Feeling really hurt

LegacyUser

The last few days have been quite a struggle. I feel fairly hurt over 2 things. One of them probably apprearing worse over the other.
I swear I have no self esteem or confidence left at this stage. Have even developed a sort of tick on my left eye - maybe due to stress.

Situation 1
One of my good friends has apparently fallen out with me. I say apparently because I am not sure. I tired to contact her about 4 weeks ago to say hey and catch up, but no reply. So I left it thinking perhaps she is busy. Then yesterday I tried to contact her again (I text and after no reply after a few hours, I rang-no answer-at about 10pm last night I again text her asking if everything was ok. No reply). We've never fallen out before/never had cross words. One thing did happen a few months ago-one of her other friends had been quite mean to me over a period of time (years) and one night when we were out, it got particulalry bad and Id had enough. I was angry but didnt say anything. So a few months later I told my friend "look I just dont want to be around X anymore" wasnt an ultimatum or anything - just wanted to let her know - but maybe out of all this, Im coming across as the bad one?

Situation 2
So through feeling like crap over the above, Ive been texting a guy for the last few months. We always try and arrange to meet, but he either busy or me busy, so yesterday, for some god known reason, I think I felt I needed to be proactive in sorting out things in my life, I thought "Ill ask him out". So I did, and also havent had a reply!

Am so sad/upset/stressed right now. Am still twitching away. Its like everything is spinning out of control. You know the way they say "life is a rollercoaster" with ups and downs? Mine seems to be in a permanent down. I keep thinking I must be a horrible person for people to ignore me.

solovely

You're not a horrible person, and all of this most likely isn't about you.

But you do sound like you have a negative outlook, which is understandable. You sound like a victim and someone who always has people walk all over them and be mean to them. I know lots of people like this, and it's a hard cycle to get out of.

You need to be proactive for yourself and rely on YOU to make you happy, not the actions of others.

Well done on taking the initiative to text that guy and contact your friend. That takes guts. Now have the guts to do more stuff that doesn't involve people letting you down.

Go do some exercise, do something you enjoy, spend time with your family. Ignore the people who bring you down and make you feel negative and try to surround yourself with positive people. Their positivity will rub off on you. Don't spend your time bitching or moaning to other people. It's good to get things off our chest, but constantly going on about negative things just brings us down. Instead, make sure every conversation you have at least has some positive element to it. When meeting people, think of happy things to talk about.

The world is not against you. Only you have the power to make your world a happy one!

LegacyUser

Thanks for your kind words.

I've been single for the last few years, and enjoying myself-and working on myself, and always thought I was lucky at least to have good friends, family (we've had ups and downs but on good terms-who hasnt), a job, money saved.

I try so hard sometimes, I actually give myself such a hard time. Like the guy not replying to me. Well, the rational side says its his loss. The otherside says did I do something wrong? And give myself a terrible hard time over it. Seems to take me longer to comprehend a situation/get over it.

Case in point - last night I was out doing a team sport - I couldnt do something (something I will learn), yet I got so frustrated with myself/put so much pressure on. One of my team mates was like "you are too hard on yourself, youll get it in time, happens us all". My thoughts were "I want to be able to do it now". Am normally a happy go luck type of person, but in recent months, anxiety has become more apparent. I feel it in my gut/stomach everyday. Worry about things - things that may never happen. Right now I feel am a ball of nerves waiting to explode.

Taltos

Feeling really hurt wrote: »

I try so hard sometimes, I actually give myself such a hard time.

This here could be where many of your issues are stemming from... Maybe try giving yourself a break now and again. Holding yourself to high standards is great unless those standards can never be achieved...

In terms of the guy - 1st response is the right one - it IS his loss. Actually it says wonders for him that he didn't respond at all - and not in a good way.

Seriously cut yourself some slack or if you are just not able to then please find someone to talk to - maybe you just need a little help learning how to look at things just a small bit differently...

flowerchild

Be the flower.

When something is not right just notice it and let it pass. When someone does not get back to you, acknowledge how you are feeling and let it pass. Practice being patient and calm, and one day it will simply be part of you.