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Feeling ugly with friends

  • 28-11-2011 10:49pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I started college and it's great. Somedays I am confident and some I am not. I have been taking anti depressants to deal with my anxiety and stuff in the last week (some other depression in my life too I went to my gp and got most of it sorted)

    I started feeling good and got most of my anxious feelings dealt with but today it all came back for the first time. The guys at college who I hang with are all pretty decent looking at least (hell a lot better than me anyway). I think I'm really ugly but when I say it as a joke people always tell me I'm not but I know they're being nice

    Today we were in the bar we usually go to for lunch to play pool etc. Some girl got my friends number and they kissed on the spot. It was good and we all started cheering etc, but while I was clapping and having the craic, I suddenly got these dreadful feelings again. I started seeing myself in 3rd person perspective, and started putting myself down, saying I'll never have that, I'm ugly and no one likes me. I tried to cover it up but I think it shown for a sec, my friends would ask me from time to time was I ok since I was zoning out and looked generally a little upset.

    How do I overcome this? =[


Comments

  • #2
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Go talk to a professional.
    They will teach you how to accept you for who you are.
    Until you love yourself it will be difficult to find someone else who will.
    Do this for yourself, you deserve to be happy.


  • #3
    fungun
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭fungun


    Agree with post above but also really do remember girls love guys who make them laugh, good personality....so even if you are 'ugly', doesnt mean you cant have the nicest girls - that is all in your head


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Try this next time you find yourself talking to yourself like that:

    Ask yourself this - would a friend talk to you like that?

    Or, what would a good friend say to you?

    Probably something more positive and upbeat as well as less berating.

    You are beating yourself up.


    Do a survey of couples who are older than you - ones who have gotten together and you might see when out. You'll begin to notice that the woman might be really attractive and the guy less so..... or the guy is a bit older....... or the woman a bit heavier......
    You'll find that it isn't only about looks - it's personality, sense of humour, wealth (possibly), stability, things in common etc.....

    A gorgeous friend of mine in her late 20s who is single doesn't know why anyone would fancy her... . anyway, she's into guys who are a bit ugly. That's what she said. i go for girls with big noses (not sure why but I always have)..



    HAve a read of "The Feeling Good Handbook" By David Burns and head to the chapter about untwisting your thinking. It's invaluable.


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