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How to be less intimadating

  • 22-11-2011 11:37pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hey there,

    I am in my mid 20s. I used to be a bigger girl and I lost a good bit of weight in the last few years and now I get far more attention when I go out.

    I have a large group of girlfriends and they are all v pretty. A few years back when I was bigger, I was always the 'larger' one in the group and I felt **** and kind of fell into the background. During this time, I built up a defense mechanism with guys where I would be very sarcastic as I used to get a lot of mean comments. I remember one nite I stood up to a guy for a friend of mine, he was being very rude, and he pointed to a painting on the wall of a fat dog and said I looked worse than that, I know I am very passive aggressive and things like this would just get bottled up and stored away until I would explode. So I suppose situations like this led me to build up this sarcastic mechanism over the years.

    Anyhow, fast foward 4 years later and things have changed. I lost a lot of weight, moved away to another country for a year and literally came back a different looking more confident person, I dropped the sarcastic tones and I have plenty of guy friends. I think its so shallow how those who insulted me and bullied me in the past have had the balls to try it on now that im more attractive, I think their behaviour was disgusting and I have told them so but for any new people I meet, dont put on a facade to protect myself anymore

    Although, I am very chatty and very out going, some men have commented that they find me 'intimidating'....really I want to know what is meant by this and how to be less intimidating? I am not tall or anything, 5 ft 3 and a size 10 so dont think its related to my stature, I know given my history I can sometimes be self conscious about my looks but for the most part this isnt an issue, I just want to be more approachable!


Comments

  • #2
    qwertytlk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 747 ✭✭✭qwertytlk


    Maybe its just becausee your confident in your personality and not afraid to stand up for yourself. Or perhaps you can still be a bit defensive because of the past? Its hard to say really without more details... Have you asked any of tthe people who have said this to you what they meant by 'intimidating'?
    You say you have a few male friends now, so why not ask thir opinions?


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