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Rage/temper issue.

  • 13-11-2011 10:36pm
    #1
    Please Kill Me
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,340 ✭✭✭


    I've been like this for years. I have a very short fuse and a savage temper. Sometimes the "blow-out" can change from bad temper to outright rage. It's almost like a scene from the Incredible Hulk! No kidding lads, the sh!t that goes through my head in this state is unreal!! I've ripped doors off hinges, punched through walls and wrecked rooms when I get like this, which thankfully isn't all to often. But to get to that stage in the first place is not acceptable, and I know this. Thankfully I've never hit my fiancee, I could never hurt her, but I'm afraid some day, I might just lose myelf in the rage and lash out.

    Anyone else have this issue? Any ideas how to control/help it? I had to go to anger management classes a few years back. Would it be worthwhile to maybe do this again? I just thought it didn't do any good the first time.

    Any help/advice appreciated. Thanks. :(


Comments

  • #2
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Moved from tGC.


  • #3
    Please Kill Me
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,340 ✭✭✭Please Kill Me


    Otis Driftwood wrote: »
    Moved from tGC.

    Sorry, wasn't sure where to post. :(


  • #4
    Tea-a-Maria
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 736 ✭✭✭Tea-a-Maria


    I think the fact that you're aware you have a problem is a good start.

    I wouldn't give up on anger management classes.Maybe counselling might also help?If you have rage issues there might be an underlying reason that counselling could help identify.

    Alternatively take up a sport like boxing,so you have a place to vent any frustration or rage you have.


  • #5
    qwertytlk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 747 ✭✭✭qwertytlk


    Hi, my fiance used to be similar to what you describe. When our relattionship started to be serious i told him it was unaccecptale and i wasnt going to put up with it anymore and i would walk if he didnt try and do something about it. This was the push he needed so He went to counselling and also saw a hypnotherapist and he is a changed man. I also got him a punching bag which is on a bracket on the wall in the back garden so he goes out there and uses that. He finds its great. Hope this helps,..there is no reason to live your life like this when there are things you can do to change. Anger management may not be enough for the severity of your problem. See a counsellor and try to get to whats causing the rage, rather than the rage itself (if that makes sense) and once this is established, you can then work on dealing with how to vent your frustrations in a moe positive and normal way.
    Best of luck


  • #6
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    OP - anger management is definitley a great start - maybe also look into CBT (cognitative behaviour therapy). Talk to your GP and get some recommendations/referrals.

    Basically you need to relearn how to think/react to different inputs. Your reaction right now is anger/rage - where as others it is depression etc.
    There is no magic bullet here but having recognised that you have an issue you have taken an important first step. Keep on with this - go seek some professional help and keep insisting until you learn how to manage your emotions.

    As well as the fear of hitting your fiance as a stimulus for change here - think of what happens if you ever decide to have children. I am not saying you will hit them - but you could teach them that losing the rag is perfectly acceptable and thus doom them to a life of extremes that you have lived with up to now.

    You can change this - as someone who has - it is possible - but only if you really really work for it.


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  • #7
    Please Kill Me
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,340 ✭✭✭Please Kill Me


    Firstly, thanks all for your input. :)

    Tea-a-Maria wrote: »
    I wouldn't give up on anger management classes.Maybe counselling might also help?If you have rage issues there might be an underlying reason that counselling could help identify.

    Alternatively take up a sport like boxing,so you have a place to vent any frustration or rage you have.

    Well, my dad used to knock the sh!t out of me when I was young and I was bullied something fierce in school. I also broke up with my ex wife a few years ago and there's been numerous court cases since re: the kids/maintenance etc. I also lost my job recently and had the car broken into....just a string of bad luck really.

    As for the hobby, I did various styles of martial arts and kick-boxing for years. It helped, but I found I liked hurting people too uch and had no control and so couldn't "pull back" when in sparring sessions. So I gave it up.
    qwertytlk wrote: »
    ..I also got him a punching bag which is on a bracket on the wall in the back garden so he goes out there and uses that.

    Had one, found it great. It went missing, I must get another one.
    Taltos wrote: »
    Your reaction right now is anger/rage - where as others it is depression etc.

    Funny enough (I know, not the right word to use) but back in June I was diagnosed as having depression and was put on Amitryptilene (sp) which I had to stop taking as it was having a bad affect on me.


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