Scared my BF is ignoring me

LegacyUser

So I'm not really sure what I looking for here but basically history seems to be repeating itself and I don't know what's wrong with me.

Basically about 6 months ago I met a guy, he treated me well, seemed to be head-over-heals for me so naturally I was delighted when we had "the talk" and decided we were a proper couple. He was my first real boyfriend and I was so please. Then things started to go pear shaped. He stopped initiating contact and kept saying how he was too busy to meet up (not even once a week). I saw him maybe 3 times after we that on all occasions everthing was fine and he was apologetic about the situation. Then he stopped replying to my messages. Apart from spotting in a nightclub a while back I haven't seen him since.

So I start seeing new guy a little over a month ago. Everything is going great, so great in fact that on our second date I felt comfortable enough to tell him about the trouble I have believing he even likes me after what happened with the last guy. All going great about two weeks ago we had "the talk". And immediately contact was left up to me.

I have only seen him once since, again v. apologetic about how busy he's been, swears he does want to spend time with me (and this was unprompted). So we decided we'd do something last night and that I'd meet his friends. He let me know at the last minute that it was actually just supposed to be a lads night out but he's sorry and really wants to see me. So I told him fine but asked him to text me to today so we could do something if he's not too hungover. I haven't heard from him.

I'm starting to get worried. I'm not clingy or mean or whatever else it is that could send boys away like this. I know it's only been a day but I don't think I can handle another non-break-up, why can't they just tell me if they don't like me? Should I just ext and ask what the story is? I just don't know what to think. Is this normal?

I am a friend

What 'talk' did ye have?

have you slept with the latest guy? Its very bad form that he changed the plans last minute and I would not contact him. Let him do the contacting for a while as you will soon know if he is actually interested or not...

thisStuff

faciera wrote: »

So I'm not really sure what I looking for here but basically history seems to be repeating itself and I don't know what's wrong with me.

Basically about 6 months ago I met a guy, he treated me well, seemed to be head-over-heals for me so naturally I was delighted when we had "the talk" and decided we were a proper couple. He was my first real boyfriend and I was so please. Then things started to go pear shaped. He stopped initiating contact and kept saying how he was too busy to meet up (not even once a week). I saw him maybe 3 times after we that on all occasions everthing was fine and he was apologetic about the situation. Then he stopped replying to my messages. Apart from spotting in a nightclub a while back I haven't seen him since.

So I start seeing new guy a little over a month ago. Everything is going great, so great in fact that on our second date I felt comfortable enough to tell him about the trouble I have believing he even likes me after what happened with the last guy. All going great about two weeks ago we had "the talk". And immediately contact was left up to me.

I have only seen him once since, again v. apologetic about how busy he's been, swears he does want to spend time with me (and this was unprompted). So we decided we'd do something last night and that I'd meet his friends. He let me know at the last minute that it was actually just supposed to be a lads night out but he's sorry and really wants to see me. So I told him fine but asked him to text me to today so we could do something if he's not too hungover. I haven't heard from him.

I'm starting to get worried. I'm not clingy or mean or whatever else it is that could send boys away like this. I know it's only been a day but I don't think I can handle another non-break-up, why can't they just tell me if they don't like me? Should I just ext and ask what the story is? I just don't know what to think. Is this normal?

Once is an accident. Twice is coincidence. Three times is an enemy action.

Both these guys treated you like sh1t. That means they are not nice people. But if you repeatedly get the same treatment from partners then it is time to look at yourself. I say repeatedly, but this is only twice, so it is as likely that this is just a sad coincidence.

Regardless, it is important to be assertive without being aggressive. Explicitly tell the other person what you want, and what you expect, and ask them the same. Where there are differences, compromise.

The feeling of someone being clingy is not really a time thing, it is a dependence thing. If he has more friends and activities than you, it will still feel awkward if you rely on him for social interaction more than he relies on you, even if you force yourself to have less contact than you want.

Where you are let down, be assertive but positive. Say in your own words "I was looking forward to going out with you and didn't plan anything else for that evening so I felt disrespected when you cancelled at short notice. Can we do something nice like X on Y day to make it up?"

barleybooley

Have you heard anything yet, OP? I wouldn't really sweat too much about it unless it was maybe three or four days after