Faint memory of being abused

LegacyUser · 17-11-2011 4:57am #1

I have this faint memory in my head of being abused by a man when I was around 5.
There's one tiny snippet edged in my mind. I've never told anyone about it, and have no idea who this man was. The problem is its so vague I cant be 100% sure it even happened, but I think it did. It's not on my mind 24/7 or anything but sometimes I dwell on it, like right now its depressing me. I'm very uncomfortable with people touching me, for example at work, a women who I worked with had her legs leaning against mine and I started thinking she was doing it on purpose (even though I probably knew she wasn't) to get some sick pleasure out of it. I get so angry when this sort of stuff happens but dont say anything. I just kept shaking her off so to speak every time it happened and react as if I felt she kicked me. It might have nothing to do with it but I sometimes think it has something to do with my faded memory. I'm just wondering if there's anything I can do to remember more clearly. I also think that who ever the man was is dead now, because I remember he was very old, even though I can't see him, if any of this makes sense. Is there anyway to get over my weird thing and actually not be so weird about people touching me. I think all my friends notice it. I don't know what I could do if I remember clearly what happened to me anyway, I could never ever say it to anyone. Its not a problem in that I want to kill myself or anything like that, it's just an awful thought makes me feel, I cant describe it, kind of disgusting though. I'd love to be able to wipe the memory either from my mind and just never remember it again. Is that possible through any methods like hypnosis? Although I imagine I'd have to tell the person the thought I want to get rid of, and wouldn't be able to do that

baby and crumble · 17-11-2011 11:35am

OP, the best advice I can give you is to talk to a professional about this. Even if you weren't abused, you still could probably do with working through this issue you have around personal space.

Best of luck.

Faint memory of being abused

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