Does he like me

Waterfordgal

Hi Ladies/Guys i just want your opinion on this.So been kissing a guy since August, been out a few times for drinks togehter no cinema, dinner etc(not that it matters). I'm not sure how he feels about me. About a month ago he said he likes me but thinks i'm worth better then him and deserve someone who will treat me better.I told him i liked him also. We haven't been togather since as he was on holidays and just back but i did speak to him while he was away and he asked me did i mean what i said. I told him i did.
We were out over the weekend and he didn't seem that interested just sad he had to be up early for work the next day. It is driving me crazy and i just want to know what you would make of the situation

seanybiker

Hmmm tough one.
Do you contact him all the time or is a bit even on who contacts who?
It depends on the fella I imagine aswell. Personally if I like someone and she says she likes me to then I'm delighted but some of my friends like the chase and once they get the girl interested then they lose interest.
Hope it all works out well for you.
Must keep an eye out around town for a new couple feeling awkward

MyKeyG

Waterfordgal wrote: »

Hi Ladies/Guys i just want your opinion on this.So been kissing a guy since August, been out a few times for drinks togehter no cinema, dinner etc(not that it matters). I'm not sure how he feels about me. About a month ago he said he likes me but thinks i'm worth better then him and deserve someone who will treat me better.I told him i liked him also. We haven't been togather since as he was on holidays and just back but i did speak to him while he was away and he asked me did i mean what i said. I told him i did.
We were out over the weekend and he didn't seem that interested just sad he had to be up early for work the next day. It is driving me crazy and i just want to know what you would make of the situation

On the one hand he says you're too good for him but on the other he has no problem kissing you. He meets you for drinks but isn't allowing the dates to extend beyond the pub. It's one of two things.

One. He's testing the waters. He more or less told you he was a bad risk and you're still interested in him so he has his get out of jail free card for when he screws you over.

Two, he genuinely has low self esteem but even in that situation he should appreciate he holds someone else's emotions in his fragile hands.

My gut tells me it's the first one though neither seem very appealing.

Waterfordgal

thanks seanybiker .i really don't no what to make of the situation. I knew him for a while before any of this happened and to be honest i didn't see it coming at all. I'm just so confused at the moment. If its not going to go anywhere i would prefer if he just tells me instead of what we are doing at the moment. :mad:

cson

Waterfordgal wrote: »

If its not going to go anywhere i would prefer if he just tells me instead of what we are doing at the moment. :mad:

Force the issue; either make it official or you will find someone more deserving.

I wouldn't be hanging around in limbo for too long tbh.

Waterfordgal

MyKeyG wrote: »

On the one hand he says you're too good for him but on the other he has no problem kissing you. He meets you for drinks but isn't allowing the dates to extend beyond the pub. It's one of two things.

One. He's testing the waters. He more or less told you he was a bad risk and you're still interested in him so he has his get out of jail free card for when he screws you over.

Two, he genuinely has low self esteem but even in that situation he should appreciate he holds someone else's emotions in his fragile hands.

My gut tells me it's the first one though neither seem very appealing.

Yeah thats what i'm afraid of MyKeyG. its at the stage now where i want to know whats going on but dont want to ask him...i am hoping he will bring it up.Its kind of awkward as we work in the same complex so i would prefer to know what the situation is.

Waterfordgal

cson wrote: »

Force the issue; either make it official or you will find someone more deserving.

I wouldn't be hanging around in limbo for too long tbh.

I dont really want to bring it up.Maybe he thinks its just a casual thing...oh i don't no:mad:

seanybiker

cson wrote: »

Force the issue; either make it official or you will find someone more deserving.

I wouldn't be hanging around in limbo for too long tbh.

Forcing the issue will make him run a mile. Well unless he really really likes her, then it would be great but of he doesn't know himself then I imagine forcing the issue will scare him off.
Waterfordgal send him up around hillview. Ill take him hostage and persuade him to tell me how he feels.

All joking aside though. You seem to really like this chap. Luxky fella. Hopefully it works out for you.

Waterfordgal

seanybiker wrote: »

Forcing the issue will make him run a mile. Well unless he really really likes her, then it would be great but of he doesn't know himself then I imagine forcing the issue will scare him off.
Waterfordgal send him up around hillview. Ill take him hostage and persuade him to tell me how he feels.

All joking aside though. You seem to really like this chap. Luxky fella. Hopefully it works out for you.

LOL i might take you up on that offer:). Yeah i do really like him, i just hope he feels the same and not stringing me along. As i said i didn't see this coming, we knew each other for months before anything happened

dave3004

I think you know if someone is into you or not by their actions very soon.

The bad news is he's not into you.

The good news is….. He has 20/20 vision.

Sorry "Waterford Gal" but maybe take off the GAA jersey and see if he likes ya then :P

Hijpo

Sounds like the kind of chap thats cought in two minds and is willing to let you tag along until he decides what is right for himself :-\

but if you get angry/dismissive at the negative replies, you have a one track mind to this situation and it wont matter what anyone says you'll still go out with the lad until he breaks up with you and breaks your heart.

