When should young people become financially responsible for themselves?

meoklmrk91

I grew up in house where Mam and Dad never had any money and were in debt up to their eyeballs, they still are but not nearly to the same extent. So I always promised myself I would never live beyond my means.

Once I started babysitting at 14 any money I had went on new clothes or any extras I wanted except for Christmas when I got money €100 as a present.

I saved up and bought myself my first car at 17 and have been fully responsible for myself since, sharing household bills with my parents, buying my own food etc.

But I see a lot of my friends around my age (20) and they still go running back to mammy and daddy for money and I just don't understand how they do it. I would be mortified to go to my parents for money especially for frivolous things such as going out etc. I just couldn't do it, I only ever had to go to my Dad for a loan of €800 for a new car after I crashed my old one and had that paid back in 2 months. I just don't get it, they just seem so spoiled and would ask their parents for money even of they knew they were on their last €20 or leave them short for the week.

So what do you think AH?

stimpson

I'll just leave this here

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056454830

Biggins

Within a year or two of finishing secondary education on average.

minidazzler

I started my own investments when I was 12 from my paper route money, I was a millionaire by the time I was 17, but alas, I turned 18 and started drinking, I need to get a loan off my parents tonight...

MungBean

Soon as they can sign on.

meoklmrk91

MungBean wrote: »

Soon as they can sign on.

Thing is they are all either on the Dole or on BTEA like me, and still they can't make do with what they have.

earpiece

I'm aiming for my 45th birthday.

I wouldn't mind having been responsible only for myself, but i've been helping out at home since i could
hearing people laugh "oh im broke so i'll ask the parents" or talk about living at home without paying rent... *shrug*

MungBean

meoklmrk91 wrote: »

Thing is they are all either on the Dole or on BTEA like me, and still they can't make do with what they have.

Its easy money then I suppose. They will spend their own money knowing that their parents are good for 20 on the weekend. Lots of people are just selfish and expect their parents to still provide for them to a certain extent and incorporate that into their budget.

hondasam

No point in having parents if you can't borrow money of them. No point in having kids if you can't help them out when they need it.

Arawn

I was finacianlly responsible for myself from 17. Then I lost my job and despite retraining it's hard to find work if the only previous jobs you've had were on sites

meoklmrk91

hondasam wrote: »

No point in having parents if you can't borrow money of them. No point in having kids if you can't help them out when they need it.

I concur, but there is a big difference between borrowing and taking.

MungBean

hondasam wrote: »

No point in having parents if you can't borrow money of them. No point in having kids if you can't help them out when they need it.

Hate to be your parents if the money dries up. Disowned by their own kid because they cant lend them money. :pac:

marketty

When they're 18 they're out the door!!

DEFTLEFTHAND

I think parents never comprehend that their kids become adults. I know when I have sprogs I will continue to financially assist them for as long as they need it.

Killed By Death

17.

Oh_Noes

I was about 18 when the auld pair took away the safety net. I wouldn't endorse this though. My sisters had no bones about taking big "loans" from my parents that they ended up not paying back, for cars and the likes. One still does it into her 30s. I was always too proud to do the same but looking back, I should have taken everything available. The real world catches up with you sooner or later and you have to account for yourself. It's no great achievement to do this because you're f*cked if you don't. If your parents have a few spare quid and it's made available to you then go ahead and enjoy yourself.

meoklmrk91

Oh_Noes wrote: »

I was about 18 when the auld pair took away the safety net. I wouldn't endorse this though. My sisters had no bones about taking big "loans" from my parents that they ended up not paying back, for cars and the likes. One still does it into her 30s. I was always too proud to do the same but looking back, I should have taken everything available. The real world catches up with you sooner or later and you have to account for yourself. It's no great achievement to do this because you're f*cked if you don't. If your parents have a few spare quid and it's made available to you then go ahead and enjoy yourself.

I just think it's a dirty habit being honest that should be broken. At the end of the day I hear plenty of people giving out about students drinking every night of the week causing havoc in their local areas, the fact of the matter is they were made to survive on what they got then chances are this problem would be dramatically reduced.

kate.m

Well I'm 18 and my parents have never given me (or my only brother) allowance. Since I was 13 I've cooked every evening twice a week (for the family) or sometimes more. And both my brother and I have een obliged to clean the house every weekend - started doing it at 8/9 just bathrooms then the full chore thing kicked in.

I still live at home, but I cook and clean to help out.

