Would you marry a religious person?

Penn

Now obviously, I think it depends a lot on the person, how religious they are, how they practise their faith, etc... But would a person being religious be something to put you off them in terms of a relationship?

I wouldn't really have a problem with it. I mean, to me it's the same as if a girl I met believed in ghosts, psychics or Tarot cards and the like. But I think definite issues would arise when it comes to wedding, kids etc. I'd rather not get married in a church in a Catholic ceremony, but it's something I could probably go along with, though it'd have to be one hell of a woman. However, I don't want any kids to be baptised or raised in any religion. When they're old enough, they're free to choose whatever religion they want, or to not practise any religion. But if I married a catholic woman, this would obviously be an issue.

So knowing that someone is fairly religious and is expecting big catholic church wedding, christening, communion etc, would that put you off?

Malari

Nope I wouldn't.

Is this not much the same as the "would you date a religious person" thread of recent times? Surely the same reasons would apply? Or would you date one, but draw the line at marrying one? :pac:

Dades

The term "religious person" makes it sound like religion would be a part of their lives, as opposed to some wishy washy cultural thing most Irish people are.

In that instance I'd hypothetically (I'm already married!) say no.

johnners2981

Malari wrote: »

Nope I wouldn't.

Is this not much the same as the "would you date a religious person" thread of recent times? Surely the same reasons would apply? Or would you date one, but draw the line at marrying one? :pac:

If you were dating someone really hot and really religious and they won't have sex before marriage, I think then it might be worth a quick one night marriage

kylith

I'd say no, if we're talking about Religious as in goes to mass every Sunday, sees communion and confirmation as important, and actually believes that a supreme being guides them. If we're talking about a cultural catholic who goes along with it for a quiet life then I'd say maybe; they'd have to agree to leave baptism, communion and confirmation for the children to decide themselves, and there's no way in 7 hells that I'll be getting married in a church.

I think that, in general, I'd be happier with an athiest. There probably would be fewer rows.

Sonics2k

Depends on how religious they are really.

I don't really see myself falling for someone who's a hardcore Evangelist, but I was engaged to a woman who was Catholic, though not exactly a strict follower.

Penn

kylith wrote: »

I'd say no, if we're talking about Religious as in goes to mass every Sunday, sees communion and confirmation as important, and actually believes that a supreme being guides them. If we're talking about a cultural catholic who goes along with it for a quiet life then I'd say maybe; they'd have to agree to leave baptism, communion and confirmation for the children to decide themselves, and there's no way in 7 hells that I'll be getting married in a church.

I think that, in general, I'd be happier with an athiest. There probably would be fewer rows.

That's probably the same as me. I mean, getting married in a church, if that was the only thing I had to do to agree to keep any potential children away from religion (baptism, communion etc), I could go along with that, because at least we're both making a sacrifice about what we believe to compromise. But generally, I'd say no, that I wouldn't marry someone religious or who would be expecting us to go to Mass, even just on special days like Christmas or Good Friday etc.

Not only that, but I enjoy talking about atheism, so if I could meet a girl who's into that, bamchickawahwah!

Morag

Depends on the religion and how fervent they are and what level of dominionism they subscribe to.

Max Power1

kylith wrote: »

I'd say no, if we're talking about Religious as in goes to mass every Sunday, sees communion and confirmation as important, and actually believes that a supreme being guides them. If we're talking about a cultural catholic who goes along with it for a quiet life then I'd say maybe; they'd have to agree to leave baptism, communion and confirmation for the children to decide themselves, and there's no way in 7 hells that I'll be getting married in a church.

Yeah, that describes me pretty much to a T.

I would be (as described by others) a staunch atheist, and the OH would be somewhat of a cultural catholic.

I decided that, once things got serious and talking about marriage/kids etc, that I wouldnt get married in a church, and that no way in hell (pun intended) would any children of mine be baptised etc , unless they were of consenting age and decided of their own free will to do so. That was a fun discussion, especially with the "wont you think of the parents" angle.

robindch

Relatedy:


How to ask one question, but mean another:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-best-questions-for-first-dates/

How the religious and non-religious match up:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/how-races-and-religions-match-in-online-dating/

Malari

johnners2981 wrote: »

If you were dating someone really hot and really religious and...

I'll stop you there, because I wouldn't be dating anyone really religious either. Like Kylith said really.

fungun

did you see the same thread on the Christianity forum? :eek:

Im ok with a practising religious person as long as i dont have to get out of bed on a Sunday morning. Or Saturday to be less discriminatory. Or even Friday (except for work).

MrPudding

I could not do it. It would not even have to be a particularly religious person, but obviously the more religious the more difficult it would be.

Just think of the problems. First of all, kids. Nightmare.

But I think that would pale into insignificance when compared with the problem with respect. I simply would not be able to respect them. My respect would be inversely proportional to their religiosity.

MrP

Zombrex

I would, I would just tell her that her religion commands her to obey her husband and then do what ever I want.

