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Insecure in relationship

  • 25-11-2011 12:34am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am a girl in my early 20's and I have been seeing my bf for about a month. He's my 1st bf and I really like him. The problem is that while outwardly I'm quite a confident person I'm inwardly quite insecure.

    I'm aware that I'm quite attractive and I have lots of friends, in one way I can see why someone would like me but at the same time I often wonder if I'm that likeable, why have I been single for so much longer than anyone else I know. I mean, I know I'm being stupid, if my bf didn't like me he wouldn't be with me and he tells me he does but I still can't help wondering why. Another thing (which I know is really stupid) but after we 1st met I text him first and now I can't help wondering if I hadn't text him would he have bothered.

    I don't want to bring this up with him because I'm so embarrassed about these insecurities. I have brought up some other things (an issue I have due to an unpleasant sexual experience in the past for example) and I feel like these things are just huge turn-offs for him and just make me feel like such a weirdo, I mean he hasn't shared anything like this with me...I feel like I nearly lied to him by sort of having two personalities if you know what I mean. In fact it almost has me wondering if I'm ready for a relationship or if I need to sort myself out 1st.

    Anyway can anybody help me with this? Has anybody been through this themselves? I know this is trivial compared to other peoples problems but it's been really getting to me...


Comments

  • #2
    curlzy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,708 ✭✭✭curlzy


    Hey OP,

    We all have insecurities, don't worry about that. They tend to lesson as we get older. I'm 29 now and I'm very confident but I wasn't at 21! So yeah we all have insecurities. Why wouldn't he like you? Are you bitchy, mean, cruel, rude, crude, materialistic, grumpy? If you are, then you know what to work on, if not then why wouldn't he like you? I'm sure you know yourself whether you threat others well, if you do then why wouldn't he like you?

    With regards to the sexual experience, maybe nothing like that has ever happened to him and he just doesn't know how to relate. Stop putting loads of pressure on yourself and him. Just concentrate on enjoying each other's company, if it turns out well then you'll naturally trust each other and you'll share other stuff that you wouldn't share with everyone. Stop worrying so much and enjoy yourself with him. And don't be down on yourself, I'm sure you're a lovely person.

    Best of luck.


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