too and it does affect your self esteem after a while no matter how confident you are.

There is an interesting article on controlling negative thoughts here: http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/magazine/2011/1105/1224306893017.html

Sorry I know this probably a bit preachy and isn't answering your question at all but it sounds like you are quite down on yourself (also being hard on yourself- you've only been single for a few months). You sound like a great guy, just have faith in yourself and don't let someone else define you.