My parents said they'd pay for college, part of the reason they didn't give me allowance I guess :P - but everything else is really up to me. They haven't bought me clothes or cds or dvds since I was 16ish, with the exception of presents for my birthday. So I started babysitting/cleaning for neighbours at that age and I've over 1500e saved up now

When I get a part time job I'll start paying rent or coontributing financially - I don't think I should be dependant fully on them after I'm 20 for sure anyway. I'm kind of semi independant now I guess....

tiger55

I had a paper-round when i was 14, it stood me in good sted for my life to be honest. I have worked for about 90% of the time since i left school.

Hate being on the dole, it sucks.

kielmanator

When should young people become financially responsible for themselves?

are you offering me a job op? No?


THEN GTFO! Not my fault there's a fúcking recession on!

Oscars Well.

18.

Scruffles

depends on their maturity,mental age,ability to work etc-young people as a whole group does not work as not everyone at the same physical age are at the same level.

however,what shoud be taught from a very young age to everyone with the mental capacity,is that they need to develop an understanding of working and learn the concept of earning their stuff or earning their money-whether through doing chores,doing required tasks or if at the higher or older end of the scale; have a job,this can all be adapted to individual level so almost everyone will be able to feel good about contributing to others in some way.

phasers

I'd never ask the parents for money unless I desperately needed it. My friends all work so don't have to ask for money but they also don't hand up any money to their parents because they're dicks.

Frank Black

A parents responsibility is to ensure their kids are equipped to earn their own way in the word - usually this means paying for their children until their education ends - whether that's until end of secondary or college.

After that, you should be able to manage financially on your own.

Any help parents provide after this should be considered short term loans for emergencies and to be paid back.

G.muny

Ive had a job since I was in my teens thankfully so paid my way since then but I think if I have kids myself generally as long as they weren't lazy little ****s and I seen they were making an effort be it at education or looking for work I'd help them out the best I could reguardless what age they were. Thats what family is for after all.

lolli

I think a parent should provide for their child until they are finished university. I didn't really get much from my parents during college as I saved up my money from working but when I was stuck they gave me some money.

Everyones situation is different though. Some people can afford to give their kids big hand outs until the day they die, others don't have the financal ability to do that!

Pherekydes

hondasam wrote: »

No point in having parents if you can't help them out when they need it. No point in having kids if you can't borrow money off them.

FYP.

I was paying my way at home at 17.

Nowadays, it seems it's the done thing to sponge off your parents for as long as you can.

MagicMarker

On a Tuesday.

blow69

I was pretty much financially independent from when I finished secondary school until I was about 22 years old.

Then things started to go downhill from 22-present(23). Failure to find steady work, repeating a year in college and investing a tidy sum into bonds that don't allow for withdrawal except for once off annual maturities lead to an accumulation of debt. Maybe I should have moved home during that year, but there would have been no chance of any job compared to where I was living (Cork) and I literally would have gone insane, as would my parents.
So I'm having to rely on them more recently which I hate. They don't mind, but I feel ashamed.
Words cannot express how much I can't wait to finish my degree and generate income for myself.

MagicMarker

blow69 wrote: »

Words cannot express how much I can't wait to finish my degree and generate income for myself.

You'd think one would naturally lead on to the other wouldn't you?

parker kent

The obvious answer to me is that there are no hard and fast rules. Anybody coming in with something arbitrary like 19 or 2 years after leaving secondary education are ignoring the multitude of reasons that could change a persons situation. You should be financially independent as soon as possible, but that time varies for different people.

saa

I think you may not be as financially independent as you think you are if you were only sharing bills, I have been house sharing since I turned 17 but it wasn't until this year when I moved into my own flat I felt independent paying my own bills and rent not shared is a lot trickier and it made me grow up a lot.

I could never go back to my parents for money or somewhere to live so its different living at such a young age without a safety net which should be there but parents shouldn't spoil their children.

But having a job is great but not suited to every 14-16 year old, I would have loved to work, I couldn't get a babysitting job as I was isolated from other people growing up, didn't have the skills to pass an interview was kept off school so not skilled now, I don't feel liberated I feel like its held me back. So I think it has more to do with the ethics your parents gave you rather than finances.

Maybe you see getting money off your Dad for something you need different to something you want but its not being financially independent means not living with them (dependent on them to share costs) running back to them for anything because if you were working you should have saved over the years for incidental costs or you go without, or you claim off your insurance and take the financial re-precautions and not have a parent bail you out. But its okay for you to do that at 20 because you're still getting set up.