Such is dating :-(

seanybiker

zero_hope wrote: »

EDIT removed silly post.

Hey we are not all after sex. Maybe he respects her.

Jesus Im sounding like some catch. I always had the thing, if she sleeps with ya on x date then she would do the same if it was someone else. If ya know what I mean.
Some of us guys do actually want to get to know a girl and enjoy spending time with her before we get jiggy. Ok sorry for posting so much on thread. Ill bit ye all goodbye.

seanybiker

dave3004 wrote: »

I think you know if someone is into you or not by their actions very soon.

The bad news is he's not into you.

The good news is….. He has 20/20 vision.

Sorry "Waterford Gal" but maybe take off the GAA jersey and see if he likes ya then :P

If you know op and are having a joke with her then fair enough but if you don't know her and are giving an after hours reply then ............attack the post not the poster. .......
That post sounds like a post that will never merge with a post of the opposite persuasion but might feel so silly about being that kind of post that it will be like a little child on Christmas eve just waiting for that little small chance of a "thanks" from another post.
If you get me

Wibbs

Better here OP

ash23

Waterfordgal wrote: »

About a month ago he said he likes me but thinks i'm worth better then him and deserve someone who will treat me better.I told him i liked him also. We haven't been togather since as he was on holidays and just back but i did speak to him while he was away and he asked me did i mean what i said. I told him i did.

Ummmm...that sounds like he dumped you to be honest. If someone tells you you deserve better, they might as well say "it's not you, it's me".

We were out over the weekend and he didn't seem that interested just sad he had to be up early for work the next day.

You haven't been with him in a month. Since he told you that you deserve better. When you did see him he wasn't interested in being with you. I'm sorry to say but I really think that he basically ended things, just wasn't man enough to be crystal clear about it.

Miss Fluff

Waterfordgal wrote: »

About a month ago he said he likes me but thinks i'm worth better then him and deserve someone who will treat me better.I told him i liked him also. We haven't been togather since as he was on holidays and just back but i did speak to him while he was away and he asked me did i mean what i said. I told him i did.
We were out over the weekend and he didn't seem that interested just sad he had to be up early for work the next day. It is driving me crazy and i just want to know what you would make of the situation

Eh hon, I'm not being funny but I'm not sure what you're confused about. He put an end to things about a month ago

I'm afraid it's pretty clear he is not interested so I'd just move on if I were you. If he was interested you'd know about it - this is a non-starter I'm afraid.

Waterfordgal

ash23 wrote: »

Ummmm...that sounds like he dumped you to be honest. If someone tells you you deserve better, they might as well say "it's not you, it's me".



You haven't been with him in a month. Since he told you that you deserve better. When you did see him he wasn't interested in being with you. I'm sorry to say but I really think that he basically ended things, just wasn't man enough to be crystal clear about it.

But why ask me a week later did i mean what i said when i told him i liked him also.He was the one that wanted to go out. I was going out with mates and he invited himself along.

ash23

Waterfordgal wrote: »

But why ask me a week later did i mean what i said when i told him i liked him also.He was the one that wanted to go out. I was going out with mates and he invited himself along.

But when he met you he wasn't interested. Maybe he was having second thoughts but when he met you he wasn't interested. Who knows. If you're willing to have someone acting the b0llox with you then grand. But if you think you deserve better then ask him to clarify what is going on.
You won't do that for fear of scaring him off but why waste your time on someone who is so "meh" about you?
He's hardly that great a catch that you'd tolerate being treated like an inconvenience to him or a play thing that he picks up and puts down when he feels like it.

If that's what you want from a guy then you've got yourself a keeper! :rolleyes:

Miss Fluff

Waterfordgal wrote: »

But why ask me a week later did i mean what i said when i told him i liked him also.He was the one that wanted to go out. I was going out with mates and he invited himself along.

You're clutching at straws I'm afraid. He probably just wanted to hear you say it again, nice little ego boost. He's made it clear he is not interested in anything with you so if you do end up scoring him again it will be very casual and he has a get-out clause because he has already issued the disclaimer that he does not want to get involved. If you want to pursue this go ahead but he's already told you nothing will come of it.

Waterfordgal

ash23 wrote: »

He's hardly that great a catch that you'd tolerate being treated like an inconvenience to him or a play thing that he picks up and puts down when he feels like it.

