Confused as to what he actually wants!!

gem81

OK so meet this new guy he is lovely he persued me emailing me etc. We were very flirty this has been going on good few months now. He was just out of r.ship when we met so I didnt want to push anything as I know it takes time to move on.. We talk most days he is very caring made me feel great about me helped build back up some of my self confidence. Any way we have been casual for months he says it more than friends with benefits for him but I am so confused I dont want to rush anything but a date or casual lunch or something would be nice!! He says he doesnt want to hurt me etc cant make promises he cant keep I have never asked him for anything, So my question is do you think its all friends with benefits & he is using me but he know's how to talk to talk or should I give it time to see what happens?? Sorry its such a long post any input is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much xxx

Miss Fluff

gem81 wrote: »

Any way we have been casual for months he says it more than friends with benefits for him but I am so confused I dont want to rush anything but a date or casual lunch or something would be nice!!

I'm reading from the above that you don't actually go out on any dates. Does this mean you just meet up and go to bed? Have you never met up for drinks or dinner or anything? Because if you haven't then you are just in a FWB situation. Doesn't matter if says he's Darth Vadar to be honest, you should always go by someone's actions rather than what they say in my experience.

gem81

Thanks for the replies. Ms Fuff we have never been on date but we have met up if he is passing by mine just for little while just say hi quick chat. I did tell him recently that I wasnt doing this anymore I wanted something a little more he said he understood etc. So we left it at that. Then within a week he was texting me asking hiw I was etc. Asked to meet I said no problem we could meet for coffee out he said condition noted!!! He really seems to be a genuine guy he would text or mail me ask how my day us going. Im just so confused as to what he wants. We get along really well have good laugh & that. I knew he didnt want to jump into another r.ship. That was fine by me I was in 11yr rship that ended 3 yrs ago I just wanted to go out have some fun. Maybe because he is few yrs older he thinks I want to jump into serious straight away I dont & have told him this. I just want to take it slow have fun see where is goes not asking for any promises!! Men they confuse me so muck. Thank you again for the replies xx

Miss Fluff

gem81 wrote: »

I did tell him recently that I wasnt doing this anymore I wanted something a little more he said he understood etc. So we left it at that. Then within a week he was texting me asking hiw I was etc. Asked to meet I said no problem we could meet for coffee out he said condition noted!!!

Gawd he sounds exactly like someone I spent a full year "seeing" a few years ago - the sex was outstanding but he was such a plonker when I look back.

So did you meet for that coffee? I'm guessing no :rolleyes:

It seems to me that he wants something very casual and is playing you exactly how he wants you. (Sorry ) All very well emailing you and being sweet, of course he is going to do this if he wants to see you again, it doesn't require that much effort. Taking you out for dinner does.

This has been going on months now and it hasn't really gone anywhere has it? By that I don't mean moonlight and music and love and romance but you haven't gone out as a couple or met any of each other's friends or anything have you?

Casual is fine as long as you're both cool with what parameters have been set but this is all on his terms.

It's got FWB written all over it, regardless of how he dresses it up.

gem81

Ladies thanks so much for your replies & taking the time to read appreciate it. Typical I fell for it all im so out of touch been out of dating game for very long time!!! Xxx