Basically true financial independence at a young age is a scary place and I don't think there should be a cut off age, there are more important things to life than your money and it is not a measure of success.

Togepi

I don't get how people can expect a seventeen year old to be financially independent these days when it's almost impossible for us to get any kind of work. I'd love to have a job or even just a bit of work experience, but where I live there's no chance of that happening.

So should I just quit school and emigrate then?

hondasam

Pherekydes wrote: »

FYP.

I was paying my way at home at 17.

Nowadays, it seems it's the done thing to sponge off your parents for as long as you can.

Kids only sponge of parents who let them sponge of them.
There is nothing wrong with helping out your kids if they need it or vica versa.
Kids might have jobs etc but still need a loan of parents, nothing wrong with that.

parker kent

Pherekydes wrote: »

FYP.

I was paying my way at home at 17.

Nowadays, it seems it's the done thing to sponge off your parents for as long as you can.

Good for you. But not everybody will lead the exact same life you did. I was paying my own way as much as possible from about 17-23 but then a variety of things meant I needed a helping hand for a while. I'm now financially independent again, but you can't just throw out nonsense arbitrary rules. Different people lead different lives. Not everybody "sponges".

Plus now you have 17, 18, 19 year olds that can't actually find part time work (or full time). Should they take to the forest and live Robin Hood style?

Dudess

I think people should start working part-time/holiday jobs as early as they can, and make contributions if living at home, but there is nothing wrong imo with parents helping out within reason until the kids finish college and get a full-time job.

meoklmrk91

saa wrote: »

I think you may not be as financially independent as you think you are if you were only sharing bills, I have been house sharing since I turned 17 but it wasn't until this year when I moved into my own flat I felt independent paying my own bills and rent not shared is a lot trickier and it made me grow up a lot.

I could never go back to my parents for money or somewhere to live so its different living at such a young age without a safety net which should be there but parents shouldn't spoil their children.

But having a job is great but not suited to every 14-16 year old, I would have loved to work, I couldn't get a babysitting job as I was isolated from other people growing up, didn't have the skills to pass an interview was kept off school so not skilled now, I don't feel liberated I feel like its held me back. So I think it has more to do with the ethics your parents gave you rather than finances.

Maybe you see getting money off your Dad for something you need different to something you want but its not being financially independent means not living with them (dependent on them to share costs) running back to them for anything because if you were working you should have saved over the years for incidental costs or you go without, or you claim off your insurance and take the financial re-precautions and not have a parent bail you out. But its okay for you to do that at 20 because you're still getting set up.

Basically true financial independence at a young age is a scary place and I don't think there should be a cut off age, there are more important things to life than your money and it is not a measure of success.

I lived by myself for 6 months last year and I did grand, I moved back home cause my parents split up and my mam couldn't afford all the household bills on her own, people breathing down her neck from all angles. It was a win-win situation, us being able to split the bills, meant I had more money to put away for college and she was able to manage to feed herself and keep the wolves away from the door. Her health was suffering and she was very lonely so I honestly couldn't do it to her.

As for anyone who is upset at the fact that they can't get a job, I know it's hard and I am not admonishing anyone who wants to be financially responsible but can't. I am talking about people who do have the money, waste it and then expect their parents to come on and save the day. For instance I know of a guy who is studying law, he rang his mother yesterday asking for €20 to get the bus home because he had spent all his money out partying the night before. This is the kind of thing I am talking about.

beks101

It's ridiculous to suggest there should be some sort of rule for when someone should be cut off and sent out to fend for themselves, it's entirely circumstantial.

My parents both worked their butts off in their careers and have been quite successful and part of their motivation in that was to be able to give their kids what they didn't have - a lack of pervasive financial worry growing up and an opportunity to enjoy school and college without having to worry about meeting rent or figuring out where the next meal was coming from. That was just their principle - education first - and neither of us suffered for it. We both worked at various stages through college and spent most summers earning for the year ahead, but no pressure was put on us to do so and we both started footing all our own finances the second we graduated and got jobs.

We were never minted and I was never a grand-a-month kind of kid, budgeting was kicked into us from an early age, but I'll always be grateful to my folks for the fact that I got the chance to ease into it gradually and really enjoy the freedom of college while it lasted.

I think the most important thing is that you learn the value of money, and that doesn't necessarily mean being kicked out to make your own way from an early age - it means understanding that it doesn't grow on trees and that getting X means you can't have Y or that Z simply isn't within your means. I was always made aware of the sacrifices being made to pay for my education and how costly day-to-day living is, my Dad's an accountant and I've watched him storing receipts and sieving through expenditure excel sheets from an early age. I learned what I need to learn about surviving on a shoestring budget as a young graduate and I've lived independently ever since, but it's nice to know your parents always have your back.