Ah religion :pac:

sephir0th

Zombrex wrote: »

I would, I would just tell her that her religion commands her to obey her husband and then do what ever I want.

Ah religion :pac:

You copied that rule off Islam cheater

Zombrex

sephir0th wrote: »

You copied that rule off Islam cheater

I think they all say that, or something like that. Advantage of being made up by men rather than women I suppose.

Penn

MrPudding wrote: »

I could not do it. It would not even have to be a particularly religious person, but obviously the more religious the more difficult it would be.

Just think of the problems. First of all, kids. Nightmare.

But I think that would pale into insignificance when compared with the problem with respect. I simply would not be able to respect them. My respect would be inversely proportional to their religiosity.

MrP

That's something I wonder about as well, though it depends on the person. But even if they believed in ghosts or psychics, I'd find it hard to take anything she said seriously.

"Oh, you say there was a crash on the motorway today? Did you see any evidence for it, or did a psychic just tell you it was going to happen?"

Mark Hamill

I would marry a religious person. I understand the worries that people have in relation to kids, but I am approaching this from the point of view that this is a religious person who has deemed it acceptable to marry me, so convincing them that the kids should be brought up to make their own minds up shouldn't be an issue. This isn't a hypothetical either, my girlfriend is muslim and we have discussed this.

Ickle Magoo

I don't think I would have ever married a religious person because I don't find religiosity a particularly attractive trait - and quite frankly life is so much easier when the whole church wedding, christening the kids, christmas mass type nonsense/debate is not even a consideration...if they were devoutly religious I doubt we'd be having a second date, never mind to the point of getting married!

mooliki

For me, the idea of marraige would only be considered if it was important to the other person anyway. The act, either in the ceremonial or legal sense, is one i would put little importance in. But aside from that, it would very much depend on the person and what role their faith plays in their life. If it's someone who's idea of religion is based purely on adhering to learnt dogma and would impose their beliefs on others, then i would imagine that would cause issues. But if it's someone who views their faith as a personal thing or would see the idea of the church as more of a form of community, then that I could live with. I would generally think more highly of someone who has developed their own genuine passion for whatever faith they hold, yet still interact with the world in a rational way (aware of how closely that borders on irony), than someone who doesn't really believe but still follows whatever religious ritual they've been taught, "just in case".

marienbad

I did marry a religous person, different time though ( thats my excuse) kids baptised , but I found that if you state your beliefs without making a big deal over time it has an effect. Only one of our kids is now a catholic and really a cultural one at that, though her son of eight is also a catholic. He asked recently why I did'nt attend mass and I said I did'nt believe and he was ok with that. He goes to a multi-denominational school and so it is no big deal to him. That is the key really, to get enough schools out of the hands of the church.

fitz0

I don't think I could to be honest. Obviously it depends on how religious she is and all that but I've gone out with some religious people in the past and its always come up as a divisive thing. I'm quite fond of irreligious and blasphemous humour and that just doesn't go down well with some people. A sense of humour is something I'd need to share with someone to go out with them for an extended period of time. So I suppose it's not directly the religious thing, more the sense of humour. But even so, I doubt any religious woman who is tolerant of religion jokes would put up with them indefinitely.

I don't intend to marry in a church if I ever do either, nor would any kids be put near a baptismal font of any kind until they can make the decision themselves.

Siuin

No way in hell (excuse the pun) would I marry a religious person. I spent too many years of my life trying to get free of that BS just to be thrown back into it again. Tbh I'd find it pretty difficult to respect my spouse if he actually believed there was some dude in the sky watching his every move. Also, he'd probably get annoyed at me ripping the piss out of his beliefs all the time.

ArtSmart

Marry?

hmmm.

dont mind a bit of dressing up in nun's gear and that kind of thing.

but marry?

Newsite

Zombrex wrote: »

I would, I would just tell her that her religion commands her to obey her husband and then do what ever I want.

Ah religion :pac:

Ah... the one-eye take of the atheist!

Littlehorny

To look at it another way- there is no way in hell a religious woman would marry me!!:)

Penn

Newsite wrote: »

Zombrex wrote: »

I would, I would just tell her that her religion commands her to obey her husband and then do what ever I want.

Ah religion :pac:

Ah... the one-eye take of the atheist!

Could have sworn that said 'one-eye snake'...

rainbow kirby

Littlehorny wrote: »

To look at it another way- there is no way in hell a religious woman would marry me!!:)

Likewise

Corkfeen

Well, If she's hot I'll marry her without question. But in general as long as their religiosity doesn't impact upon the relationship, I'd have no issue. Although, you will run into the issues of baptism and the likes etc. Although if she's Jewish, I'll happily read a speech for the kid's Barmitsfah in a frasieresque manner. (However you spell it.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1BuJuHq9a8

Newsite

Corkfeen wrote: »

Well, If she's hot I'll marry her without question. But in general as long as their religiosity doesn't impact upon the relationship, I'd have no issue. Although, you will run into the issues of baptism and the likes etc. Although if she's Jewish, I'll happily read a speech for the kid's Barmitsfah in a frasieresque manner. (However you spell it.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1BuJuHq9a8

Interesting.