If that's what you want from a guy then you've got yourself a keeper! :rolleyes:

I never thought of it like that. Thanks for pointing it out:D I guess i am scared of asking him what is going on.

missbelle

Been there, done that! As the other posters have advised, this guy is clearly just not interested in anything serious, it probably suits him fine to hook up whenever you're both out & about. Trust me, you're better to nip this in the bud now, and move on, before you get more emotionally involved.
Speaking from experience here....I know it's easier said than done when you like someone, but just pull off the plaster now

Waterfordgal

:mad:So i should have listened to ye i guess i was hoping. I spoke to him last week when we were alone. Turns out he is happy been single and has been like that for a while but that it doesn't change his feelings for me & how beautiful i am blah blah. I stupidly kissed him a few days later but have ended it for good since before i ended up getting hurt more then what i am. I don't think he believes me though but i will be strong.
ah well

IrishEyes19

Waterfordgal wrote: »

:mad:So i should have listened to ye i guess i was hoping. I spoke to him last week when we were alone. Turns out he is happy been single and has been like that for a while but that it doesn't change his feelings for me & how beautiful i am blah blah. I stupidly kissed him a few days later but have ended it for good since before i ended up getting hurt more then what i am. I don't think he believes me though but i will be strong.
ah well

well done OP for approaching it directly. its not easy to do. but stick to your guns and no matter what rubbish he comes back with if he texts some late night, dont reply or get back into the same situation. from my own experience in the past I got the same "Im happy being single" lines and I didnt follow through on the "dont reply" advice I got from friends and a long long time after did it end. It tore me apart the bullsh*it he caused and the worst part is, Im to blame too because I could have not replied and ignored him. So save yourself the misery and delete delete and block block. No one is worth your time if they dont meet your standards.

Missy Moo Moo

Waterfordgal wrote: »

:mad:So i should have listened to ye i guess i was hoping. I spoke to him last week when we were alone. Turns out he is happy been single and has been like that for a while but that it doesn't change his feelings for me & how beautiful i am blah blah. I stupidly kissed him a few days later but have ended it for good since before i ended up getting hurt more then what i am. I don't think he believes me though but i will be strong.
ah well

Well Done OP for asking him where you stood. In the past, I've allowed myself to drift through these quasi relationships without knowing where I stood because I was too afraid to ask in case I scared the guy off. Maybe I knew the answer and was more afraid he'd tell me what I didn't want to hear. But that stopped when I realised two things; 1)Having the confidence to ask and walk away when its not what you want is a great feeling rather than hanging around and the guy will often respect you much more 2) If things are going the way I want, then I don't need to ask as he will make it well known how he feels!

No more kissing or texting back if he initiates any half assed contact- If he wants a relationship, he knows where you are. If not, goodbye! I wouldn't hold out much hope though, he sounds like he'll just move on to another girl who will be happy with crumbs of contact.

dellas1979

He is using you to boost his own ego. STOP feeding him!
Takes a while to get the head around the stuff he is telling you, and why wouldnt it-you like him and he knows this and using it to his advantage.
If he wanted to be with you, he would. Plain and simple. No amount of kissing and casually meeting up with him is going to change this.
Back away now lady!

nowyouresix

When a guy starts telling you you deserve better....then run for the hills, regardless of how you feel for him at that moment. Run,Run,Run.

Missy Moo Moo

nowyouresix wrote: »

When a guy starts telling you you deserve better....then run for the hills, regardless of how you feel for him at that moment. Run,Run,Run.

Unless its said in a teasing compliment manner ie "what are you doing with me, I'm so lucky, I don't deserve you" then yes, run for the hills, especially in the context of the other things this guy was doing, sporadic contact, lack of dates, lack of interest etc

I am a friend

Op of he really liked you he would not be taking the chance that you get snapped up by someone else. Stop chasing him and go out and find someone who wants to be caught.

MyKeyG

Missy Moo Moo wrote: »

Unless its said in a teasing compliment manner ie "what are you doing with me, I'm so lucky, I don't deserve you" then yes, run for the hills, especially in the context of the other things this guy was doing, sporadic contact, lack of dates, lack of interest etc

Nah very often guys can say it in a teasing way to take the sting out of it. I say run for the hills anyway.

Missy Moo Moo

MyKeyG wrote: »

Nah very often guys can say it in a teasing way to take the sting out of it. I say run for the hills anyway.

MyKeyG, not going to get into a speculative debate about what guys could possibly mean when they say this- the point I was making that in this context with everything else taken into consideration, then yes, the OP needed to run for the hills.

Theres no point in the OP honing in on one thing that he said and using that as a reason to run for the hills, all actions needed to be taken into consideration collectively. As I said, the lack of contact, the lack of dates, the you deserve so much better than me.... It all adds up to the very black and white fact that yes, the OP needs to get out.

MyKeyG

Missy Moo Moo wrote: »

MyKeyG, not going to get into a speculative debate about what guys could possibly mean when they say this- the point I was making that in this context with everything else taken into consideration, then yes, the OP needed to run for the hills.

Theres no point in the OP honing in on one thing that he said and using that as a reason to run for the hills, all actions needed to be taken into consideration collectively. As I said, the lack of contact, the lack of dates, the you deserve so much better than me.... It all adds up to the very black and white fact that yes, the OP needs to get out.

Thanks

Jesus chill out I was only replying to the context of your comment. You claimed that unless it was said in teasing then run for the hills. I was trying to point out that even in a teasing context there's risk. You have an interesting boards experience ahead.

Get over yourself!

Thanks

Ickle Magoo

As you've resolved this issue OP, I'll lock the thread.

Folks,

Be aware that off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum - that includes using threads to have out petty differences with other posters.

If you haven't already done so, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter.

Many thanks.