Robdude

meoklmrk91 wrote: »

I grew up in house where Mam and Dad never had any money and were in debt up to their eyeballs, they still are but not nearly to the same extent. So I always promised myself I would never live beyond my means.

Once I started babysitting at 14 any money I had went on new clothes or any extras I wanted except for Christmas when I got money €100 as a present.

I saved up and bought myself my first car at 17 and have been fully responsible for myself since, sharing household bills with my parents, buying my own food etc.

But I see a lot of my friends around my age (20) and they still go running back to mammy and daddy for money and I just don't understand how they do it. I would be mortified to go to my parents for money especially for frivolous things such as going out etc. I just couldn't do it, I only ever had to go to my Dad for a loan of €800 for a new car after I crashed my old one and had that paid back in 2 months. I just don't get it, they just seem so spoiled and would ask their parents for money even of they knew they were on their last €20 or leave them short for the week.

So what do you think AH?

A good percentage of people never become responsible for themselves. They will always depend on their friends, family, co-workers, and government to provide for them. Given the chance to spend money they don't have, they will gladly take it.

It's not that they are bad people, it's just they can't seem to handle things on their own. If they have good times and make more money, they'll just spend more. When times are less than good, they are broke, in debt, and need support.

I have family members like this. I feel bad for them, but I don't know how to help. If you give them money, they spend it and are broke again. You can try to educate them, but the problem isn't that they don't understand the situation, it's they don't care. They *want* to spend everything they have. And they are 100% okay with needing other people to pick up after them.

The Radiator

when they leave education

starbelgrade

As soon as they learn to walk.

The Radiator

starbelgrade wrote: »

As soon as they learn to walk.

thats too early

JupiterKid

As soon as they about 7 or 8 years of age and can start working 15 hour shifts in the sweatshop garment factories to pay for their parents and 7 siblings.:pac:

saa

meoklmrk91 wrote: »

I lived by myself for 6 months last year and I did grand, I moved back home cause my parents split up and my mam couldn't afford all the household bills on her own, people breathing down her neck from all angles. It was a win-win situation, us being able to split the bills, meant I had more money to put away for college and she was able to manage to feed herself and keep the wolves away from the door. Her health was suffering and she was very lonely so I honestly couldn't do it to her.

As for anyone who is upset at the fact that they can't get a job, I know it's hard and I am not admonishing anyone who wants to be financially responsible but can't. I am talking about people who do have the money, waste it and then expect their parents to come on and save the day. For instance I know of a guy who is studying law, he rang his mother yesterday asking for €20 to get the bus home because he had spent all his money out partying the night before. This is the kind of thing I am talking about.

I think the choice to spend all their money on something like drink is definitely something that is cultivated from childhood and has a lot more to do with it than being given money.

I'm trying to think why a parent would do this and I know it is out of love,
there can't be a cut off point, its almost too late you've instilled that way of operating into your child. If I was that mother I would say tough luck you're not coming home this week because your bus ticket should be within your budget. But if they got in a really bad way I would have to help them out being protective but then they still aren't independent so its just a long process I suppose.

books4sale

Haven't taken a nickle from the ould pair since I was 2.

Was out of house n home at 5.

Anyone leeching off their ould pair from 5 onwards is exactly that ...a parasite!

.....same for you OP with yer BS sob story (scrounger!).

meoklmrk91

books4sale wrote: »

Haven't taken a nickle from the ould pair since I was 2.

Was out of house n home at 5.

Anyone leeching off their ould pair from 5 onwards is exactly that ...a parasite!

.....same for you OP with yer BS sob story (scrounger!).

What do you mean my BS sob story, are you saying I am lying?

starlit

Yes and no depends on their situation really. If they have a job great if not, not so great. Under certain circumstances they should be paying their own way if living at home or paying for their own things at least or sharing the bills to a degree. Depends on the set up and who else is living at home like. If they have a job and living at home then they should pay towards most things if they haven't just let them pay for their own things and contribute some bit to the house.

Fighting Irish

Its' all relative tbh, there's no age a person should be dependant

Catari Jaguar

Fair play to you OP, your parents did a good job raising you into a decent human being.

flutered

they never leave or grow up, the worst thing is they leave then arrive back with a crowd, been there wore the t-shirt, still forking out.