If you met someone you really liked, but they turned to you one day and said 'your unbelief is having an impact on us, don't know if it's going to work out', you'd be cool and respect that, right?

Corkfeen

Newsite wrote: »

Interesting.

If you met someone you really liked, but they turned to you one day and said 'your unbelief is having an impact on us, don't know if it's going to work out', you'd be cool and respect that, right?

Well, I'm hardly going to start believing all of a sudden. So, yes if they did have such an intolerable issue with it, I'd be okay with the decision of breaking up. But i've yet to run into this issue. There's plenty of marriages between people of different faiths which work out perfectly well...

iguana

Not if it was organised religion. My husband and I have both had very similar religious journeys. Raised Catholic, though his parents believe in ways that mine do not, became interested in neo-paganism/pantheism as teenagers but both ended up believing in none of it by our 20s.

Yet I know that he'd probably have gone along with a church wedding and would baptise any children we might have if that's what I wanted and that alone sort of pisses me off. If he believed in paganism still, or something along similar live and let live lines, with no lifelong membership of a corrupt massive organisation for our children I'd probably be ok with it.

ShooterSF

Not a chance. But then again I don't want to marry an atheist/agnostic either. Contractual love ... bleh.

Siuin

ShooterSF wrote: »

Not a chance. But then again I don't want to marry an atheist/agnostic either. Contractual love ... bleh.

Indeed, because everyone knows that atheists don't have souls and are therefore incapable of love :pac:

efb

One of the benefits of being gay- less religious nuts to worry about!

Siuin

efb wrote: »

One of the benefits of being gay- less religious nuts to worry about!

Just have to worry about the nuts

efb

Siuin wrote: »

Just have to worry about the nuts

Never a worry! They call me the nut-cracker!

Tim Robbins

If the person is very Christian, they should not be marrying you as (St.) Paul advised Christians to stay away from us.

dead one

pious woman/man is greatest wealth of this world -- It is a thing which material desires couldn't measure

Shenshen

dead one wrote: »

pious woman/man is greatest wealth of this world -- It is a thing which material desires couldn't measure

This just made me laugh so much.... it's exactly the kind of chat-up lines I keep getting (mostly from African men, I have to say) on a dating website where my profile clearly states that I'm married and I'm just looking for some NSA fun now and then.

I never understood why people send that stuff, maybe you could explain that?

dead one

Shenshen wrote: »

it's exactly the kind of chat-up lines I keep getting (mostly from African men, I have to say) on a dating website where my profile clearly states that I'm married and I'm just looking for some NSA fun now and then.

I never understood why people send that stuff, maybe you could explain that?

right, first explain me, why do you have a profile on dating site -- where your profile is clearly saying that you are married -- I mean you're a married person with profile on dating site -- See what i have written above

- It is a thing which material desires couldn't measure

It needs wisdom to understand wisdom

Siuin

Shenshen wrote: »

This just made me laugh so much.... it's exactly the kind of chat-up lines I keep getting (mostly from African men, I have to say) on a dating website where my profile clearly states that I'm married and I'm just looking for some NSA fun now and then.

You're cheating on your husband, yet you still think you're too good for an African man...?
Riiiiight

sensibleken

how hot and/or bendy is she?

sensibleken

dead one wrote: »

pious woman/man is greatest wealth of this world -- It is a thing which material desires couldn't measure

i bet your parties are great craic

Shenshen

Siuin wrote: »

You're cheating on your husband, yet you still think you're too good for an African man...?
Riiiiight

Who says I'm cheating? My husband's on that site as well.
We've always been open.

And no, not too good. Just not available to marry.
And certainly not the type to fall for a religious chat-up line.

dead one

sensibleken wrote: »

i bet your parties are great craic

you bet not,
There are no parties here
The parties aren't here

"Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow

For Thine is the Kingdom

Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow


Life is very long

Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow"

Shenshen

dead one wrote: »

right, first explain me, why do you have a profile on dating site -- where your profile is clearly saying that you are married -- I mean you're a married person with profile on dating site -- See what i have written above

It needs wisdom to understand wisdom

I thought I already explained? Because my husband and I have had an open relationship for years now.

Siuin

Shenshen wrote: »

Who says I'm cheating? My husband's on that site as well.
We've always been open.

And no, not too good. Just not available to marry.

Wow. That's... something... special :S

robindch

dead one wrote: »

There are no parties here

Probably just as well since there'd be nothing to drink there 'cept orange juice and water.

Lay off the bad poetry, please.

Shenshen

Siuin wrote: »

Wow. That's... something... special :S

TBH, you'd be surprised... only in Ireland, people look for these kind of partners online, as there are some massive social barriers in offline life.

Siuin

Shenshen wrote: »

TBH, you'd be surprised... only in Ireland, people look for these kind of partners online, as there are some massive social barriers in offline life.

Huh! Tbh if a guy was messaging me about sex, I think my boyfriend would chop off his cóck :P But each to their own!